Gracie's Gift
Gracie and Mojo get an unexpected gift.18 total reviews
Comment from Kasey Carroll
An enjoyable children's story. Thank you for sharing it. I liked the different characters entwined in the story. Great job.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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An enjoyable children's story. Thank you for sharing it. I liked the different characters entwined in the story. Great job.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2009
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on my story.
Glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from Terror2s
I see your household has those special made up words too. I think you might have read my gluthog piece. This was very enjoyable. It flowed well and left the reader wondering. Terror
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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I see your household has those special made up words too. I think you might have read my gluthog piece. This was very enjoyable. It flowed well and left the reader wondering. Terror
Comment Written 03-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2009
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my story.
glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from *!*dreamer*!*
I thought this was a cute little story! I enjoyed the simple plot that you weaved expertly into a beautiful little story. Very nice.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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I thought this was a cute little story! I enjoyed the simple plot that you weaved expertly into a beautiful little story. Very nice.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my story.
Glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from LexieMannix
This is imaginative and clearly presented; convincing, too. The tone is great, simple and believable for kids to enjoy. I think the length is probably good and would pan out over a few illustrated pages just nicely. Great imagery with your descriptions, and puppies and adorable children are always successful in entertaining kids. Well done and good luck in the comp.
Lexie
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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This is imaginative and clearly presented; convincing, too. The tone is great, simple and believable for kids to enjoy. I think the length is probably good and would pan out over a few illustrated pages just nicely. Great imagery with your descriptions, and puppies and adorable children are always successful in entertaining kids. Well done and good luck in the comp.
Lexie
Comment Written 02-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Lexie - thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my story. Your words of encouragement mean a lot to me. I have only been writing children's fiction for a couple of months and treasure every positive word.
Glad yu enjoyed it - sherry
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You're more than welc, Sherry. I love to know I've helped to encourage someone, so thanks. I'll even be bold and state that I think you might have found a comfy niche in children's fiction! Nice writing. Cheers.
Lexie
Comment from nora arjuna
hello sherry, i thought this was a great story, hence the five-stars. i uploaded this last night and fell asleep. maybe you got these few things fixed by now. nothing major, plus a couple of suggestions:
The sun streamed through her window and she listened for sounds [that] would tell her [that] her mother was awake and fixing breakfast.
-at times 'that' can be left out or minimised its usage in a sentence. maybe try to re-construct.
She hit the ground[,] rolling and [pulling] the dog along with her.
His mouth was [opened] in that doggie-grin puppies [had] when they [were] especially happy.
"I sure do wish [that] you could talk, Mojo." - don't need it
I've never [seen] a dog that could talk before!
Gracie or Mojo both blinked and [stared] at the little creature
"I know, I know[ ]. I've heard her tell you that when we're at the park[,]" Mojo answered impatiently.
And I'm her [favoritist] puppy - suggest to put this in italic as it's not a correct word.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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hello sherry, i thought this was a great story, hence the five-stars. i uploaded this last night and fell asleep. maybe you got these few things fixed by now. nothing major, plus a couple of suggestions:
The sun streamed through her window and she listened for sounds [that] would tell her [that] her mother was awake and fixing breakfast.
-at times 'that' can be left out or minimised its usage in a sentence. maybe try to re-construct.
She hit the ground[,] rolling and [pulling] the dog along with her.
His mouth was [opened] in that doggie-grin puppies [had] when they [were] especially happy.
"I sure do wish [that] you could talk, Mojo." - don't need it
I've never [seen] a dog that could talk before!
Gracie or Mojo both blinked and [stared] at the little creature
"I know, I know[ ]. I've heard her tell you that when we're at the park[,]" Mojo answered impatiently.
And I'm her [favoritist] puppy - suggest to put this in italic as it's not a correct word.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Evening Nora - Hope you're well. Thanks for taking the time to read my story and also for your great comments. Can't believe some of the typos and totally stupid errors. You're the only one to catch (or at least to comment) them so far. I do appreciate it. Most of the list I have acted upon, though I did not change a couple of the things you mentioned. I left the word "seed" instead of seen and favoritist in the story. The speech is that of a preschooler and her dog and I felt those two things fit well. I did, however, explain the word "favoritist" in my author's notes.
hugs to you, my friend - sherry
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you're welcome, sherry. I didn't realise about 'seed/seen', thought that was a typo. as for the other word, I didn't suggest you to change, just to put in italics or within quotes, to show it's deliberately used. yes, a note would help too. good luck again.
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just checked the booth, and you're doing well up there. :)
Comment from *erin*
This was a cute story, and I enjoyed it. I liked how you left it open-ended so that you could continue it if you wanted, but it's also a good place to leave off. No errors that I saw. Good job.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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This was a cute story, and I enjoyed it. I liked how you left it open-ended so that you could continue it if you wanted, but it's also a good place to leave off. No errors that I saw. Good job.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Evening Erin - thank you for taking the time to read and review my work.
Glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is very beautiful. It will be particularly fascinating to children, but i really enjoyed it. I guess fairy tales awaken the child in all of us. You did it well. kudos
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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This is very beautiful. It will be particularly fascinating to children, but i really enjoyed it. I guess fairy tales awaken the child in all of us. You did it well. kudos
Comment Written 02-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review my story.
So glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from DeboraDyess
This is awesome! Fixed the redundancies, painted a great picture of the threesome and even found a picture that works. You've got this one in the bag! Congratz, sis
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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This is awesome! Fixed the redundancies, painted a great picture of the threesome and even found a picture that works. You've got this one in the bag! Congratz, sis
Comment Written 02-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Thanks Deb. Had someone else point out a couple of things that I need to go in and fix/tighten up before it gets submitted anywhere else, but I'm pretty happy with it.
luv ya - sherry
Comment from adewpearl
Sherry, This is a fantastic story - I absolutely love the concept of a fairy that grants this little girl and her best pal dog the ability to talk to each other all morning long until lunchtime. I love that both the dog and the girl are blown away by this and the love they have for each other. All three characters are delightful and the situation is priceless - children should be spellbound. Brooke
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Sherry, This is a fantastic story - I absolutely love the concept of a fairy that grants this little girl and her best pal dog the ability to talk to each other all morning long until lunchtime. I love that both the dog and the girl are blown away by this and the love they have for each other. All three characters are delightful and the situation is priceless - children should be spellbound. Brooke
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Evening Brooke - I'm so glad you enjoyed this little story. I had a good time writing it, though it still isn't quite what I had envisioned when I started.
Thanks again for the compliments - sherry
Comment from Writeaway...
I very much enjoyed this piece of work, I understand why you have many votes all ready. Good luck in my compettion. Have a good day.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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I very much enjoyed this piece of work, I understand why you have many votes all ready. Good luck in my compettion. Have a good day.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2009
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2009
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Thanks so much for hosting this competition and for reading and complimenting my story. I'm hoping to see my grandbabies next weekend and read it to them.
have a great evening - sherry
