The New Commandments
If I were God39 total reviews
Comment from Southern Writer
I can hear thunder from an approaching rain storm. Since you are threatening to use a thunderbolt on me, here is your review. Great story, wasn't too sure what some of the Queen's English's words were (queue), but didn't slow the story down for me. I guess it is the same all over, we all have idiots, no matter where you live.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2009
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I can hear thunder from an approaching rain storm. Since you are threatening to use a thunderbolt on me, here is your review. Great story, wasn't too sure what some of the Queen's English's words were (queue), but didn't slow the story down for me. I guess it is the same all over, we all have idiots, no matter where you live.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2009
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Thank you, I'm glad you liked it and that the proper spelling didn't detract from the story.
Comment from peggles
Hello,
Yes! Yes! Please hurry up a be God. I promise to worship you forever. I simply loved this. Very funny Well written and a joy to read
peggles
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2009
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Hello,
Yes! Yes! Please hurry up a be God. I promise to worship you forever. I simply loved this. Very funny Well written and a joy to read
peggles
Comment Written 04-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2009
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You're very kind. I'm working on the godhead thing. My body is already a temple. Unfortunately it's the Acropolis, a ruin.
Thanks for the review
Comment from Fishy
Fantastic story! I generally go for levity in my writing, but you've shown me that I need to push it a bit further. It's the best way to make points about people's behavior or the lack thereof. Not enough FanStory writers use humor to its best advantage.
Fishy
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2009
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Fantastic story! I generally go for levity in my writing, but you've shown me that I need to push it a bit further. It's the best way to make points about people's behavior or the lack thereof. Not enough FanStory writers use humor to its best advantage.
Fishy
Comment Written 03-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2009
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You're very kind. Humour is a tricky fella. Mine doesn't always travel well, sometimes not even across the room. I didn't set out to make this funny, but it seems it always creeps in. Thanks for your review and generous score.
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Oops, wait, I thought this was a review to another story. I did intend this to be funny.
Comment from msvijesh
Witty and sarcastic, you're definitely English. I bow to your observations. While the shopping cart and over loud phone / ipod users are common gripes, use of umbrellas, cyclists etc were new and interesting.
I love your writting style which is direct and easy to read while keeping the readers attentions.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2009
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Witty and sarcastic, you're definitely English. I bow to your observations. While the shopping cart and over loud phone / ipod users are common gripes, use of umbrellas, cyclists etc were new and interesting.
I love your writting style which is direct and easy to read while keeping the readers attentions.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2009
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You're very kind, thank you. Since I wrote this I've taken up cycling. I might have to revise this ;^)
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You're forgiven if it's without the lycra.
If it is, i'd request that you please get rid of the bicycle and get back to using those dangly things called legs :)
Comment from Si Brown
Fantastic! The best humour is that which says what we all think! I can almost hear you getting madder and madder as you wrote it!
This would make a great stand-up sketch!
I found myself nodding along and laughing out loud! The commuter train section was the point where my sides actually split!
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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Fantastic! The best humour is that which says what we all think! I can almost hear you getting madder and madder as you wrote it!
This would make a great stand-up sketch!
I found myself nodding along and laughing out loud! The commuter train section was the point where my sides actually split!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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Thank you. So I guess it's all downhill from here, then. I'm flattered by your review and generous score
Comment from Adri7enne
Well yes, I'm into withdrawals and back into your old stuff. Damn, this was so funny! So apt, in so many ways. The situations are real, and then of course, there's the smidgen of truth that you probably think you'd do a good job as God. Holster your thunderbolts, Odin. You're number 1 on site as far as I'm concerned. You're a great wit. I can easily see why you won this contest. I'm very envious of your talent. Hate you, just a tiny bit! LOL.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2009
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Well yes, I'm into withdrawals and back into your old stuff. Damn, this was so funny! So apt, in so many ways. The situations are real, and then of course, there's the smidgen of truth that you probably think you'd do a good job as God. Holster your thunderbolts, Odin. You're number 1 on site as far as I'm concerned. You're a great wit. I can easily see why you won this contest. I'm very envious of your talent. Hate you, just a tiny bit! LOL.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2009
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I found being aa manager of a dozen trainers onourous enough. I think I'll hold off on the job application for supreme being of the universe until I've finished the training course. Thanks for the review and glad you liked it.
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Good for you! You've got your priorities in order. By all means finish your training course, big wheel. Then, maybe if you have time, you can reconsider that position as Supreme Being. Don't forget the Peter Principle! LOL.
Comment from Rightwriter
I love it! The Commandments according to the new century and "GOD" how we need them LOL. Well put together and offered something for everyone! It put a five star smile on my face to start the day...THANKS!
Rightwriter
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2009
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I love it! The Commandments according to the new century and "GOD" how we need them LOL. Well put together and offered something for everyone! It put a five star smile on my face to start the day...THANKS!
Rightwriter
Comment Written 03-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2009
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You're very kind. You're also the second person today that seems to be rifling my back catalogue. I may have to go back myself and tart my old stories up.
Glad it raised a smile, which was what was intended.
Comment from wyodarling
I love your wit. I do think it might evoke more laughter if you presented your new commandments in a format similar to the originals...XXI, XXII, etc. Your commandments address universal "sins" endured by city dwellers on BOTH sides of the Atlantic!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2009
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I love your wit. I do think it might evoke more laughter if you presented your new commandments in a format similar to the originals...XXI, XXII, etc. Your commandments address universal "sins" endured by city dwellers on BOTH sides of the Atlantic!
Comment Written 15-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2009
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked it
Comment from Lynnde
Hi Snodlander,
I love this! I agree 10 commandments just don't cover it. Particularly liked the grocery store "thou shalt".
Wonderful job.
Best wishes,
Lynnde
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
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Hi Snodlander,
I love this! I agree 10 commandments just don't cover it. Particularly liked the grocery store "thou shalt".
Wonderful job.
Best wishes,
Lynnde
Comment Written 05-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2009
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from NUWRITERAT54
Glad to see that you won the contest, and I liked the story as well. There are a lot of good points to be learned from this. And about you being six feet 3 , try being six foot 7 as I an, my neck gets poked all the time.
Good luck with your writing.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2008
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Glad to see that you won the contest, and I liked the story as well. There are a lot of good points to be learned from this. And about you being six feet 3 , try being six foot 7 as I an, my neck gets poked all the time.
Good luck with your writing.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2008
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2008
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked it
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Your very welcome
