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Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Passed By (Haiku)"Miscellaneous
4 total reviews
Comment from Moira's Amethyst
"Sunny, sweet Sunday
soft memory lovestories.
Sweat sand of life, gone!"
This was a nice haiku. The descriptions all amounted to some nice imagery. I have nothing to critique and noticed no spag. I thank you for sharing. Best wishes~Kaff ~|: > )
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
"Sunny, sweet Sunday
soft memory lovestories.
Sweat sand of life, gone!"
This was a nice haiku. The descriptions all amounted to some nice imagery. I have nothing to critique and noticed no spag. I thank you for sharing. Best wishes~Kaff ~|: > )
Comment Written 20-Nov-2007
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
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Thank you for your kindness and interest in my poor words!
Comment from Morning Glory
Haiku at it's best, I say. This has imagery. Just about a whole story in a dozen words. Much imagery. Nice, soft, poetic words chosen. Excellent writing. Morning Glory
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
Haiku at it's best, I say. This has imagery. Just about a whole story in a dozen words. Much imagery. Nice, soft, poetic words chosen. Excellent writing. Morning Glory
Comment Written 20-Nov-2007
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
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Thank you for your kindness and interest in my poor words!Have a nice day!
Comment from Dawn London
It was interesting.
Was that pink box all of it? If so, I would say it is a little brief.
The subject was Sunday and the rest was obviously lost on me. I am sure you are a very good poet. I would like to see some longer works
Donna
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
It was interesting.
Was that pink box all of it? If so, I would say it is a little brief.
The subject was Sunday and the rest was obviously lost on me. I am sure you are a very good poet. I would like to see some longer works
Donna
Comment Written 20-Nov-2007
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
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Do you know what is a senryu? if so read it again and maybe you'll understand it better! Have a nice night!
Comment from kintesiegel
I think maybe you mean sweet rather than sweat. This is a good one. I really enjoyed it. rather than the one correct this is good
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
I think maybe you mean sweet rather than sweat. This is a good one. I really enjoyed it. rather than the one correct this is good
Comment Written 20-Nov-2007
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007
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It's sweat and not sweet as you want it to be.