Comment from Just2Write

Excellent

As you know, Pupa - I really enjoy your Letters to the emotions that make up you. This one is no exception. However, I did think that the rhyme detracted a bit. The poem felt a bit restricted in the confimes of rhyme, and I felt that the same words, loosened by Free Verse might have a weightier feel to them.
Line:
When I was still young at age, [at age] syntax - either
When I was still young. or when I was still young of age.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 05-Jun-2009

Thank you Rose, I appreciate all the help I can get. I am not sure if I understand this, do you mean the poem would have sounded better in free verse?
Thanks again dear friend.
Love
Pupa

reply by Just2Write on 05-Jun-2009

Yes, I think so, Pupa. I think I would give it a better flow. Keep your original, but try a second write without all of the rhymes. I felt like the poem wanted to break out of its restrictions. It has a lot to say to us. Some poems have minds of their own. Rose.

reply by the author on 05-Jun-2009

I am anxious to try your suggestion Rose, and rewrite it as a free verse. Thanks for your help dear friend. Pupa

Comment from Pen&Ink

Excellent

Hello PUPA,

This is a very encouraging poem. Each of us deals with temptations. Merely sitting in church on occasion does not equip one to defend him or herself from the devil's tricks. I guess it's like going to a doctor but just sitting in the waiting room instead going in to see the doctor. You're in the right place, but not quite plugged in yet.

I liked this "letter" poem very much.

Ray

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2009

Thank you so much for such an encouraging review, Ray. I really appreciate it.
Love
Pupa

Comment from Colette

Excellent

You have such a great talent! This is a really wonderful piece and in the form
of a letter I may use that in future. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Colette

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2009

Thank you so much Colette, your enthusiasm touches me.
Love
Pupa

Comment from babylonia

Excellent

pupa,
what a wonderful honor to your faith. beautifully written and perfectly rhymed. the meter is even good. easy to erad and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent.
sometimes we need to be greatful. we may not be where we want to be but we aren't in the darkest places either.
love,
barbara

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2009

Thanks barbara.
Love
Pupa

reply by babylonia on 03-Jun-2009

pupa,
you are very welcome~
love,
barbara

Comment from rmdelta

Excellent

pUPA

this was an excellent letter, my friend. It has everything you need to tell a great story and is a wonderful contest entry. I wish you luck and thanks for sharing

Reggie

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2009

Thanks Reggie, appreciate it.
Love
Pupa

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

This is a clever novel
approach to speak of your
faith, my friend...the whole
piece flowing smoothly, with
excellent rhythm and rhyme.

Good luck with the contest

Margaret.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2009

Thanks Margaret, appreciate it.
Love
Pupa

Comment from boberto

Excellent

Hi there, my dearest friend. Always takes guts to face up, and accept the truth. You sure demonstrate with this "letter" that you indeed have, "guts."AND, I'm sure you have much more to offer.

love,
Rob

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2009

Rob, this is quite a special review, thanks for thinking this way about me. I appreciate it so much.
Love
Pupa

reply by boberto on 03-Jun-2009

If you didn't deserve it, and I did not think that way about you, I would not have written it. Only wish it were another time so I could come over there and tell you that. Take care.
Love,
Rob

Comment from joan marie

Excellent

This is a subject that has been popping up a lot. With everything going on it may be all we have left. Great write and entry. joan marie

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2009

Thanks Joan Marie, appreciate your review.
Love
Pupa

Comment from laurelp

Excellent

You are right, the picture is quite stunning. The poem is quite remarkable as well. It holds forth the truth that you must fight from within and you must do the work.

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2009

Thanks Laurel, appreciate your review.
Love
Pupa

Comment from Judian James

Excellent

I love this presentation Pupa. What a wonderful and inventive form to develop. The rhyming and message are wonderful as well. excellent

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Jun-2009

Thanks Judian, appreciate your review very much.
Love
Pupa