Romantic Moments
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Your Beauty"Poems of Love and Romance
3 total reviews
Comment from *!*dreamer*!*
I enjoyed the feeling of your poem very much. It was sincere, caring, and truly innocent. I noticed some spags:
Who's beauty comes shinning through--omit one of the "n's" in shining.
As much as yours, shines for me--take out the comma
Reach out to hold me tight,
Taking control of my body and soul--there is a verb tense confusion here. You could write "Reach out to hold me tight...take control of my body and soul."
Although the moonlit night. -- I believe you meant although to be "all through".
Loss in your radiant beauty -- Loss/lost
reply by the author on 02-May-2009
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I enjoyed the feeling of your poem very much. It was sincere, caring, and truly innocent. I noticed some spags:
Who's beauty comes shinning through--omit one of the "n's" in shining.
As much as yours, shines for me--take out the comma
Reach out to hold me tight,
Taking control of my body and soul--there is a verb tense confusion here. You could write "Reach out to hold me tight...take control of my body and soul."
Although the moonlit night. -- I believe you meant although to be "all through".
Loss in your radiant beauty -- Loss/lost
Comment Written 01-May-2009
reply by the author on 02-May-2009
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Hello and thank you for y9our help and corrections there. I wsill admit I am a poor one when it comes to puncuation, that is a very weak spot with me.
I made most of the corrections expect for the word "Taking" I left that like it is, it may be that verb tense confusion as you put it but for me it still sounds right, the other way does not.
Thanks again for everything.
Larry
Comment from Phil Kitom
A beautiful romantic poem that would be exceptional if it where not for what appears to be 2 possible spelling errors
Should these lines begin
All through?
Although the moonlit night.
Than?
Then here, in this moment of time
I offer this a constructive criticism which if correct will allow you to edit the poem. Best wishes to you
reply by the author on 02-May-2009
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A beautiful romantic poem that would be exceptional if it where not for what appears to be 2 possible spelling errors
Should these lines begin
All through?
Although the moonlit night.
Than?
Then here, in this moment of time
I offer this a constructive criticism which if correct will allow you to edit the poem. Best wishes to you
Comment Written 01-May-2009
reply by the author on 02-May-2009
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Thank you so much for your help, the word "Through" has been pointed out already. As far as the Than and Then...Then seems to sound better. but I will change it. Thank you so much.
Larry
Comment from WRITER1
A lovely, and well thought out piece. You are a wonderful
poet. I enjoyed the poem and I hope to see more of your work. Good job.
reply by the author on 01-May-2009
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A lovely, and well thought out piece. You are a wonderful
poet. I enjoyed the poem and I hope to see more of your work. Good job.
Comment Written 01-May-2009
reply by the author on 01-May-2009
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I am new up here within the last couple of weeks so I am not sue how everything works. BUt if you can look me up and go into my portfolio you can read what i have there, I have posted a good handfull so far. A couple have been for contests and such, but please feel free to look them over if you like.
Larry
