A Slow Learner
Why Don't They Leave?60 total reviews
Comment from bookishfabler
Gee you really did your homework. Well I didn't check your statistics, I'll take your word on it. Sounds about right.
It is sad situation. I have known abused persons and it is horrible. I'm lucky my parents were gentle and loving, and with all their problems, I was their world. Especially with Dad. So, I grew up self sufficient, had tons of friends, and felt good about myself for the most part. It is amazing how this makes a differnce.
Good article.
hugs
Book
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Gee you really did your homework. Well I didn't check your statistics, I'll take your word on it. Sounds about right.
It is sad situation. I have known abused persons and it is horrible. I'm lucky my parents were gentle and loving, and with all their problems, I was their world. Especially with Dad. So, I grew up self sufficient, had tons of friends, and felt good about myself for the most part. It is amazing how this makes a differnce.
Good article.
hugs
Book
Comment Written 08-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review!
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from hyway94
I can see what your saying but the best way is to have a wife like mine. She told me almost 40 years ago that if I ever hit her she would put me into a grave so fast that they may not have dug it yet. Don't be afraid that's the whole truth too things. And I have never even thought about it.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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I can see what your saying but the best way is to have a wife like mine. She told me almost 40 years ago that if I ever hit her she would put me into a grave so fast that they may not have dug it yet. Don't be afraid that's the whole truth too things. And I have never even thought about it.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much. :-) I am glad to hear you have always been a good man.
Jani
Comment from dymonz
Your points were clear and accurate. No one can challenge your stats -- you've provided them all. The work was well thought out and written, even though emotionally charged. Your writing keeps you grounded and your emotions are not overly apparent in the piece.
Excellent work. As a survivor of domestic violence myself, I certainly sympathize with your sensitivity to people who speak without thinking when they've never been there.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Your points were clear and accurate. No one can challenge your stats -- you've provided them all. The work was well thought out and written, even though emotionally charged. Your writing keeps you grounded and your emotions are not overly apparent in the piece.
Excellent work. As a survivor of domestic violence myself, I certainly sympathize with your sensitivity to people who speak without thinking when they've never been there.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Thank you so very much for this exceptional rating and review. You have made my day. You and I both know how it feels, then, to have lived it.
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from Siren_116
Sad but true, told like it is. No sugar coating perhaps a little kinder than some people need to hear it to understand it. Very well researched and presented. Would have like to heard more or a game plan from the author as to a solution. I personally would like to see more laws and stiffer penalties on the books for abusers. Let's "relocate" them!
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Sad but true, told like it is. No sugar coating perhaps a little kinder than some people need to hear it to understand it. Very well researched and presented. Would have like to heard more or a game plan from the author as to a solution. I personally would like to see more laws and stiffer penalties on the books for abusers. Let's "relocate" them!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review! A good idea!
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from rama devi
This is a powerful informative and impressive post, Jani. It is well thought out and conveys a clear picture of the real situation faced by these women. the statistics are also compelling. I think you should send this to your congressmen and senators!
Your linking the "slow learner" appellation is very clever. Great closing line! WOW!
My favorite aspect of this was your insight into the psychology of the abusive relationship, which is accurate and well described.
Couple of typos-
*Oh, and the bank will be collecting the car next week, now (that) you don't have a way to make the loan repayments
*For the State of Tennessee:(SPACE)IN 2004, there were an estimated 66,619 Incidents of Domestic Violence.
Million.(SPACE)In addition, Tennessee ranked 5th in the nation for
Many kudos for a powerfully effective and expressive essay.
I am glad you escaped that horrible fate.
Bravo.
warm Regards,
rama devi
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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This is a powerful informative and impressive post, Jani. It is well thought out and conveys a clear picture of the real situation faced by these women. the statistics are also compelling. I think you should send this to your congressmen and senators!
Your linking the "slow learner" appellation is very clever. Great closing line! WOW!
My favorite aspect of this was your insight into the psychology of the abusive relationship, which is accurate and well described.
Couple of typos-
*Oh, and the bank will be collecting the car next week, now (that) you don't have a way to make the loan repayments
*For the State of Tennessee:(SPACE)IN 2004, there were an estimated 66,619 Incidents of Domestic Violence.
Million.(SPACE)In addition, Tennessee ranked 5th in the nation for
Many kudos for a powerfully effective and expressive essay.
I am glad you escaped that horrible fate.
Bravo.
warm Regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 05-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much. I think I corrected everything.
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from Diane Griffith
You have put a lot of reserch into this field. It is quite alarming, but it needs to be brought to the attention of people. You have certainly done a GREAT job of doing that.
We all tend to not think about such things because they do not directly affect us lucky ones. But people like you do so much to help by drawing attention to abuseive behaviour.
Well done you!
I found this piece of writing very enlightening, even though quite alarming.
Diane Griffith
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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You have put a lot of reserch into this field. It is quite alarming, but it needs to be brought to the attention of people. You have certainly done a GREAT job of doing that.
We all tend to not think about such things because they do not directly affect us lucky ones. But people like you do so much to help by drawing attention to abuseive behaviour.
Well done you!
I found this piece of writing very enlightening, even though quite alarming.
Diane Griffith
Comment Written 05-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Many thanks, Diane. I am honored by the rating and your kind words. Bless your heart.
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from Mrs Jones
Very complicated indeed. Boggles the mind. What I really don't understand is when one of these women is driven to murder in self defence she usually lands up in prison. Maybe I watch too much C&I. You have done a lot of research on this subject and have written an excellent article.
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Very complicated indeed. Boggles the mind. What I really don't understand is when one of these women is driven to murder in self defence she usually lands up in prison. Maybe I watch too much C&I. You have done a lot of research on this subject and have written an excellent article.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 05-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review. I know what you mean. Life certainly isn't fair.
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You did an excellent job decribing life and the choices abused women have. I like the options you provided. I wonder how many people are willing to listen.
You don't have any money(I think You don't have money, is a stronger statement.)
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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You did an excellent job decribing life and the choices abused women have. I like the options you provided. I wonder how many people are willing to listen.
You don't have any money(I think You don't have money, is a stronger statement.)
Comment Written 04-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much. I agree with you so I changed that sentence.
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from Kentucky Sweet Pea
Wow, Janilou, you're right on time for this Indepence Day. As Martina McBride sang it, this is spot on and I agree with you. I was raised the eldest daughter of a father who sexually, physically and mentally abused her and her younger siblings. The only thing that got me through it was the knowledge that one day I would be old enough to leave forever and to never be abused again. I have never looked back; I am one of those more fortunate women that could see the forest despite the trees. I do not gravitate toward those types of men, nor do they gravitate toward me, however, the price I've paid as an adult and even more as an innocent child has been enormous. I can only imagine what others endure when they cannot break the cycle of abuse due to internal and external devices.
Very, very well-done!
Penny
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Wow, Janilou, you're right on time for this Indepence Day. As Martina McBride sang it, this is spot on and I agree with you. I was raised the eldest daughter of a father who sexually, physically and mentally abused her and her younger siblings. The only thing that got me through it was the knowledge that one day I would be old enough to leave forever and to never be abused again. I have never looked back; I am one of those more fortunate women that could see the forest despite the trees. I do not gravitate toward those types of men, nor do they gravitate toward me, however, the price I've paid as an adult and even more as an innocent child has been enormous. I can only imagine what others endure when they cannot break the cycle of abuse due to internal and external devices.
Very, very well-done!
Penny
Comment Written 04-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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I never thought of that song, but how true! :-) Thanks for the wonderful review. I wish I'd had your common sense and not gotten involved with those types of men, too.
Hugs,
Jani
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Dear Jan,
That's what it (the song) was written about! I love you so much and my heart is yours. You thanked me for my review on my 51st birthday. (Do I look 51?) lol!
Yours forever,
Pen
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Well, Happy Birthday! Even if it's a few days late, and no, I never would have guessed you to be 51!
Hugs,
Jani
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being "old" has its merits! lol! ;) but i won't go there now!!! hehehe...
Comment from patwannabe
Janilou, this deserves higher than a six even. Wonderful, stupendous. I wish this could hit every magazine in circulation. Maybe somebody would hear it. I stayed in a verbal abusive marriage for 57 years, with no way out. By the time I realized it, it was four children too late, for all the reasons you gave. He's been dead for 3 years and I'm free, still recovering, but free. Thank you so much for this post. pat
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Janilou, this deserves higher than a six even. Wonderful, stupendous. I wish this could hit every magazine in circulation. Maybe somebody would hear it. I stayed in a verbal abusive marriage for 57 years, with no way out. By the time I realized it, it was four children too late, for all the reasons you gave. He's been dead for 3 years and I'm free, still recovering, but free. Thank you so much for this post. pat
Comment Written 04-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2009
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Thank you so much, Pat. It is an honor to receive the six stars from you. I am so sorry you suffered for 57 years, but I know how hard it is to break away.
Again, thank you so much for this wonderful, exceptional rating and review.
Hugs,
Jani
