A War of Sand
Free verse, repetition required.15 total reviews
Comment from Norzah
A sad story to hear that the strong hands and burning breath which once implore you in the name of love to surrender, have succumbed to the savagery of war in a distant land, a war that you dubbed as the war of sand
with 'ditches of devastation/and death.' Many have screamed like you, seeking an answer to the madness. But 'all voices of reason are silent'.
The war goes on demanding more deaths and devastation. Who can we blame? Love the poem.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2008
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A sad story to hear that the strong hands and burning breath which once implore you in the name of love to surrender, have succumbed to the savagery of war in a distant land, a war that you dubbed as the war of sand
with 'ditches of devastation/and death.' Many have screamed like you, seeking an answer to the madness. But 'all voices of reason are silent'.
The war goes on demanding more deaths and devastation. Who can we blame? Love the poem.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2008
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Thank you so much for your wonderful, sensitive and meaningful comment, this poem was written about all wars, whether are fair or unfair the result is always the same... We can blame human nature, since war seems to be always easy to the nature of mankind than peace, since the beginning of time . Devastation
Comment from PUPA
Hi Pili,
So true, how many lives did this far away sand take, and unfortunately is still doing so. A very well expressed poem, very sad. I liked how you started with the first stanza as it gave strength to the poem. One could visualize that strong man, then the sad situation after that.
A very smooth flow that made this reading enjoyable.
Love
Pupa
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2008
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Hi Pili,
So true, how many lives did this far away sand take, and unfortunately is still doing so. A very well expressed poem, very sad. I liked how you started with the first stanza as it gave strength to the poem. One could visualize that strong man, then the sad situation after that.
A very smooth flow that made this reading enjoyable.
Love
Pupa
Comment Written 22-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2008
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=Thank you so much for such meaningful review !
Comment from Charles Keith
Hi war, but it PP
This excellent poem, I imagine, was inspired by the Iraq situation, however it can be applied to so many conflicts, especially combined with the illustration.
eg;
The Spanish Civil war
The WW2 desert war in North Africa (my Dad was there but survived thankfully)
The Zulu wars
the Maffakin relief
1967 war and all the shit since
an on and on and on
You have written a great poem with a long history!
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2008
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Hi war, but it PP
This excellent poem, I imagine, was inspired by the Iraq situation, however it can be applied to so many conflicts, especially combined with the illustration.
eg;
The Spanish Civil war
The WW2 desert war in North Africa (my Dad was there but survived thankfully)
The Zulu wars
the Maffakin relief
1967 war and all the shit since
an on and on and on
You have written a great poem with a long history!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2008
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You are right, it is about war, it dosen't matter much wich one. Thank you so much for a great review !
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Pili, what a sad, sad poem. If it is true, I extend my sympanthies to you. If it is about someone you know, my sympathies to them. If it is fiction, I am amazed at your passion for something that could happen to someone. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2008
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Pili, what a sad, sad poem. If it is true, I extend my sympanthies to you. If it is about someone you know, my sympathies to them. If it is fiction, I am amazed at your passion for something that could happen to someone. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2008
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In this case is fiction, but my family suffer from other wars, war is war, and the tragedies are the same. Thank you for a great comment !
Comment from bigmoondogg2004
Very good poem. Well written and love the detail. Really a very sad story. Loved the verse "A war of sand took you far away to fill ditches of devastation and death"..good work.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2008
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Very good poem. Well written and love the detail. Really a very sad story. Loved the verse "A war of sand took you far away to fill ditches of devastation and death"..good work.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2008
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Thank you so much for a great review !
Comment from smiles_with_sunshine
>>>P>i>l>i>>P>u>b>u>l>>>
Outstanding, Pili...absolutely outstanding!
Your poem so goes with the art work.
And it so goes with the War and History
poetry theme. Perfect in every way.
Thank you for sharing.
Take care and "be" blessed.
:)s* smiles
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2008
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>>>P>i>l>i>>P>u>b>u>l>>>
Outstanding, Pili...absolutely outstanding!
Your poem so goes with the art work.
And it so goes with the War and History
poetry theme. Perfect in every way.
Thank you for sharing.
Take care and "be" blessed.
:)s* smiles
Comment Written 21-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2008
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Smiles you humble me with your amazing comment a shining stars, thank you, thank you my sweet friend !
Comment from earthlybeing
It is beautifully written. I love the way it flows and tell a story. I feel the yearning and missing of your love. Is is about a son or someone else who has gone off to war? Thanks for sharing it. Jeanette
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2008
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It is beautifully written. I love the way it flows and tell a story. I feel the yearning and missing of your love. Is is about a son or someone else who has gone off to war? Thanks for sharing it. Jeanette
Comment Written 21-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2008
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It is based and inspired by the art provided by the contest. And is about her lover. Thank you my friend for such great comment.
Comment from Shari_K
A beautiful and sad poem but fits so perfectly to the picture. Your poem's structure is perfect, easy to read and follow and the rhythm is great as well. Excellent poem. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2008
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A beautiful and sad poem but fits so perfectly to the picture. Your poem's structure is perfect, easy to read and follow and the rhythm is great as well. Excellent poem. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2008
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Thank you so much Shari for a very kind comment !
Comment from Judian James
This is excellent. The best piece I've seen for this contest.
The artwork is so tragic and you've managed to come up with the perfect piece for the devastation manifested in her being.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2008
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This is excellent. The best piece I've seen for this contest.
The artwork is so tragic and you've managed to come up with the perfect piece for the devastation manifested in her being.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2008
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I am so grateful Judian for such thoughtful review !
Comment from aviddbrut
oh, very good. very sad, but excellently written. your first stanza tells us much of what we need to know to have the rest of the poem have the force that it does. a war of sand. what a good way to describe the uselessness of the conflict. not to mention the needless loss of life that results. thank you for being willing to share this with us. david
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2008
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oh, very good. very sad, but excellently written. your first stanza tells us much of what we need to know to have the rest of the poem have the force that it does. a war of sand. what a good way to describe the uselessness of the conflict. not to mention the needless loss of life that results. thank you for being willing to share this with us. david
Comment Written 21-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2008
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Thank you my friend for such thoughtful review !
