As You Receive
Life reflections in retro.145 total reviews
Comment from Kiara Wiggins
We will all grow old and look back on what our younger days were like. Many of us catch ourselves reminiscing on the good times. This is a very relatable poem for me and very well written.
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We will all grow old and look back on what our younger days were like. Many of us catch ourselves reminiscing on the good times. This is a very relatable poem for me and very well written.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
Comment from in777wr#
This poem flows well. The rhythm, and the wording of this poem is beautiful. To me, the message of aging compared to the dreams, and hopes of youth are communicated well. The message is clear, and well composed.
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This poem flows well. The rhythm, and the wording of this poem is beautiful. To me, the message of aging compared to the dreams, and hopes of youth are communicated well. The message is clear, and well composed.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
This is an excellent autobiographical poem, showing as part of what was wasted as a youth, the author has become wiser with a desire to give instead of get, to be generous with the poor. The last three lines captures the essence of the poem well.
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This is an excellent autobiographical poem, showing as part of what was wasted as a youth, the author has become wiser with a desire to give instead of get, to be generous with the poor. The last three lines captures the essence of the poem well.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
Comment from Sally Carter
A fascinating poem, which I'm sure would continue to provoke thoughts through many reads.
I didn't understand all the poem, particularly the second verse, which I took to mean being liberal with the truth?
My one minor issue was with "experimentation" in the fifth verse, which seemed slightly at odds with the impeccable meter throughout. And I loved your skill with the rhyme pattern.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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A fascinating poem, which I'm sure would continue to provoke thoughts through many reads.
I didn't understand all the poem, particularly the second verse, which I took to mean being liberal with the truth?
My one minor issue was with "experimentation" in the fifth verse, which seemed slightly at odds with the impeccable meter throughout. And I loved your skill with the rhyme pattern.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Hi Sally. I often remind writers that how we mentally pronounce a "word" can fool us as to the syllabic count. In this case I should have reminded myself of my own reminders. When I hear the word 'experimentation' I drop the 'i' sound from the word and that 'drop' did, indeed, make a six-syllable word in my ear five syllables. So, your sharp aural perception was very astute and, of course, correct. Below is the correction and I thank you so much for improving and correcting my error. Below is that correction.
"Diverse experience my need". Keep up the fine-tuned ear Sally, for that is the main benefit of the site. Great job. tom
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Aw, isn't it great when someone responds to a suggestion without getting "flouncy"? I hope when I start posting stuff again (hopefully) I will get honest feedback with ideas for tweaks.
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And yes, I love the minor alteration :-)
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After I realized the error Sally, I turned to my wife and asked her to say the word 'experimentation'. We are from the Midwest, and I think demographics has an effect on many areas of life including our pronunciation of varied words. She, of course, pronounced the soft 'i'. But she is usually dead-on correct in everything. LOL. Thanks again and don't let the fragile egos of wannabees and their damaged false pride stop you from helping everyone no matter their expertise or skill. tom
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Accents, eh?!! I come forom Cornwall in the UK, where we have some beauties. I'm not Cornish by birth, but I can have a decent stab at it.
Comment from heavenempress
Excellent piece of poetry. Keep it up! Indeed it's a special message for the youth. I wish the fanstory youth take it to heart. I highly recommend your work to the others.
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Excellent piece of poetry. Keep it up! Indeed it's a special message for the youth. I wish the fanstory youth take it to heart. I highly recommend your work to the others.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
Comment from Spitfire
This well-constructed flawless poem carries a wise message and should be a must read for high school students to study. To me, the last line is a reminder that even as old age takes our body, we still stay young in thought and more so as we now 'give'.
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This well-constructed flawless poem carries a wise message and should be a must read for high school students to study. To me, the last line is a reminder that even as old age takes our body, we still stay young in thought and more so as we now 'give'.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
' As You Receive ' , is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a privilege to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
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' As You Receive ' , is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a privilege to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
Comment from nomi338
Indeed one's youth provides a place and an opportunity to sing, dance and express joy. Old age provides an opportunity to express joy and gratitude, for waking up and still to be in possession of the breath of life.
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Indeed one's youth provides a place and an opportunity to sing, dance and express joy. Old age provides an opportunity to express joy and gratitude, for waking up and still to be in possession of the breath of life.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
Comment from pome lover
Congratulations on your awards!
That was some poem.
Sone of it I didn't understand, like the part at the beginning about perjury, but it seems like you had your ups and downs, like we all have had. But I'm glad you are still singing! and from your bio, it sounds like a satisfying life. Good for you.
Katharine
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Congratulations on your awards!
That was some poem.
Sone of it I didn't understand, like the part at the beginning about perjury, but it seems like you had your ups and downs, like we all have had. But I'm glad you are still singing! and from your bio, it sounds like a satisfying life. Good for you.
Katharine
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
Comment from MissMerri
This well-written poem is full of excellent advice, as well as some solid remembrances. Your words inspire much self-reflection and the advice offered in the last few stanzas is certainly worth serious consideration. I enjoyed the steady meter and the creative rhymes but you are probably one of the best when it comes to original rhymes. Well done.
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This well-written poem is full of excellent advice, as well as some solid remembrances. Your words inspire much self-reflection and the advice offered in the last few stanzas is certainly worth serious consideration. I enjoyed the steady meter and the creative rhymes but you are probably one of the best when it comes to original rhymes. Well done.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022