Dear Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Dear 'Memory'"Addressing different themes in a form of a letter
33 total reviews
Comment from Miriam Kingfisher
I laughed with this poem. Your words are wonderfully written capturing another common trait of all, well most, human beings.
I loved they way that your line rhymed and flowed together. I'm totally impressed with your writing style. Exceptionally well done.
What is next I wonder. I will wait for it with eager baited breath, that is if my memory tells me to keep a look out for it.
Take Care.
Miriam.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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I laughed with this poem. Your words are wonderfully written capturing another common trait of all, well most, human beings.
I loved they way that your line rhymed and flowed together. I'm totally impressed with your writing style. Exceptionally well done.
What is next I wonder. I will wait for it with eager baited breath, that is if my memory tells me to keep a look out for it.
Take Care.
Miriam.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Miriam, I am glad I could make you laugh!
Your comments about my writing have touched me and made me very happy.
Thanks for a lovely review and I hope your memory won't fail you to find my next letter or poem! lol.
Love
Pupa
Comment from Teri7
Having MS I can truly relate to this happening. I can be talking about something and all of a sudden it's not there anymore. Great poem you have penned my friend. Hugs, Teri
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Having MS I can truly relate to this happening. I can be talking about something and all of a sudden it's not there anymore. Great poem you have penned my friend. Hugs, Teri
Comment Written 11-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Teri, thanks for sharing your experience, it is so frustrating to be unable to remember so many things.
Love
Pupa
Comment from Judian James
Good one. Isn't it frustrating to be at the mercy of our memory and as we age, it seems to get worse and worse. This was wonderfully done and funny too. Excellent
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Good one. Isn't it frustrating to be at the mercy of our memory and as we age, it seems to get worse and worse. This was wonderfully done and funny too. Excellent
Comment Written 11-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Jude, thanks for your comments. Frustrating! and how. My daily life is getting so much influenced by it. Well, we are still better off than others in so many ways, thank God for that.
Love
Pupa
Comment from rama devi
Hi Pupa...this is the first work of yours I've read and it is a very good piece. I think it flows beautifully...and there is a sense of subtle meter even if it is not a strict one. There is a cadence to the voicing which sounds poetic. I really like the honesty and direct communication. Good rhyming.
Nothing really to critique except that this font is hard to read, even though it is pretty. Maybe making it a larger font size would help, but then it might be too 'loud". The font is lovely but the letters are so close together that I got a headache (just slightly) trying to decipher them!~
the art work is beautiful and appropriate.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Hi Pupa...this is the first work of yours I've read and it is a very good piece. I think it flows beautifully...and there is a sense of subtle meter even if it is not a strict one. There is a cadence to the voicing which sounds poetic. I really like the honesty and direct communication. Good rhyming.
Nothing really to critique except that this font is hard to read, even though it is pretty. Maybe making it a larger font size would help, but then it might be too 'loud". The font is lovely but the letters are so close together that I got a headache (just slightly) trying to decipher them!~
the art work is beautiful and appropriate.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 11-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Hi rama,
I appreciate very much your very encouraging review and kind rating.
Sorry about the font, this is the one I always use in this book, because they are letters. I will consider it next time, maybe in bold it would be clearer. Thanks for point that out.
Love
Pupa
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Thank you for your kind response to my review.
Warm regards,
rama devi
Comment from pompeii
May I rejoice with you in the news that the MRI showed that your brain isn't shrinking? Man, I would hate if that was happening to me.
As for the letter, I can relate, unfortunately. But I think mine is more chronic, since I have always been bad with dates, times, names, etc. I partly attribute mine to becoming so obsessed with what I'm writing, or reading at the moment, that all other thoughts get driven out. Heck I've gone days without sleep just to finish writing a story or to finish a book. Gotta love self-induced insomnia. LOL
"I have reached a point where I feel the fear within me growing,
so I am herewith giving you a last chance, yes a final warning.
If you don't start behaving again before, let's say, end of September,
I will unfortunately have to fire you, that is, if I will remember!"
Do I hear echoes of Donald trump saying "You're fired!", or one of those other prime-time shows here?
~pompeii
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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May I rejoice with you in the news that the MRI showed that your brain isn't shrinking? Man, I would hate if that was happening to me.
As for the letter, I can relate, unfortunately. But I think mine is more chronic, since I have always been bad with dates, times, names, etc. I partly attribute mine to becoming so obsessed with what I'm writing, or reading at the moment, that all other thoughts get driven out. Heck I've gone days without sleep just to finish writing a story or to finish a book. Gotta love self-induced insomnia. LOL
"I have reached a point where I feel the fear within me growing,
so I am herewith giving you a last chance, yes a final warning.
If you don't start behaving again before, let's say, end of September,
I will unfortunately have to fire you, that is, if I will remember!"
Do I hear echoes of Donald trump saying "You're fired!", or one of those other prime-time shows here?
~pompeii
Comment Written 11-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Pompei, your review made me smile, thanks, I really appreciated it very much.
As for Donald Trump, who? do I know that guy?? Can't remember! haha, just kidding. Yes, you are right, sounds like him.
Thanks for a lovely review and kind rating.
Love
Pupa
Comment from PoesyPoet
The good:
This one sounds like me, Pupa. I have that dread CRS disease! lol
I really liked this one. You should have made this a contest. It would have been fun to write one.
The bad:
I am not understand why you would change syntax. For example,
you wrote: I asked about his mother, when her funeral I had attended, I think it should be, I asked about his mother knowing I had attended her funeral. Also, you wrote: when on you I have always depended. I think it should be, when I have always depended on you. There are several others spots as well.
I hope this helps not hinder.
PP
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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The good:
This one sounds like me, Pupa. I have that dread CRS disease! lol
I really liked this one. You should have made this a contest. It would have been fun to write one.
The bad:
I am not understand why you would change syntax. For example,
you wrote: I asked about his mother, when her funeral I had attended, I think it should be, I asked about his mother knowing I had attended her funeral. Also, you wrote: when on you I have always depended. I think it should be, when I have always depended on you. There are several others spots as well.
I hope this helps not hinder.
PP
Comment Written 11-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Hi PP,
Thanks for both, good and bad. The first one you mentioned about the mother, it is meant to be like that, because I had forgotten that the lady died and that I had attended the funeral! So I couldn't possible use the word 'knowing'.
Other lines I have changed for the rhyming only.
But I will consider your comments, also in future writings, thanks for your help and support.
Love
Pupa
Comment from ryanj777
interesting use of a letter and poem to write. the personification of ones memory was well done.the use of realism is also good i am sorry for your loss of memory.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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interesting use of a letter and poem to write. the personification of ones memory was well done.the use of realism is also good i am sorry for your loss of memory.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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ryanj, your kind and encouraging review is most appreciated.
I am a bit confused because of the low rating, as with a 4stars we are supposed to explain what we didn't like about a writing.
But I do appreciate your review, thanks again.
Love
Pupa
Comment from AbigailDavid
Hello Pupa, very lovely free verse here. I think it is well written and beautifully presented. The topic is very different too, I don't think i have ever reviewed a poem about memory.
It is a fascinating subject, as memory is about who we really are. I had to think about it a lot for a story I wrote, a science fiction.
I have no suggestions for making your poem better, hence the five star review, best of luck with this poem, Abby
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Hello Pupa, very lovely free verse here. I think it is well written and beautifully presented. The topic is very different too, I don't think i have ever reviewed a poem about memory.
It is a fascinating subject, as memory is about who we really are. I had to think about it a lot for a story I wrote, a science fiction.
I have no suggestions for making your poem better, hence the five star review, best of luck with this poem, Abby
Comment Written 11-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Abby, I appreciate your comments and shining stars.
I am so glad you liked the subject.
Love
Pupa
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
PUPA, I suspect you are like me. You have ample memory, it's just RAM -- Random Access Memory. I just never know when I'm going to be able to access it. It's getting terrible and neither of us are that old. We just have too many things to remember and too many words we've not yet put on paper, I'm thinking. Good job.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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PUPA, I suspect you are like me. You have ample memory, it's just RAM -- Random Access Memory. I just never know when I'm going to be able to access it. It's getting terrible and neither of us are that old. We just have too many things to remember and too many words we've not yet put on paper, I'm thinking. Good job.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Jan, I am suffering from the short term memory, I always had a problem with the long term m anyway! So you can imagine the situation. I was also told that traumas have a lot to do with it.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me my friend.
Love
Pupa
Comment from empire76
I always like to read your Dear... letters. They are so interesting the stuff you come up with. I love the humour you've woven in... if only we could fire or or punish our memories. LOL
Empi
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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I always like to read your Dear... letters. They are so interesting the stuff you come up with. I love the humour you've woven in... if only we could fire or or punish our memories. LOL
Empi
Comment Written 11-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2008
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Empi, I greatly appreciate your very encouraging words about my letters. This is most rewarding and means a lot to me.
Love
Pupa
