I'm Not the Woman (EEE's version)
A little self-introspection39 total reviews
Comment from Arkine
I thought this was a great poem, I don't understand all the lines or any of that poetry stuff. It's okay though because it was easy to catch all the meanings. It may not look exactly like you had it written but it's still good.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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I thought this was a great poem, I don't understand all the lines or any of that poetry stuff. It's okay though because it was easy to catch all the meanings. It may not look exactly like you had it written but it's still good.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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thanks, Arkine. I appreciate your input. love, jan
Comment from FredCollingwood
I think I'm in love. You're the perfect woman, and if the bloke doesn't cut you some slack, no worries. He's not good enough for you anyway.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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I think I'm in love. You're the perfect woman, and if the bloke doesn't cut you some slack, no worries. He's not good enough for you anyway.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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whoa, Nic. We've been married 35 years and he puts up with a lot of junk sometimes. LOL. love, jan
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35 years? Me too--36 in May. I honor you!
Comment from tony bronk
admttedly, I am a bit confused by this poem of yours. Maybe it is because I don't know you all that well and, some of your comments seemd to be aimed at people who do. Otherwise I find it to be a very clever and insightful poem to read. tony
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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admttedly, I am a bit confused by this poem of yours. Maybe it is because I don't know you all that well and, some of your comments seemd to be aimed at people who do. Otherwise I find it to be a very clever and insightful poem to read. tony
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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tony, it was definitely aimed at folks who know me fairly well. thanks for your input. love, jan
Comment from JoAnna Lee
I would have loved to seen this as you wanted to present it... but this works. This is wonderfully done! You have a lot to say and you say it well. Not a victim,,, a surviver and a winner.
Thanks for sharing,
Donna
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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I would have loved to seen this as you wanted to present it... but this works. This is wonderfully done! You have a lot to say and you say it well. Not a victim,,, a surviver and a winner.
Thanks for sharing,
Donna
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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thanks, Donna. if you have email, I'll try to send it to you as an attachment in its original form. jan
Comment from artsygal
I can't quite tell if this is addressed to a daughter or a former partner or perhaps both. However, it moved me throughout, regardless. It expresses a reaction to the pressures women of the baby boom often feel throughout life, to somehow measure up to the Susie Homemaker model of the 1950s. We just can't be all things to all people, and so, at the end of the poem you find yourself satisfied with where you are and with who you've been all along. Having that independence of thought takes courage and many years of work, but it is SO worth it. I loved how you took the white trash label and turned it into a triumph; what a great way to remodel your inner negative messages with positive ones. You've not just written a great poem, you've explored the meanings of womanhood and motherhood and educated us about how to live more self-assuredly as women. I'm glad and delighted not at the woman people thought you'd be, but at the person you have become and who you are becoming.
Great job and very thought-provoking. I'm inspired.
Hugs
artsygal
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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I can't quite tell if this is addressed to a daughter or a former partner or perhaps both. However, it moved me throughout, regardless. It expresses a reaction to the pressures women of the baby boom often feel throughout life, to somehow measure up to the Susie Homemaker model of the 1950s. We just can't be all things to all people, and so, at the end of the poem you find yourself satisfied with where you are and with who you've been all along. Having that independence of thought takes courage and many years of work, but it is SO worth it. I loved how you took the white trash label and turned it into a triumph; what a great way to remodel your inner negative messages with positive ones. You've not just written a great poem, you've explored the meanings of womanhood and motherhood and educated us about how to live more self-assuredly as women. I'm glad and delighted not at the woman people thought you'd be, but at the person you have become and who you are becoming.
Great job and very thought-provoking. I'm inspired.
Hugs
artsygal
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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thanks, again, artsygal. love, jan
Comment from TimidView
The picture accompanying this poem is incredible and appropriate. I think you did an awesome job of describing someone who 'fought back' against stereo-types and low expectations. I don't even know you but I'm proud of you.
My personal taste would have the last line be:
"I'm going where the Lord leads me"
And I have no better reason to suggest this than it popped into my head during the second read through.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2008
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The picture accompanying this poem is incredible and appropriate. I think you did an awesome job of describing someone who 'fought back' against stereo-types and low expectations. I don't even know you but I'm proud of you.
My personal taste would have the last line be:
"I'm going where the Lord leads me"
And I have no better reason to suggest this than it popped into my head during the second read through.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2008
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sctually, TimidView, I think I like that last line, too. I'm going to give it a shot. Thanks for your input. I use a lot of Carolisa's work because I find her work so intriguing. love, jan
Comment from Terror2s
The repetition worked very well in this. I know the format didn't quite work out the way you wanted, but it was still intresting and the content of the poem was terrific. very enjoyable. Terror
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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2008
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The repetition worked very well in this. I know the format didn't quite work out the way you wanted, but it was still intresting and the content of the poem was terrific. very enjoyable. Terror
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Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2008
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thanks, Terror. this was quite different for me. love, jan
Comment from Lady & Louis
Well, EE or no EE, this has come out perfectly. Yes, I know it's not the layout you intended; but the words work without need of the different layouts - possibly it's stronger for that, for there's no distraction from the content. (I know that argument could be used against any decorative effect, but that's not at all what I'm saying.)
This is written with such clarity - it's almost stark, and has all the quality I like best in your free verse. The acrostic in the middle works very well, too. It's a fine poem and yes, Wiva Red Bird was quite right to tell you to post it!
Love,
Louise
PS Can't do a longer review as I'd like, I'm at work and swamped - grr!
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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Well, EE or no EE, this has come out perfectly. Yes, I know it's not the layout you intended; but the words work without need of the different layouts - possibly it's stronger for that, for there's no distraction from the content. (I know that argument could be used against any decorative effect, but that's not at all what I'm saying.)
This is written with such clarity - it's almost stark, and has all the quality I like best in your free verse. The acrostic in the middle works very well, too. It's a fine poem and yes, Wiva Red Bird was quite right to tell you to post it!
Love,
Louise
PS Can't do a longer review as I'd like, I'm at work and swamped - grr!
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2008
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thanks, Louise, once again. WIVA Red Bird is quite pleased with herself right now. love, jan
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LOL she should be - and so should you, for having written this quality piece!
Comment from babylonia
jan,
its good to see you back. made me smile. made me giggle. LOL easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. stanzas are well written. yeah, my favorite line ... I'm not the woman you thought I'd be ... theme song to my hubby. i just don't give him everything he wants or kiss his ass. oh well.
keep up the good work~
love,
barbara
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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2008
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jan,
its good to see you back. made me smile. made me giggle. LOL easy to read and follow. no spaggies do i see. imagery is excellent. stanzas are well written. yeah, my favorite line ... I'm not the woman you thought I'd be ... theme song to my hubby. i just don't give him everything he wants or kiss his ass. oh well.
keep up the good work~
love,
barbara
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2008
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where is it written we have to kiss anyone's ass, eh? Such is life, right. I suppose this is a little in your face when it's all said and done. love, jan
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jan,
actually, i think it is the right amount. but that's just me. nowhere is it written i have to kiss anyone's ass. if that is necessary to be married, count me out. i'll stay single.
love,
barbara
