The Sonnet Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Ashes of Lost Hope"a poetic collage of my sonnets
109 total reviews
Comment from Gramma Kathy
This is terribly sad, and oh, so lovely. You have written a terrific example of Sperserian Sonnet poetry, and I am impressed. I appreciate the lesson!
I feel the pain in your closing lines:
"Oh unrequited love, so wide your breadth!
And sharp the quill that pierced my very depth."
Beautiful!
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This is terribly sad, and oh, so lovely. You have written a terrific example of Sperserian Sonnet poetry, and I am impressed. I appreciate the lesson!
I feel the pain in your closing lines:
"Oh unrequited love, so wide your breadth!
And sharp the quill that pierced my very depth."
Beautiful!
Comment Written 09-Dec-2008
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is a first-rate
piece of verse, cleverly thought
out. It has a smooth flow to the
words, and to both rhythm and rhyme.
Complemented with a superb picture.
Good luck with the contest - you have
a great entry.
Regards,
Margaret.
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This is a first-rate
piece of verse, cleverly thought
out. It has a smooth flow to the
words, and to both rhythm and rhyme.
Complemented with a superb picture.
Good luck with the contest - you have
a great entry.
Regards,
Margaret.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2008
Comment from jshep
This is a dynamite poem and presentation. Wow! A story told extremely well of words penned with a sharpened quill of pain. ~Beautiful. Especially loved the couplet.
One sentence I found to be off in meter: Suddenly gone, all I thought was real. - might suggest: All was gone of what I thought was real.
Excellent job and top contender. Are giving us all a run for our money. Joyce
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This is a dynamite poem and presentation. Wow! A story told extremely well of words penned with a sharpened quill of pain. ~Beautiful. Especially loved the couplet.
One sentence I found to be off in meter: Suddenly gone, all I thought was real. - might suggest: All was gone of what I thought was real.
Excellent job and top contender. Are giving us all a run for our money. Joyce
Comment Written 09-Dec-2008
Comment from minopavlic
Your words,which touch the inner sanctuary of your soul jump off the page at me with strength and great courage.
It's only true then,in understanding our deepest struggles through life,that we are able to move forward in a positive direction. I've really enjoyed reading your poem,for not only is there a gracefulness in your words,they command strength of longing and desire.In writing this you have exposed the beauty within your heart.
I appreciate the intensity of your words
No_obstacle
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Your words,which touch the inner sanctuary of your soul jump off the page at me with strength and great courage.
It's only true then,in understanding our deepest struggles through life,that we are able to move forward in a positive direction. I've really enjoyed reading your poem,for not only is there a gracefulness in your words,they command strength of longing and desire.In writing this you have exposed the beauty within your heart.
I appreciate the intensity of your words
No_obstacle
Comment Written 09-Dec-2008
Comment from The Guardian
Yeltel
I just love this sonnet. Funny, this sonnet can apply to internet relationships and the relationship between Cyrano de Bergerac and Roxanne as well. The issue of unrequited love is timeless. I'm not familiar with the Spenserian Sonnet, but the way you've pulled it off, it's quite lovely.
Well done.
Merle
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Yeltel
I just love this sonnet. Funny, this sonnet can apply to internet relationships and the relationship between Cyrano de Bergerac and Roxanne as well. The issue of unrequited love is timeless. I'm not familiar with the Spenserian Sonnet, but the way you've pulled it off, it's quite lovely.
Well done.
Merle
Comment Written 09-Dec-2008
Comment from phild
You opened this up with a beautiful title. It brought to mind many images. The writing was excellent. The word "eloquent" comes to mind to describe it. It was full of emotion that I could feel as I read it. Truly an enjoyable work to read. Great job.
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You opened this up with a beautiful title. It brought to mind many images. The writing was excellent. The word "eloquent" comes to mind to describe it. It was full of emotion that I could feel as I read it. Truly an enjoyable work to read. Great job.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2008
Comment from jenelleish
Great words, sense, style and imagery. I really enjoyed reading this poem. It expresses too much passion and pain. You did a very good job with this sonnet.
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Great words, sense, style and imagery. I really enjoyed reading this poem. It expresses too much passion and pain. You did a very good job with this sonnet.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2008
Comment from Judian James
I have always felt IF the poem is written well, the final weight of the piece is left to the reader! Metered perfectly or not ... who cares? This is a brilliant piece deserving of a six without question. It either reads well or it doesn't. I hate finger counting foolishness. Extraordinary take on unrequited love ... very different and true. I loved everything about this piece. Just, well ... exceptional!
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I have always felt IF the poem is written well, the final weight of the piece is left to the reader! Metered perfectly or not ... who cares? This is a brilliant piece deserving of a six without question. It either reads well or it doesn't. I hate finger counting foolishness. Extraordinary take on unrequited love ... very different and true. I loved everything about this piece. Just, well ... exceptional!
Comment Written 09-Dec-2008
Comment from Cooper Watt
Great poem yeltel. I am always so very impressed with the work of a poet. I love to write, but poetry seems so, I don't know, difficult...
This piece of work is clearly passionate and heartfelt.
Well done,
Coop.
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Great poem yeltel. I am always so very impressed with the work of a poet. I love to write, but poetry seems so, I don't know, difficult...
This piece of work is clearly passionate and heartfelt.
Well done,
Coop.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2008
Comment from Domino
Hi, Yelena
Just one line seems to lack meter, with respect, to me;
'SUDD-en-LY gone, all that I thought was real.' - EMPHASIS SEEMS ON FIRST SYLLABLE INSTEAD OF SECOND. Maybe;
'Twas-THERE-no-MORE, all that I thought was real' ??
Apart from that, I thoroughly enjoyed this excellent write.
It's all terrific, and the second stanza is my favourite. In particular;
'Was I not scorched by heat? Your verse was fire!' - GREAT
Terrific couplet, also. Very original idea in that the lady is fooled by the writer's words, and not his actions.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray xx
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Hi, Yelena
Just one line seems to lack meter, with respect, to me;
'SUDD-en-LY gone, all that I thought was real.' - EMPHASIS SEEMS ON FIRST SYLLABLE INSTEAD OF SECOND. Maybe;
'Twas-THERE-no-MORE, all that I thought was real' ??
Apart from that, I thoroughly enjoyed this excellent write.
It's all terrific, and the second stanza is my favourite. In particular;
'Was I not scorched by heat? Your verse was fire!' - GREAT
Terrific couplet, also. Very original idea in that the lady is fooled by the writer's words, and not his actions.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 09-Dec-2008
