The Sonnet Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Red Rose"a poetic collage of my sonnets
175 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Wow, yeltel, a Seal of Quality. I believe that's the first time I have seen that since I have been of FS since last March.
I do, however, see how this magnificently well penned piece of poesy garnered such merit. It's very alluring in it's subliminally poignant message, alliteration is fantastic, with phrases such as, "virgin velvet" and "red rose divine."
Wonderfully presented, a most excellent write...
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Wow, yeltel, a Seal of Quality. I believe that's the first time I have seen that since I have been of FS since last March.
I do, however, see how this magnificently well penned piece of poesy garnered such merit. It's very alluring in it's subliminally poignant message, alliteration is fantastic, with phrases such as, "virgin velvet" and "red rose divine."
Wonderfully presented, a most excellent write...
Comment Written 22-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Dean, for your superb review and comment. Yes, this collection was honored by the Seal. I am so glad you enjoyed my piece. The beauty of a red rose will go on forever, will it not?
Comment from FrannyG
This has some really lovely lines in it like 'your petals are still beautiful at dawn', and you've handled the sonnet form well. However, it does have some cliches which weaken it, like 'timeless reverie' and 'mystic charm'; and the word 'spree' jars a bit as it doesn't seem to fit the tone of the poem or with a rose. The opening line is great as it your final couplet. Well worth working to remove those cliches which will strengthen the poem enormously. But well done,
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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This has some really lovely lines in it like 'your petals are still beautiful at dawn', and you've handled the sonnet form well. However, it does have some cliches which weaken it, like 'timeless reverie' and 'mystic charm'; and the word 'spree' jars a bit as it doesn't seem to fit the tone of the poem or with a rose. The opening line is great as it your final couplet. Well worth working to remove those cliches which will strengthen the poem enormously. But well done,
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Franny, for your review and feedback. I will take it under advisement.
Comment from michaelcahill
beautiful from beginning to end. there were some real standout phrases for me. "forever thorns" I just adore that phrase right there. I don't recall ever reading anything even similar to it. wonderfully original and thought provoking. also, "earthly spree" makes me think of a perfect rose in such more human terms as a young, perhaps, teen rapidly growing. it is that word spree though that triggers it much more strongly then it usually does. finally, "discarded youth" discarded is unique as well. as though it were on purpose. interesting. there is something about your writing that has more insight then I normally see in even the best sonnets. I rarely do more than appreciate the lovely wording and craftsmanship. I really ponder this piece. a surprising treat. wonderful. I will save a six for you for the near future that should have been here. regards, mike
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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beautiful from beginning to end. there were some real standout phrases for me. "forever thorns" I just adore that phrase right there. I don't recall ever reading anything even similar to it. wonderfully original and thought provoking. also, "earthly spree" makes me think of a perfect rose in such more human terms as a young, perhaps, teen rapidly growing. it is that word spree though that triggers it much more strongly then it usually does. finally, "discarded youth" discarded is unique as well. as though it were on purpose. interesting. there is something about your writing that has more insight then I normally see in even the best sonnets. I rarely do more than appreciate the lovely wording and craftsmanship. I really ponder this piece. a surprising treat. wonderful. I will save a six for you for the near future that should have been here. regards, mike
Comment Written 22-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Mike, for your superlative review and the virtual six. I am highly honored and flattered by your words; they are a reward of any poet. I find the beauty of a red rose so moving; it inspired poets for centuries; and has its own mystique and sorcery, like the Moon. (That is another enchantress I love to write about). I am glad you found a special insight in my sonnets - feel free to browse this collection (there is a link at the end of this poem to more sonnets).
You really made my day.
Love and light, Y.
Comment from pickthorn
A lovely sonnet describing the essence of the beautiful red rose. The words are very charming and flow smoothly. The rhyming scheme is top notch. Best description: Flawless.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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A lovely sonnet describing the essence of the beautiful red rose. The words are very charming and flow smoothly. The rhyming scheme is top notch. Best description: Flawless.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much for the great review.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This IS a very beautiful sonnet. Perfect in every way. I can see why it earned the seal of quality.Very well done. The picture is lovely as well. Nancy
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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This IS a very beautiful sonnet. Perfect in every way. I can see why it earned the seal of quality.Very well done. The picture is lovely as well. Nancy
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much for the great review.
Love, Y.
Comment from Domino 2
Hi, Yenena.
I'm afraid I'm not allowed another sixer this week - I must have been very generous by MY standards, but this top sonnet is definitely worth one.
Wonderful rhymes and meter throughout.
Inspired alliteration in 'virgin velvet'.
Top 4th line to denote beauty doesn't last forever.
Brilliant 8th line to denote the rose's demise.
Maybe, 'as DID discarded youth', but that's a minor nit-pick which adds 'd' alliteration and to avoid being TOO personal, though your top personification of the rose deserves 'personal'. :-)
Wonderful last line.
Bravo!
Cheers, Ted
PS - congrats on beating me in the sonnet challenge. GRRR! Haha! x
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Hi, Yenena.
I'm afraid I'm not allowed another sixer this week - I must have been very generous by MY standards, but this top sonnet is definitely worth one.
Wonderful rhymes and meter throughout.
Inspired alliteration in 'virgin velvet'.
Top 4th line to denote beauty doesn't last forever.
Brilliant 8th line to denote the rose's demise.
Maybe, 'as DID discarded youth', but that's a minor nit-pick which adds 'd' alliteration and to avoid being TOO personal, though your top personification of the rose deserves 'personal'. :-)
Wonderful last line.
Bravo!
Cheers, Ted
PS - congrats on beating me in the sonnet challenge. GRRR! Haha! x
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Ted,
Your review moved me to tears. Just like the beauty of a red rose always moves me to tears.
I must have reached some heights in sonnet writing, if a sonneteer of your level things my work as that good. I confess, I work like ten underpaid slaves on my poetry (lol); but I think, the goddess deserves it. What you see took seven years of labor. I am so glad the hard work paid off.
As far as me winning at a contest, you are the one who collect all the roses at a bull fight (lol) - you won about 10 contests in less than two months, and more coming - give a girl a break, will you? smile.
Thank you from the bottom of my hears for this priceless review -it is a reward of any poet. My Seal collection originally was 16 sonnets, but after a first rejection and the feedback which included a suggestion to weed out some, I made it 11. I love re-reading it, I am such a romantic, am I not?
Love and smiles, Yelena
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Thanks for your very gracious and moving reply, Yelena.
You are indeed a romantic.
I could never have your commendable patience in getting your writing just right. I think I told you before, if I can't complete a write in about an hour or les (haiku/senryu in 15 minutes LOL) then I get frustrated and move onto something else.
I meant every word of praise - definitely one of your best.
I was very happy to see you win the challenge with your top-notch entry, as you're quite right - I've been lucky enough to win more than my fair share of contests.
Love, Ted xx
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Yes, I remember you writing a Crown in less than 8 hours - and it won!
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I think I was very lucky there (shared the win with Joyce), and I chose quite an easy topic of the 'seven deadly sins'.
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Where IS Joyce? She changed her membership to standard and vanished from site.
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I emailed her a short time ago. She's still fighting on though said she would reply in more detail soon.
Comment from kiwijenny
This is so good ..I haven't seen a seal of quality before. What does that mean?
Red rose, your wisdom will transcend the Time.............
All wrapped in passion, clover sage and rhyme........beautiful lines
God bless
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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This is so good ..I haven't seen a seal of quality before. What does that mean?
Red rose, your wisdom will transcend the Time.............
All wrapped in passion, clover sage and rhyme........beautiful lines
God bless
Comment Written 19-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Thanks for the good review, Jenny. You can look up the site's Q&A and read about Seal of Quality. They explain it better than I would.
Comment from denhagan
This is a beautiful English sonnet poem, written in iambic pentameter with great rhythm and rhyming throughout the poem, about the red rose. Nice picture.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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This is a beautiful English sonnet poem, written in iambic pentameter with great rhythm and rhyming throughout the poem, about the red rose. Nice picture.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much for the great review. Love and hugs, Y.
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You're welcome Y. Thanks for your suggestion on my Life poem--for using the word, "every". I took your advice and changed it, Love and hugs
Dennis
Comment from emjaihammond
I'm happy I happened to see this one as I was reviewing one and the another. It is simply beautiful. The last verse
really is my favorite, I think. "Red rose, your wisdom will transcend the time. All wrapped in passion, clover, sage and rhyme
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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I'm happy I happened to see this one as I was reviewing one and the another. It is simply beautiful. The last verse
really is my favorite, I think. "Red rose, your wisdom will transcend the time. All wrapped in passion, clover, sage and rhyme
Comment Written 19-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review. Yes, those lines are favorites with me also.
Comment from Galactia
Splendid poem once again.
Favourite stanza is....
our charming eloquence beseeched my soul,
The virgin velvet spelled unbroken vow;
Your incandescent glamour took me whole
And ever graceful was your silent bow.
confused on end line....
All wrapped in passion, clover, sage and rhyme.
was it meant to be rhyme or thyme?
great job
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
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Splendid poem once again.
Favourite stanza is....
our charming eloquence beseeched my soul,
The virgin velvet spelled unbroken vow;
Your incandescent glamour took me whole
And ever graceful was your silent bow.
confused on end line....
All wrapped in passion, clover, sage and rhyme.
was it meant to be rhyme or thyme?
great job
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 19-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the splendid review and rating, Tia. Oh yes, I love a red rose, it symbolises love and passion. I did mean "rhyme" in the end - we have a metaphoric mixture of "passion, clover, sage and - rhyme" (lol). I truly poetic concoction.
