Ridding Yourself of Demons
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Kidnapped"A man summons a demon but gets more than he wanted
3 total reviews
Comment from mmichelle97219
Well these idiots think he is possessed. Now you have the story playing in two directions at once. I can't wait to see how it merges back together again. I am on the edge of my seat.
Michelle
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2008
  |
Well these idiots think he is possessed. Now you have the story playing in two directions at once. I can't wait to see how it merges back together again. I am on the edge of my seat.
Michelle
Comment Written 15-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2008
-
I'll be interested to see where it goes too.
Glad you liked it
Comment from Celtic~Soul
Okay, I've been way too busy and have missed reviewing a few chapters (have to go back, so much has happened), but reading this chapter was great! And a good test of your story development. The chapter holds very well on its own from beginning to end. The emotions and characterizations felt rich and true. Paul's come a long way and now he's going to find out what it's like to be separated from Scarth - looks bad. Hope Ess can help!
One thought:
the floor immediately by his eyes - this seemed awkward. Maybe: the floor in front of his face.
Just a thought - immediately doesn't really add and 'by his eyes' didn't seem quite right. Okay, that's it!
Great chapter. Now, to go back and catch up...
Dawn
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2008
|
Okay, I've been way too busy and have missed reviewing a few chapters (have to go back, so much has happened), but reading this chapter was great! And a good test of your story development. The chapter holds very well on its own from beginning to end. The emotions and characterizations felt rich and true. Paul's come a long way and now he's going to find out what it's like to be separated from Scarth - looks bad. Hope Ess can help!
One thought:
the floor immediately by his eyes - this seemed awkward. Maybe: the floor in front of his face.
Just a thought - immediately doesn't really add and 'by his eyes' didn't seem quite right. Okay, that's it!
Great chapter. Now, to go back and catch up...
Dawn
Comment Written 15-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2008
-
You're right, that line is a littel awkward. I'll revise it
Comment from Rajasir
Scarth took as much notice as an escaped mongrel on the scent of a bitch on heat. ( Your subtle sense of humor always makes me pause and smile)
It was the pent up scream of hopelessness uttered from countless souls condemned to an eternity of torture(Then suddenly I come across the hidden philosopher in you who comes out with the thought sublime)
Paul felt frighteningly vulnerable lying on the floor of the van, his hands cuffed behind his back and an unseen assailant kneeling on his back( next I find myself face to face with the skill of illustrative description that moves like a movie being shown)
Wonderful, my friend.
Today , I decided to go through this chapter as if a teacher were trying to point out the striking features to his students.
Bless you,
Rajasir
I as always have enjoyed your writing very much.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2008
|
Scarth took as much notice as an escaped mongrel on the scent of a bitch on heat. ( Your subtle sense of humor always makes me pause and smile)
It was the pent up scream of hopelessness uttered from countless souls condemned to an eternity of torture(Then suddenly I come across the hidden philosopher in you who comes out with the thought sublime)
Paul felt frighteningly vulnerable lying on the floor of the van, his hands cuffed behind his back and an unseen assailant kneeling on his back( next I find myself face to face with the skill of illustrative description that moves like a movie being shown)
Wonderful, my friend.
Today , I decided to go through this chapter as if a teacher were trying to point out the striking features to his students.
Bless you,
Rajasir
I as always have enjoyed your writing very much.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2008
-
You are far too kind, thank you very much.
