Our Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Against All Odds"Short stories about our family
46 total reviews
Comment from CT Brandon
I think this is wonderfully written. I didnt see the original, but you have a great piece here. I have a 3 year old daughter and I want her to go through life knowing she can do absolutely anything she wants to, without limits. I really enjoyed this.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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I think this is wonderfully written. I didnt see the original, but you have a great piece here. I have a 3 year old daughter and I want her to go through life knowing she can do absolutely anything she wants to, without limits. I really enjoyed this.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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CT Brandon
What I have learned in the last six months is to show the story not tell...It makes the story come alive and actually I hope puts the reader there....Thanks so much for your wonderful review.
Comment from MizKat
BEGIN AGAIN - Your story about your granddaughter is terrific. I'm so glad she showed the boys. This was a very interesting read. I really enjoyed it. Kat
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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BEGIN AGAIN - Your story about your granddaughter is terrific. I'm so glad she showed the boys. This was a very interesting read. I really enjoyed it. Kat
Comment Written 20-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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Kat
Thank you so much...she continued to show them through the years and ended up with a 4 year scholarship because of her determination and the love of the game. Thank you so much. Carol
Comment from dmjones
This could of been my step-daughter's story. She played little league with the boys. I don't know why I didn't review this before when you wrote it.
Should this be?:
No(Not) one of them yelled
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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This could of been my step-daughter's story. She played little league with the boys. I don't know why I didn't review this before when you wrote it.
Should this be?:
No(Not) one of them yelled
Comment Written 20-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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Donna
She won a 4 yr scholarship when she graduated from highschool...She loved the game regardless of whom she was playing with...Thanks for the great review...Happ Holidays...Carol
Comment from RebelRose
our's ... No apostrophe needed. (ours)
Well, I guess she showed them, didn't she? I love it when the 'girls' get a chance to do that to the 'boys'. I know you were proud of her.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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our's ... No apostrophe needed. (ours)
Well, I guess she showed them, didn't she? I love it when the 'girls' get a chance to do that to the 'boys'. I know you were proud of her.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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Rose
Very very proud of her...She loved the game regardless of who she was playing...Thanks for the review. Happy Holidays, Carol
Comment from Mrs Jones
This is a wonderful story Carol. I know nothing about baseball but you described the game so well. What a feisty little girl. I loved reading this.
Good writing
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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This is a wonderful story Carol. I know nothing about baseball but you described the game so well. What a feisty little girl. I loved reading this.
Good writing
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 19-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2009
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Rose,
She loved the game no matter who she was playing..Won a 4 yr college scholarship because of it...Thanks for the great review...Smiles, Carol
Comment from anabellapongasi
Beautiful story, Carol, and very well written. I enjoyed reading it. So this Carissa in the story is really your granddaughter? I thought it was you. You must be very proud of her. You have written quite a lot of stories here, haven't you? And oh BTW, Congratulations for currently being no.1 author for short works! That's a great accomplishment you did in 6 months! I'm so happy for you.
Anabella
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2009
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Beautiful story, Carol, and very well written. I enjoyed reading it. So this Carissa in the story is really your granddaughter? I thought it was you. You must be very proud of her. You have written quite a lot of stories here, haven't you? And oh BTW, Congratulations for currently being no.1 author for short works! That's a great accomplishment you did in 6 months! I'm so happy for you.
Anabella
Comment Written 19-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2009
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Anabella
The last six months have been fantastic..I have been blessed to be able to expand my writing (something I enjoy very much) and to meet some fabulous people..You included! Thank you so much for enjoying Carissa's story...she's a blessing to me....
Happy Holidays, my friend...Carol
Comment from BPL76
I still like reading your work
This this a good story
It flows well
I like reading this
Good Job
BPL ........................................................
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2009
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I still like reading your work
This this a good story
It flows well
I like reading this
Good Job
BPL ........................................................
Comment Written 18-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2009
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BPL
Glad you enjoyed my granddaughter's story...She was fortunate to carry her love of the game on through graduation and won a 4 yr scholarship. Thanks for the kind review. Carol
Comment from pixiemillie
I loved every word of this. You have told the story so well- -a 'frilly--powder puff' girl getting onto the boys' team and showing them what spunk is really like. I found nothing to criticize in this write. It reads very well and written from the experience of your granddaughter. I'm sure she enjoys this and good luck to her ability to stick with something she loved. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2009
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I loved every word of this. You have told the story so well- -a 'frilly--powder puff' girl getting onto the boys' team and showing them what spunk is really like. I found nothing to criticize in this write. It reads very well and written from the experience of your granddaughter. I'm sure she enjoys this and good luck to her ability to stick with something she loved. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2009
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Pixie
Yes...she graduated from high school and earned a 4 yr scholarship because of her love of the game. Thanks for the great review. Carol
Comment from BJean
This is a great story about overcoming the negative thoughts in our minds and that others try to influence us with. Much can happen when we believe that we can. Very well written Carol. I hope you have a wonderful Merry Christmas. Love, Jean
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2009
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This is a great story about overcoming the negative thoughts in our minds and that others try to influence us with. Much can happen when we believe that we can. Very well written Carol. I hope you have a wonderful Merry Christmas. Love, Jean
Comment Written 18-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2009
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Jean
She went on to graduate and earn a 4 yr scholarship...Thanks for the wonderful review. Carol
Comment from wordcrafter
This was well-written story, told in simple language. The author's strength lay in engaging the reader. She successfully held the reader's attention, sustained the tension, and finished the story with an energy that had one cheering. She made the audience care about the character.
The situation and the dialogue were plausible. The author showed, rather than told, the emotions of the girl fighting to pursue her dream, as well as those of the teammates who wanted her to disappear.
There were only a few minor SPAG notations to make:
"I, either, proved I could do it or I let my dream slip away." [The commas are extraneous here.]
"Not only had I hit the one and only home run of the day, but I'd hit a grand slam to win the game, Every snickering and sneering face was gone, replaced by shock, excitement and respect." [There should have been a period after the word game, rather than a comma.]
This is the work of a skilled and talented writer.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2009
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This was well-written story, told in simple language. The author's strength lay in engaging the reader. She successfully held the reader's attention, sustained the tension, and finished the story with an energy that had one cheering. She made the audience care about the character.
The situation and the dialogue were plausible. The author showed, rather than told, the emotions of the girl fighting to pursue her dream, as well as those of the teammates who wanted her to disappear.
There were only a few minor SPAG notations to make:
"I, either, proved I could do it or I let my dream slip away." [The commas are extraneous here.]
"Not only had I hit the one and only home run of the day, but I'd hit a grand slam to win the game, Every snickering and sneering face was gone, replaced by shock, excitement and respect." [There should have been a period after the word game, rather than a comma.]
This is the work of a skilled and talented writer.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2009
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tlang
Thank you so much for enjoying my granddaughter's story...Her determination through the years earned her a 4 yr scholarship...I am thrilled that you enjoyed her story. Carol
