The Enchanted Toyshelf
a modern sonnet about fairies at bedtime90 total reviews
Comment from jack silver
when i was in hospital awhile back. recovering from being shot. an old friend came to see me and held my hand into the night. she talked to me. told me where i was and how i got there. she told me that i was going to get better. she told me that when i opened my eyes and could walk talk and move that then i was allowed to grieve.
my sister and little niece had died at the seen of a man who wanted money and since i had none. he asked the others. i don't want to go into the rest...
anyway the girl my childhood friend stayed with me and has continued to be with me. even through the reuniting of me and my real dad, his wife Sara and their two sons and daughters who i have come to love and care about.
that girl who helped me through my pain is named Clara. and you know what she just this year asked me out and i said yes and our relationship looks to be a strong one. i hope it lasts.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2009
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when i was in hospital awhile back. recovering from being shot. an old friend came to see me and held my hand into the night. she talked to me. told me where i was and how i got there. she told me that i was going to get better. she told me that when i opened my eyes and could walk talk and move that then i was allowed to grieve.
my sister and little niece had died at the seen of a man who wanted money and since i had none. he asked the others. i don't want to go into the rest...
anyway the girl my childhood friend stayed with me and has continued to be with me. even through the reuniting of me and my real dad, his wife Sara and their two sons and daughters who i have come to love and care about.
that girl who helped me through my pain is named Clara. and you know what she just this year asked me out and i said yes and our relationship looks to be a strong one. i hope it lasts.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2009
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what a great love story - sometimes something good can come from something tragic, and your story proves that. I am so sorry to hear of your tragic loss, but do hope love blossoms and lasts for you forever, Brooke
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i hope so too
Comment from Nicnac
Aww... This is a sweet and soft flowing lullaby.
The photo and colors you used, add to it's warmth.
"When my baby doll can't sleep through the night,
when teddy bear wakes in dark shadow fears,
if the jack-in-the-box gives us all a fright,
we look for the fairy who's always near." - Brilliant verses. Paints a picture of a child's world.
Fabulous.
~Nic
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2008
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Aww... This is a sweet and soft flowing lullaby.
The photo and colors you used, add to it's warmth.
"When my baby doll can't sleep through the night,
when teddy bear wakes in dark shadow fears,
if the jack-in-the-box gives us all a fright,
we look for the fairy who's always near." - Brilliant verses. Paints a picture of a child's world.
Fabulous.
~Nic
Comment Written 14-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2008
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Nic, thank you - I rather like this one myself! LOL Brooke
Comment from Oatmeal
ADEWPEARL,
I liked this one very much. The artwork you chose compliments your words. Well chosen words and colorful arrangement, good dialect and very well decorated thoughts.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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ADEWPEARL,
I liked this one very much. The artwork you chose compliments your words. Well chosen words and colorful arrangement, good dialect and very well decorated thoughts.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Oatmeal, thank you so very much! Brooke
Comment from bard owl
When I was small, I wanted so badly for fairies and toys to be real, living creatures. The thought that fairies lived in my garden and my toys came to life when humans drifted into sleep fascinated me. Excellent imagery in this one. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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When I was small, I wanted so badly for fairies and toys to be real, living creatures. The thought that fairies lived in my garden and my toys came to life when humans drifted into sleep fascinated me. Excellent imagery in this one. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Linda, thank you so much - you shared that fantasy with many a child - I love that about poetry - so much of what we think and feel is felt by so many others. Brooke
Comment from davidray
One of the greatest acts and joys in this world that we should all be able to experience, is comforting a child.
nice work, Brooke. :)
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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One of the greatest acts and joys in this world that we should all be able to experience, is comforting a child.
nice work, Brooke. :)
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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What a sweet thing to say - thank you for saying something kind just when I needed it, Brooke
Comment from grassroots08
I'm a-0k with this. This was a charming piece to read. You have quite the vivid imagination, and I enjoyed reading this. Don
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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I'm a-0k with this. This was a charming piece to read. You have quite the vivid imagination, and I enjoyed reading this. Don
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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Don, thanks so much, Brooke!
Comment from Jo52800
What can I say. This is darn near perfect. Great job. The poem invokes the innocence of childhood and the "creatures" of our nostalgia.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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What can I say. This is darn near perfect. Great job. The poem invokes the innocence of childhood and the "creatures" of our nostalgia.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2008
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thanks so very much - you are most kind - I am proud of this one, so am very glad you like it too, my generous friend! Brooke
Comment from Caitlin
Lovely Sonnet - It appears to be in the Shakespearian form with the signature rhyme scheme of ababcdcdefefgg, and is mostly in iambic pentametre - although like 3 has 11 syllables and lines 10 and 12 have 9 syllables. Perhaps you were endeavouring to draw particular attention to those lines. I get the impression that the fairy is either a guardian angel, or perhaps a nightlight (or maybe both with the ambiguity intentional :). Excellent imagery, and slightly unconventional in the form of love (normally courtly love for the sonnet, but here it is all innocence and childlike, which is a good adaptation!) I found that the first 3 quatrains discuss the environment and the describes the fairy's presence with the concluding couplet discussing the overall effects of the fairy's presence. Great work!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Lovely Sonnet - It appears to be in the Shakespearian form with the signature rhyme scheme of ababcdcdefefgg, and is mostly in iambic pentametre - although like 3 has 11 syllables and lines 10 and 12 have 9 syllables. Perhaps you were endeavouring to draw particular attention to those lines. I get the impression that the fairy is either a guardian angel, or perhaps a nightlight (or maybe both with the ambiguity intentional :). Excellent imagery, and slightly unconventional in the form of love (normally courtly love for the sonnet, but here it is all innocence and childlike, which is a good adaptation!) I found that the first 3 quatrains discuss the environment and the describes the fairy's presence with the concluding couplet discussing the overall effects of the fairy's presence. Great work!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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not a nightlight or an angel -the fairy is a fairy LOL I call it a modern sonnet as modern sonnets do not demand strict adherence to iambic pentameter - a good definition is found in the author's notes of Hurricane Dean's sonnet posts. Thanks so much for your most thoughtful and detailed review, Brooke
Comment from peggysis64
Brooke,
A beautifully written sonnet. I have always believed that a fairy hung out in my bedroom to keep me safe, and I still believe. Well written with vivid imagery, nice rhyme and rhythm, a very enjoyable read. k
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Brooke,
A beautifully written sonnet. I have always believed that a fairy hung out in my bedroom to keep me safe, and I still believe. Well written with vivid imagery, nice rhyme and rhythm, a very enjoyable read. k
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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What a nice thing to share with me - thank you for your graciousness, Brooke :-)
Comment from Poetic Friend
Ah, this is just precious and so eloquently written.
Many children believe in fairies, seeeing them as symbols of hope.
I absolutey love the topics that you choose to write about. They are so relatable as one progresses through every day life.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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Ah, this is just precious and so eloquently written.
Many children believe in fairies, seeeing them as symbols of hope.
I absolutey love the topics that you choose to write about. They are so relatable as one progresses through every day life.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2008
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what a lovely thing for you to say - I always strive to write about things others will somehow connect with, so your saying this is so encouraging! Thank you, Brooke
