Ridding Yourself of Demons
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Demon Keeper"A man summons a demon but gets more than he wanted
23 total reviews
Comment from ThyLordDracula
what a tale - very enjoyable read with a lot of imagination within the lines - Scarth is funny - cause ya make him that way - the way he talks and his antics - and he eats everything in sight ha ha - liked yyour title also - this was a fun read - thanks for sharing - ^v^
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008
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what a tale - very enjoyable read with a lot of imagination within the lines - Scarth is funny - cause ya make him that way - the way he talks and his antics - and he eats everything in sight ha ha - liked yyour title also - this was a fun read - thanks for sharing - ^v^
Comment Written 07-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008
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You're bery kind, thank you
Comment from Live2Write
For some reason, while reading this, I kept picturing Scarth as looking like Dobby from the Harry Potter series. Not sure why. That's not how you described him. This was cute. You get all these stories about demons being conjured but you never get these annoying little duds in the movies. Very creative. :)
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008
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For some reason, while reading this, I kept picturing Scarth as looking like Dobby from the Harry Potter series. Not sure why. That's not how you described him. This was cute. You get all these stories about demons being conjured but you never get these annoying little duds in the movies. Very creative. :)
Comment Written 06-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008
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You're very kind. I think he probably looks like Dobby's punk brother, and I rather think the underworld 'arranged' his transfer. I don't think he'd be any better down there.
Thanks for the review
Comment from venusanblue
Haha, I enjoyed this story, so you conjured up a half witted demon, who acts like a spoilt child, haha. I had a great visual. Nice one, V,xxx
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008
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Haha, I enjoyed this story, so you conjured up a half witted demon, who acts like a spoilt child, haha. I had a great visual. Nice one, V,xxx
Comment Written 06-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2008
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I'm glad you liked it, thank you
Comment from Shinitaku
That was simply fantastic! It all read very smoothly and the description of Scarth was hilarious, and you just picture him and his fixation with the phone the entire time. And all of the little demon's inexperience, particularly the event with Lauryn was wonderfully oblivious on his part. Your development of him was amazing, and his growing impish nature in avoiding Paul's questions towards the end was fabulous, left the perfect amount of intrigue for the next installment. I think it stands without saying it again, but, wonderful job, from dialogue to descriptions to the entire piece.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2008
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That was simply fantastic! It all read very smoothly and the description of Scarth was hilarious, and you just picture him and his fixation with the phone the entire time. And all of the little demon's inexperience, particularly the event with Lauryn was wonderfully oblivious on his part. Your development of him was amazing, and his growing impish nature in avoiding Paul's questions towards the end was fabulous, left the perfect amount of intrigue for the next installment. I think it stands without saying it again, but, wonderful job, from dialogue to descriptions to the entire piece.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2008
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I'm embarrassed by your praise, thank you
Comment from wheelyfast
This reads well and has good characters and dialogue. My only comment is that you left me hanging at the end and I am dying to read more.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2008
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This reads well and has good characters and dialogue. My only comment is that you left me hanging at the end and I am dying to read more.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2008
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Always leave 'em wanting more.
I'm glad you liked it. thanks for the review
Comment from Lady & Louis
Hmmm... I begin to wonder if Scarth is really as stupid as he seems... it's not a bad way to get out of doing anything for the one who enslaved him, is it? If a dog can figure it out, so perhaps can a demon...
Good story, snodlander. Scarth makes me think of a psychotic version of Dobby, with a touch of Gollum thrown in.
One typo:
"Yes, Master," he replied staring at the telephone. - replied,
Cheers,
LL
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2008
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Hmmm... I begin to wonder if Scarth is really as stupid as he seems... it's not a bad way to get out of doing anything for the one who enslaved him, is it? If a dog can figure it out, so perhaps can a demon...
Good story, snodlander. Scarth makes me think of a psychotic version of Dobby, with a touch of Gollum thrown in.
One typo:
"Yes, Master," he replied staring at the telephone. - replied,
Cheers,
LL
Comment Written 01-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2008
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Oops, thanks for that. You're spot on with your description. I somehow wonder if downstairs arranged it for him to come up here, just to get rid of him.
Thanks for your review.
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Rather reminds me of how Milligan described that great Army trick of posting totally useless soldiers to one place after another...
Comment from mmichelle97219
in a manner that suggested it was more than his job was worth to break them. = although an effective sentence it trips the tongue.
Make sure when dealing with eveil things that you can pay the price for their service. Another cute lesson on paying close attention for what you ask for. Good post.
Michelle
reply by the author on 31-May-2008
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in a manner that suggested it was more than his job was worth to break them. = although an effective sentence it trips the tongue.
Make sure when dealing with eveil things that you can pay the price for their service. Another cute lesson on paying close attention for what you ask for. Good post.
Michelle
Comment Written 31-May-2008
reply by the author on 31-May-2008
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Thanks for your comments. Glad you liked it
Comment from mcdaniel1299
Ooh, I want one too, a demon that is. I want one to leave at work. Yeah, one that won't listen to me and eat all my customers. I loved this story and I'm not one for fantasy or science fiction. I am more a reality based reader/writer, but I truly enjoyed this piece. Scarth sacrificed Mrs. Henderson, didn't he? I figured as much.
reply by the author on 31-May-2008
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Ooh, I want one too, a demon that is. I want one to leave at work. Yeah, one that won't listen to me and eat all my customers. I loved this story and I'm not one for fantasy or science fiction. I am more a reality based reader/writer, but I truly enjoyed this piece. Scarth sacrificed Mrs. Henderson, didn't he? I figured as much.
Comment Written 30-May-2008
reply by the author on 31-May-2008
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I'm guessing it was just too much against his nature not to sacrifice her. Demon keeping is a skilled and full-time occupation, and personally, I blame the keepers for not keeping the little devils under control.
Glad you liked this, despite yourself.
Comment from Instinct
I love the flow of this piece. I'm not one for sci-fi, but this was entertaining. The dialogue worked well, but I wanted more description of Scarth. I didn't feel that I could really picture him the way I would have liked. Great piece and very humorous.
reply by the author on 30-May-2008
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I love the flow of this piece. I'm not one for sci-fi, but this was entertaining. The dialogue worked well, but I wanted more description of Scarth. I didn't feel that I could really picture him the way I would have liked. Great piece and very humorous.
Comment Written 30-May-2008
reply by the author on 30-May-2008
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Better to leave the reader wanting more, I suppose. You're right, I could have made more of his description, but once you've seen one class three demon from the outer pit, you've seen them all.
Thanks for reading outside your normal choice, and I'm glad you were entertained.
Comment from GentleCloud
Hi Snodlander, this one is a scream. You can actually spin it into a short novella, and people will lap it up. It's that good. I have absolutely nothing to pick, except to say, "Too short!!"
to fart a single note for ninety seconds solid. (outrageously funny. Love this!)
Thanks for the belly exercises.
reply by the author on 30-May-2008
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Hi Snodlander, this one is a scream. You can actually spin it into a short novella, and people will lap it up. It's that good. I have absolutely nothing to pick, except to say, "Too short!!"
to fart a single note for ninety seconds solid. (outrageously funny. Love this!)
Thanks for the belly exercises.
Comment Written 30-May-2008
reply by the author on 30-May-2008
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You are very generous, thank you. I'm flattered
