Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

What a touching story this is, Diane. The dialogue is perfect - it demonstrates the bitterness of the abused daughter, weary of a life where she has not felt loved, and the desperation of this adoptive mother to make amends before it is too late - her desire for her daughter to find the peace she never gave her in life. The ending is moving. I hope you do well in the contest with a strong contender. Brooke

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2009

Thank you for the thoughtful, encouraging review, Brooke.

Comment from empire76

Excellent

I need to know the details of that letter! Maybe after the contest you can develop this story in third person.

I really enjoyed your story. It flows really well and held my attention form start to finish.

Good entry for the contest.

Empi

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2009

Thank you, empi, for the sweet review and the suggestion. I will mull it over.

Comment from Cooper Watt

Excellent

Hi there,

Excellent story, my friend. Well crafted and emotionally engrossing. This writing prompt has prompted several different directions. So far yours is one of the best. Good luck!

Sincerely,
Coop.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2009

Thanks so much, Coop. I really appreciate it.

Comment from Deanita

Excellent

I I don't think I want to know
I'm going to die. Of course, in
this case there was something
important that had to be resolved.
Forgiveness.

I found the essay very well written,
no erros, nothing to change. I got
interested from the beginning.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2009

Thank you, Deanita.

Comment from Jonez08

Excellent

What a wonderful and sad story, your dialog was very well done. I hope Katie finds peace in the safe deposit box. Though she's wearing an armour, I can tell she loves her mom. Well done, good luck in the contest

Cassandra

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2009

Thank you, Cassandra, for the great review and the good luck wishes.

Comment from Readywriter52

Excellent

Mother is right in insisting that Katie forgive her. When her mother died, she would have been racked with guilt. I think she was trying make up for being a bad mother.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2009

Thank you, readywriter

Comment from pilarblue

Excellent

Brilliant and superbly written story that I enjoyed very much. I was captured from the start and couldn't stop reading, it was that good. I love the approach, very nice. :) Pilar

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2009

Thank you, Pilar

Comment from Jazh

Excellent

This was a great read - I was really engrossed. You have captured the dysfunctional relationship well. The only suggestion I have is stylistic - maybe putting thoughts in italics to distinguish from text. A very realistic ending. Good luck with the contest. :)

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2009

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2009

Thank you, Jazh. I appreciate the suggestion and I will consider that.

Comment from mslyla216

Excellent

Redrider6612, you have done a marvelous job with this "I'm going to die today" story. You have captured, seemingly effortlessly, the turmoil that happens so, so often between a mother and daughter. The "birth mother" was a tease, making me want to know more, but you ended this perfectly. One would die easier and the other would one day make her peace as well. Good writing. mslyla

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2009

Thank you, mslyla. I appreciate the encouraging review.

Comment from anabelle

Excellent

This is a beautiful story for the contest, about the horrible things we do to our children, never realizing until the end, when it's too late.

I especially liked that the mom was trying to get the daughter to forgive so she wouldn't agonize over it after her mother died.

Beautifully done. Good luck in the contest. Regards, anabelle

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2009

Thank you, anabelle