I Will No Longer Wear Your Coat
For all victims of sexual abuse59 total reviews
Comment from RaymondJohn
Powerful poem and a powerful message. I have heard many stories about the feelings of guilt. I once dated a woman who had been raped and she was sure she had done something to encourage the rapist. She also was very afraid of me, as Much as I tried to reassure her. Excellent write. Best wishes. Ray
reply by the author on 11-May-2008
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Powerful poem and a powerful message. I have heard many stories about the feelings of guilt. I once dated a woman who had been raped and she was sure she had done something to encourage the rapist. She also was very afraid of me, as Much as I tried to reassure her. Excellent write. Best wishes. Ray
Comment Written 10-May-2008
reply by the author on 11-May-2008
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thanks, Ray. Unfortunately, some women never get past that fear no matter how wonderful the man. love, jan
Comment from WildWithWords
re your Author's Notes - HEAR HEAR !
What a truly emotional and heart rending poem on a subject which is as distasteful as it is wrong.... but that doesn't mean it should be hidden away and not exposed.
It should ! You have.
Congratulations on your courage and on taking back your self-respect from he who stole it all those years ago.
As for the poem itself.... I loved the following lines...
"Replacing my veil of innocence
With a cloak of deceit and self-disgust"
That metaphor says it all in so few words it's almost profound.
Personally I would replace the word "That" with "This" in the very last line. It's a very small point ( and I wont be offended at all if you ignore the opinion ) but I find the inferrence in the word "This" in the context of the line to be far more a "statement" spoken both with indignation and dignity.
It's like saying to your abuser "THIS is me buddy. THIS is how I am, right here right NOW" ...rather than "That's how it's going to be ".
As I say, small point.... but it's more empowering and that's what your poem is all about - taking back the power !
reply by the author on 11-May-2008
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re your Author's Notes - HEAR HEAR !
What a truly emotional and heart rending poem on a subject which is as distasteful as it is wrong.... but that doesn't mean it should be hidden away and not exposed.
It should ! You have.
Congratulations on your courage and on taking back your self-respect from he who stole it all those years ago.
As for the poem itself.... I loved the following lines...
"Replacing my veil of innocence
With a cloak of deceit and self-disgust"
That metaphor says it all in so few words it's almost profound.
Personally I would replace the word "That" with "This" in the very last line. It's a very small point ( and I wont be offended at all if you ignore the opinion ) but I find the inferrence in the word "This" in the context of the line to be far more a "statement" spoken both with indignation and dignity.
It's like saying to your abuser "THIS is me buddy. THIS is how I am, right here right NOW" ...rather than "That's how it's going to be ".
As I say, small point.... but it's more empowering and that's what your poem is all about - taking back the power !
Comment Written 10-May-2008
reply by the author on 11-May-2008
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Thanks for the advice, WildWithWords. I'm always open to improvement and I see your point vividly. love, jan
Comment from starman
Well, this vivid and stark potrayal of abuse and all its distasteful and shameful undertones of deceit and evil is one that we shoudl all read.
reply by the author on 11-May-2008
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Well, this vivid and stark potrayal of abuse and all its distasteful and shameful undertones of deceit and evil is one that we shoudl all read.
Comment Written 10-May-2008
reply by the author on 11-May-2008
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thanks, starman. love, jan
Comment from volunteer angel
This is an important message for all victims of child abuse. You are so right about the excuses they give to their victims. This releases their guilt and puts it on the other person. That coat of shame doesn't belong to the ones they victimize. God can see us through everything if we'll only let Him. Wonderful poem with a great message. V.A.
reply by the author on 11-May-2008
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This is an important message for all victims of child abuse. You are so right about the excuses they give to their victims. This releases their guilt and puts it on the other person. That coat of shame doesn't belong to the ones they victimize. God can see us through everything if we'll only let Him. Wonderful poem with a great message. V.A.
Comment Written 10-May-2008
reply by the author on 11-May-2008
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thanks, volunteer angel.love, jan
Comment from angel of the quill
shame and guilt are two of the worst crimes against anyone
i lived with foster parents
guilt shame and being not good enough
were daily trained into me
till as an adult i still feel it
like many i am sure this story hits
i was in a home where such animals lived
and i still though i won't say it
remember their words
yes guilt can live on
even when you know it does't matter if you tell
reply by the author on 10-May-2008
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shame and guilt are two of the worst crimes against anyone
i lived with foster parents
guilt shame and being not good enough
were daily trained into me
till as an adult i still feel it
like many i am sure this story hits
i was in a home where such animals lived
and i still though i won't say it
remember their words
yes guilt can live on
even when you know it does't matter if you tell
Comment Written 10-May-2008
reply by the author on 10-May-2008
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I am so sorry, angel. My parents were foster parents. I'm sorry you couldn't have lived with them. love, jan
Comment from ritter1116
Gee! I've been reading some very emotional stuff today!. Another story/poem that almost moved this reader to tears. i would like your permission to post this in my blog. Of course I would include your name. Would also use your author notes too. would this be o.kay?
reply by the author on 10-May-2008
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Gee! I've been reading some very emotional stuff today!. Another story/poem that almost moved this reader to tears. i would like your permission to post this in my blog. Of course I would include your name. Would also use your author notes too. would this be o.kay?
Comment Written 10-May-2008
reply by the author on 10-May-2008
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yes, it is a published poem so could you also note that it is published in Beacons, Prayers, and Promises: Pathways to Healing, Janice B. Holland, Trafford Publishing, 2006. Thanks. What is your blog? Love, jan
Comment from RazberryBullet
Sexual abuse is horrible anytime, but especially for the young victims, who have no idea of what's going on or why. I've read that a lot of pedophiles were abused themselves as children and now exact vengence by becoming what they hated.
It's never-ending.
reply by the author on 10-May-2008
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Sexual abuse is horrible anytime, but especially for the young victims, who have no idea of what's going on or why. I've read that a lot of pedophiles were abused themselves as children and now exact vengence by becoming what they hated.
It's never-ending.
Comment Written 10-May-2008
reply by the author on 10-May-2008
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RazberryBullet, but we don't have to become pedophiles and I realize you are not saying that, at all. You may want to skim through my profile for some others on the issue. Don't feel you have to review. love, jan
Comment from mamre07
This is a very thought-provoking piece that needs to be shared in a journal or some other publication. Many of the laws regarding sexual crimes need to be toughened/changed.
reply by the author on 10-May-2008
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This is a very thought-provoking piece that needs to be shared in a journal or some other publication. Many of the laws regarding sexual crimes need to be toughened/changed.
Comment Written 10-May-2008
reply by the author on 10-May-2008
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It's in my book which is profiled on fanstory. Thanks. love, jan
Comment from Twomoon
Jan..........this was such a powerful piece of extreme poetry..you are so gifted in sharing your souls thoughts with such power! You feel deeply and it comes out in your poems and your writing of stories...talented and mixed with experience that has been sensitive enough to tap into and touch the truth in such horrendous crimes...You are a gem! I have not been on much, but, I am glad I saw this...wish I had a 10 to honor this..alas not even a six...almost waited until Sunday to review, but your words and the power you displayed would not let me leave to wait another day! much love twomoon
reply by the author on 10-May-2008
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Jan..........this was such a powerful piece of extreme poetry..you are so gifted in sharing your souls thoughts with such power! You feel deeply and it comes out in your poems and your writing of stories...talented and mixed with experience that has been sensitive enough to tap into and touch the truth in such horrendous crimes...You are a gem! I have not been on much, but, I am glad I saw this...wish I had a 10 to honor this..alas not even a six...almost waited until Sunday to review, but your words and the power you displayed would not let me leave to wait another day! much love twomoon
Comment Written 10-May-2008
reply by the author on 10-May-2008
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I've been on and off a lot over the last two weeks, too. Horrendous tornado hit my hometown. My family and loved ones are fine but I helped with a crisis at my daughter's school, my husband's building was hit, had a niece pulled from a wreckage, three members of one of my organization's involved, and my former elementary school suffered a fair amount of damage. For some reason, I went into some form of shutdown, doing only what I absolutely had to when I had to and sometimes, not even that. $30 million worth of damage but no lives lost. God is good all the time. Your words are a true gift to me, my friend. I consider this piece my victory poem. It is the last one in my first book which is promoted by my profile. PM me your home address and I will mail you a copy. Hope you are well. Love, jan
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Jan, oh, my friend, I am so glad you are well, as I was sorry to hear of your news in your hometown! How devastating that is..as is your beautiful soul to be out there helping does not surprise me, at all! You are a gift to all who know you, that is for sure..I am glad no one was killed. Prayer of thanks in order!...smile. I am so happy of your book, it makes me smile. much love twomoon
Comment from rama devi
This is an outstanding write voicing an important message with skillfully conceived, apt and extended metaphor. I like how you have two coats represented here and the layout of the poem suits this theme and message.
I like your indented lines for effective voicing.
Your words shine with an inner strength and conviction.
I appreciate how you reveal to the reader the way Divine grace can transform our sorrows into joy. Every experience that pushes us down can be used like a spring to ultimately send us flying higher upward faster!
Nice picture. Pure innocence.
Good comments too. Very informative, giving a voice or those too scared to speak up for themselves.
God Bless you!
Warm regards,
rama devi
reply by the author on 11-May-2008
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This is an outstanding write voicing an important message with skillfully conceived, apt and extended metaphor. I like how you have two coats represented here and the layout of the poem suits this theme and message.
I like your indented lines for effective voicing.
Your words shine with an inner strength and conviction.
I appreciate how you reveal to the reader the way Divine grace can transform our sorrows into joy. Every experience that pushes us down can be used like a spring to ultimately send us flying higher upward faster!
Nice picture. Pure innocence.
Good comments too. Very informative, giving a voice or those too scared to speak up for themselves.
God Bless you!
Warm regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 10-May-2008
reply by the author on 11-May-2008
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rama devi, I was one of those too scared to speak up for myself for 40 years -- now I must speak up for the others. love, jan
