Comment from Moira's Amethyst

Excellent

"Sunny, sweet Sunday
soft memory lovestories.
Sweat sand of life, gone!"

This was a nice haiku. The descriptions all amounted to some nice imagery. I have nothing to critique and noticed no spag. I thank you for sharing. Best wishes~Kaff ~|: > )

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007

Thank you for your kindness and interest in my poor words!

Comment from Morning Glory

Excellent

Haiku at it's best, I say. This has imagery. Just about a whole story in a dozen words. Much imagery. Nice, soft, poetic words chosen. Excellent writing. Morning Glory

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007

Thank you for your kindness and interest in my poor words!Have a nice day!

Comment from Dawn London

Average

It was interesting.
Was that pink box all of it? If so, I would say it is a little brief.
The subject was Sunday and the rest was obviously lost on me. I am sure you are a very good poet. I would like to see some longer works
Donna

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007

Do you know what is a senryu? if so read it again and maybe you'll understand it better! Have a nice night!

Comment from kintesiegel

Good

I think maybe you mean sweet rather than sweat. This is a good one. I really enjoyed it. rather than the one correct this is good

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2007

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2007

It's sweat and not sweet as you want it to be.