Comment from jakuper

Excellent

Human children often need a little fairy magic to help them understand special things.
yes, that's so right.
But,
as the matter of fact, adults need much more magis for understanding special things.
But not you. You understood them and brought to us.
Thanks

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 01-Mar-2009

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my work.

Glad you enjoyed it - sherry

Comment from CameoRenae

Excellent

What a very sweet and enchanting story. I loved how you introduced the fairy, and her magic dust. I could definitely see this in a book. Nicely done!

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on my story.

Glad you liked it - sherry

Comment from Jnetgame

Excellent

Cute children's story. I think children would like this. I only noticed one area you might want to edit:

"Mommy will be mad," she thought... (since it is a thought, remove quotes and change font to italics).

Good luck in the contest. I think this is a great entry.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story. I didn't realize that thoughts should be in italics rather than quotes - I'm still pretty new to fiction, having been writing factual articles instead.

Again - thanks for reading - sherry

Comment from rmdelta

Excellent

sherry, this was an excellent story and a great contest entry, my friend. A strongly written children's story, it will be a good seller, sherry.

Reggie

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 27-Feb-2009

Thanks, Reggie, for taking the time to read and let me know what you thought of my story.

Comment from pilarblue

Excellent

Oh my gosh, what a really charming story! This is very nicely written. I enjoyed it very much and I think children will too. I don't have any suggestions. Good luck in the contest. :)

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story.

So glad you enjoyed it - sherry

Comment from RaymondJohn

Excellent

Great story. I really like your use of detail to pull me into the story. Mojo is funny, and Gracie just too adorable. Good sense of story. It may be a bit too long for a childrens' book chapter, but I may be wrong. Best wishes. Ray.

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009

Evening Ray - Thanks for taking time to read and review my story. Mojo is modeled after one of my foster pups and Gracie is actually Olivia Grace (my granddaughter). Both characters are pretty real to life, except that Mojo doesn't really talk (that I know of!). I actually thought of this as a read-aloud picture book, so I'm not sure about the length either. I'm still pretty new to this type of writing, having been writing factual articles.

Still learning - sherry

Comment from Deejharrington

Excellent

This was an absolutely darling story. It has so many features that would enchant children. Fairies, talking pets, kids would love this story. Good job.

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 Comment Written 26-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009

Thanks for taking the time to read and review my story. I appreciate your kind words. I was thinking of my grand-babies while writing this and was thinking about what they like.

have a great day - sherry

reply by Deejharrington on 26-Feb-2009

You are welcome

Comment from chaswriter

Excellent

sherrygreywolf - A well written story with strong characters and interesting dialogue. I enjoyed it.

Some suggestions:

"Wow(--)this is great!

I'm sorry(--)are you (okay)?"

"Don't stare(--)it's not nice.

Charlie

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2009

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reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009

Evening Charles - thanks for taking the time to read and review my story. I will doing some rewriting later this evening and have noted these errors. Glad you liked the characters and dialogue.

thanks again - sherry