Minor Details in the life of ZeeZee
ZeeZee ends up in a cheezy state.19 total reviews
Comment from IndianaIrish
WOW!! I really really liked this one, Zee! You are absolutely a delight to read and I love ZeeZee and her wonderful adventures. No slicing needed here.
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2008
  |
WOW!! I really really liked this one, Zee! You are absolutely a delight to read and I love ZeeZee and her wonderful adventures. No slicing needed here.
Indy :>)
Comment Written 02-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2008
-
Thank mucho my sweet friend. I appreciate that you enjoyed this. Zee
Comment from jeslaf
No slicin', no dicin'. This one's ready to go. Perfect. Hysterically funny. Love the allusion to dead bodies buried out there, literal or figurative, doesn't matter. It works. Love your sidekicks and their names, as well as your penchant for getting laid whenever possible. :) I think it's a great twist/surprise ending. Way to go! :O)
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
|
No slicin', no dicin'. This one's ready to go. Perfect. Hysterically funny. Love the allusion to dead bodies buried out there, literal or figurative, doesn't matter. It works. Love your sidekicks and their names, as well as your penchant for getting laid whenever possible. :) I think it's a great twist/surprise ending. Way to go! :O)
Comment Written 24-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
-
Thank you J. I appreciate that you enjoyed this little foolishness. I love my sidekicks.. I need to do an intro for readers. Thanks for reading and leaving a review. ZeeZee
Comment from wirenut
zeezeewriter,
what help, this is prefect, just your style, horny and satisfying. i wouldn't change a thing, even the end is funny as hell.
lots of visual acuity, i particularly liked the garter belt shot, oh, and the crossing of the legs, sorta reminiscent of a movie i once saw in which a rather sultry lady sans panties flashed the camera for a second or two. it took me forever to freeze that shot and make a still out of it ... LOL
well done! gotta go take a cold shower now, skysme... (blush) ;-)
rick
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
|
zeezeewriter,
what help, this is prefect, just your style, horny and satisfying. i wouldn't change a thing, even the end is funny as hell.
lots of visual acuity, i particularly liked the garter belt shot, oh, and the crossing of the legs, sorta reminiscent of a movie i once saw in which a rather sultry lady sans panties flashed the camera for a second or two. it took me forever to freeze that shot and make a still out of it ... LOL
well done! gotta go take a cold shower now, skysme... (blush) ;-)
rick
Comment Written 24-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
-
lol... My character cannot compare to the beautiful actress in that movie.. her name escapes me.. duh. Thanks much Rick. ZeeZee
-
yeah me too but i think it was sharon stone... lol
and... please, don't ruin my dream this is my imagination i can use it as i want. one time i imagined myself at a football game and broke a leg lol
Comment from wierdgrace
Great story, and the characters, animals critters, are wonderful, laughter and emotions were great. found no errors and no revisions. it is great.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
|
Great story, and the characters, animals critters, are wonderful, laughter and emotions were great. found no errors and no revisions. it is great.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
-
Hi wierdgrace. Thank you for the wonderful review. I so appreciate it. ZeeZee
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A good piece of work, ZeeZee..
a story well told and well presented,
holding the interest to the end...
Zee.? He said,
Zee,? he said,
His neck turns all red [and angry]. (neck turns angry??
minor detail.? I said
minor detail,? I said
Otherwise(,) I could have
I so like your style.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
|
A good piece of work, ZeeZee..
a story well told and well presented,
holding the interest to the end...
Zee.? He said,
Zee,? he said,
His neck turns all red [and angry]. (neck turns angry??
minor detail.? I said
minor detail,? I said
Otherwise(,) I could have
I so like your style.
Margaret.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
-
Thanks Margaret, I saved your recommendation to make the changes. I appreciate your help. ZeeZee
-
I don't know where the
question marks came from..
there are gremlins on this
site.
M
-
I've seen this before. I wonder if it is when the reviewer uses the "Notes" section and then copy/pastes into the review field? But I do like the idea of Gremlins. Ha Ha. Zee
Comment from chaswriter
Zeezee - Love your stories. Good character development in this. You mix tenses quite a bit. Enjoyed the storyline.
Here are some suggestions:
Back in the day(,) Sloan owned this piece of land and the log cabin at the end of the path.
Many bodies (were) buried here
His body (was) buried here.
I bought it( -- )another lifetime ago.
?What the fuck are you doing in Wisconsin(? You) hate Wisconsin,?
He (was) refusing to mention the oddity of our location. I (liked) that about him. Licking wounds (had) never been a pastime for Sloan.
Now he (was) upset. I (hated) when he gets upset. His neck (turned) all red and angry.
He (was) ignoring my attempt to seduce him. I hate wasting a good pair
One thing led to another and before you know it(,) he was asking me to lift up on his tie to heighten his enjoyment.
Hope that helps. Charlie.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
|
Zeezee - Love your stories. Good character development in this. You mix tenses quite a bit. Enjoyed the storyline.
Here are some suggestions:
Back in the day(,) Sloan owned this piece of land and the log cabin at the end of the path.
Many bodies (were) buried here
His body (was) buried here.
I bought it( -- )another lifetime ago.
?What the fuck are you doing in Wisconsin(? You) hate Wisconsin,?
He (was) refusing to mention the oddity of our location. I (liked) that about him. Licking wounds (had) never been a pastime for Sloan.
Now he (was) upset. I (hated) when he gets upset. His neck (turned) all red and angry.
He (was) ignoring my attempt to seduce him. I hate wasting a good pair
One thing led to another and before you know it(,) he was asking me to lift up on his tie to heighten his enjoyment.
Hope that helps. Charlie.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
-
Thanks so much Charlie. I saved your suggestions and will return and fix the problems. Thanks so much. ZeeZee
Comment from Judian James
"I do not hate Wisconsin. I just don?t care to spend any time in the state of Wisconsin. The smell of cheese upsets my stomach. Did you bring the Vodka?? Loved it!!
"I hate wasting a good pair of black stockings because of a minor glitch. My motto: Carpe Penis, seize the opportunity to get laid" Oh, my God you're hilarious!!
Is this continuing on? The ending kind of leaves one in the lurch ... However, with that being said, no one writes this kind of stuff like you, my crazy friend and I loved it!! Your humor is so clever and biting (no pun intended with the snake and all!!) Loved it!!!
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
|
"I do not hate Wisconsin. I just don?t care to spend any time in the state of Wisconsin. The smell of cheese upsets my stomach. Did you bring the Vodka?? Loved it!!
"I hate wasting a good pair of black stockings because of a minor glitch. My motto: Carpe Penis, seize the opportunity to get laid" Oh, my God you're hilarious!!
Is this continuing on? The ending kind of leaves one in the lurch ... However, with that being said, no one writes this kind of stuff like you, my crazy friend and I loved it!! Your humor is so clever and biting (no pun intended with the snake and all!!) Loved it!!!
Comment Written 24-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
-
all are short stories that lead to nowhere. Just silly moments in ZeeZee's life. Thanks for reading and leaving a great review.. kisses baby. ZeeZee
Comment from Donovan
I am not going to slice and dice or even julienne, I am just going to sit and wonder if I am going to get an SOS from sunshine angel so ...well I digress.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
|
I am not going to slice and dice or even julienne, I am just going to sit and wonder if I am going to get an SOS from sunshine angel so ...well I digress.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
-
SOS.... one strong hero type needed to get old cougar out of situation comedies. LOL Thanks Donovan, for reading and leaving a generous review. ZeeZee
Comment from Charles Keith
Hi Z
Sliced or diced it reads pretty damn good to me.
What got him ... a copper head or a trouser snake?
looks like he had one of each.
Love the line- He walked over to the young man; currently a dead young man. Like he would ever recover!
Great read
Laughed my way to the bathroom!
best of the best to you.
Keith
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
|
Hi Z
Sliced or diced it reads pretty damn good to me.
What got him ... a copper head or a trouser snake?
looks like he had one of each.
Love the line- He walked over to the young man; currently a dead young man. Like he would ever recover!
Great read
Laughed my way to the bathroom!
best of the best to you.
Keith
Comment Written 24-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
-
HI Keith. I am so please to hear that you laughed. That was the principle of my exercise. Thanks for reading and leaving a review. ZeeZee
Comment from maxer
Absolutlety delightful! Funny as hell.
If your looking for advice, I would solidify the location a bit more. You've done a a great job of describing the actual landscape and such, but I guess I wasn't totally sure why she was there, if it wasn't to see Sloan. You have that one really nice paragraph about past memories but not sure if the line "I bought it" was literal or if she just bought his bullshit.
The dialogue is great and Im warming up to this gal.
Carpe Penis kills me!
Anyway, I really enjoyed it a laughed out loud more than once. My only question is why she was out in the Wisconsin woods servicing the chef. How'd she get there?
Thanks for sharing! Good job!
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
|
Absolutlety delightful! Funny as hell.
If your looking for advice, I would solidify the location a bit more. You've done a a great job of describing the actual landscape and such, but I guess I wasn't totally sure why she was there, if it wasn't to see Sloan. You have that one really nice paragraph about past memories but not sure if the line "I bought it" was literal or if she just bought his bullshit.
The dialogue is great and Im warming up to this gal.
Carpe Penis kills me!
Anyway, I really enjoyed it a laughed out loud more than once. My only question is why she was out in the Wisconsin woods servicing the chef. How'd she get there?
Thanks for sharing! Good job!
Comment Written 24-Oct-2008
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2008
-
LOL... oh heck, I don't know.. lmao. My character has a thing for Chefs. She lured this young man to her property for the purpose of having a tryst. But she told him it was to pick mushrooms.. ha ha... I need to some how back up the stories and give the reader some background. I am trying to write short, funny stories about ZeeZee and her friends/employees. I have about 10 at this point. But I do not have one that ties them all together for clarity. Oh, well, some day I will get my act together and take it on the road. Thanks mucho for the comments and sorry for the confusion. ZeeZee
