Comment from btru2u66

Excellent

This is so very true. I think you should continue with it because it makes a very good story. I was captivated just with the short story. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-May-2009

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reply by the author on 13-May-2009

Thank you for reading btru. That's the sad part, it could happen. - Thesis

Comment from KYPollard/El Gato

Excellent

Oh, my God, this is so awful on so many different levels. I loved it. Only a hundred words?? Well no more were needed. Good job and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 13-May-2009

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reply by the author on 13-May-2009

Thanks El Gato. I'm glad you had those feelings. That's what I was after in the story. I appreciate your comments. - Thesis

Comment from OldVet

Excellent

Even the police will tell you that DV is their biggest dread. Nice twist!
Suggestions:

The [o]fficer was dispatched [Officer is used as a common noun here, so it should be lower case.]
he felt the blade slit his neck, as she laughed. [The comma is not needed.]

 Comment Written 13-May-2009

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reply by the author on 13-May-2009

Thanks OldVet. I'll edit those catches. - Thanks again. - Thesis

Comment from thorney

Excellent

Hi Thesis. An Ambush! Instead of venting their spleen on each other, the poor officer got it!
Nice stuff for so few words--very imaganative.

Some thing I saw:

The Officer was dispatched to a domestic dispute. - passive
Try:
The Officer's response was to a domestic dispute.

Good luck in the contest.
Regards, pete.

 Comment Written 13-May-2009

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reply by the author on 13-May-2009

Thanks Pete. I'll try that. - Thesis

Comment from MaureenC

Excellent

WOW! WOW!WOW! EXCELLENT! EXCELLENT!
A virtual six coming your way Thesis!!
If only I had one.
A five will have to do.

Ohhh, did I say this short short is simply great?? LOL

You have a great chance in the contest - good luck
Regards
Maureen

 Comment Written 13-May-2009

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reply by the author on 13-May-2009

Thank you Maureen. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. It was suprisingly easy to write this short on. Usually, they are the hardest for me. - Thesis

Comment from creativewriterUK

Excellent

This short but not sweet. Very graphic and eye-opening. I didn't expect such drama, but it was very well executed and described. I hope to read more. It was well written and balanced with dialogue and narrative. Well done. Keith.

 Comment Written 13-May-2009

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reply by the author on 13-May-2009

Thanks for your review Keith. It all came together this time, LOL. - Thesis

reply by creativewriterUK on 13-May-2009

You are very welcome... Keith

Comment from NightWriter

Excellent

"Domestic Dispute" is definitely a short horror story. Gees, what a job. The story is captivating, riveting and suspensefull all at once. We done!!!

 Comment Written 13-May-2009

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reply by the author on 13-May-2009

Thanks Night. It just flowed from my sick mind quickly. - Thesis

Comment from jojosug

Excellent

Domestic incidents are difficult and dangerous, the word love seems to bring out the worst in some. You've managed to say a lot with very few words and it is very well written. A strong contest entry.

Jo

 Comment Written 13-May-2009

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reply by the author on 13-May-2009

Thank you Jo. I enjoyed this contest. It all just seemed to come together and fit the word count, LOL. - Thesis

Comment from Freeflyer

Excellent

Oh, how gruesome is this! Thank God I am not a policeman, if this really does happen. Thank you for enlightening me, I think.
Freeflyer

 Comment Written 12-May-2009

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reply by the author on 13-May-2009

Thanks Freeflyer. They run into all types of issues. It's truly a bizzare job. - Thesis

Comment from Amfunny

Excellent

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.... very nicely done. The hands holding the gun got me. Nice twist. You did a great job in just one hundred words.

 Comment Written 12-May-2009

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reply by the author on 13-May-2009

Thanks am. That's the sound I was looking for, LOL. - Thesis