Comment from weirdcarbon

Excellent

Ah, well now, you see I'm not sure that tree-rustling stalkers necessarily deserve to get reviewed on international writers' web sites... oh, alright then ;)

I love the space in this song. Song lyrics is such different discipline to poetry (tell me about it!) In that the need to be able to breathe, and need space to live inside the music. This works very well in my mind, as the style of music you're described. Your rhyming scheme in this is spectacularly witty ;) Iove these lines in particular:

"There's a fortress inside of me
to keep out my enemy
it's never been built!" ... hmm. Could talk for England about this one... luvvvly stuff, you flippin' garden gate liiiiiirkio :O

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 19-Jun-2007

hehehe you cheeky thing you!
Glad to have an understanding ear and eye on the lyrics as I get sick of having to explain why the chorus "throws the rhyme and meter out!!"
For F Sake!!!

cheers scousey mouse!
grant

reply by weirdcarbon on 19-Jun-2007

Yeah - that is very irritating (the rhythm/meter explaination)

And yep. I suppose I am quite cheeky.

Comment from ooh baby

Excellent

keep that spirit of hope alive! This has a nice smooth rhythm, great rhymes and imagery. Sometimes we do hurt ourselves and then decide life is worth living...consequences can be bad...I really enjoyed reading this...it is thought provoking as you can see! You woke me up! Hahaha...

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 18-Jun-2007

Hi there my friend!
Thanks for the great words!
cheers
grant

Comment from Polly_Pisces

Excellent

I got a frontal lobotomy
it's bad for my memory
That's good for my guilt! --Oi! That has got to be one of the coolest things I have ever read..hehe...you are a wonderful talent...and have a nice taste for humor...well done..Pollyanna

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 16-Jun-2007

Hey Polly!
Very much gladness do I have for your likenessing of my coolness!! LOL
cheers
grant

Comment from poeticcat2003

Excellent

Great song in poetry. I loved it, especially the instrumental break(lol).
This was wonderful, I had to sing it to someone else, for sadly I didn't know the singers you made reference too.
Delightful

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 16-Jun-2007

Hi there Po Cat!
Thanks for the great effort and hands on approach!! hehe
cheers
grant

Comment from Martie

Excellent

Hi mrgrunty

I don't know you...but I love Tom Waits...he even wrote a song for my ..er ...name.."those were the days of roses, poetry and prose, and Martha all I had was you and all you had was me"....but my favorite..."my piano's been drinking, not me". See what you made me do...talk about tom instead of you...sorry. I do like what you said in your bio about commas...and agree! I enjoyed your song..nice to meet you. :)

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 15-Jun-2007

Hi there Martie!
Thanks for the appreciative ear.
cheers
grant

Comment from Alice Farnsworth

Excellent

Cheeky, fun and deep! I love it. Wish I could hear the music though! This is the second time this morning I'm saying this. (Shakes her head in disbelief!) It is hard for me to judge lyrics without the music. The music brings the lyrics to life. I do like the ideas. Alice

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 15-Jun-2007

Hi Alice
Thanks for the honesty and still reviewing inspite of the frustration! LOL
I appreciate it!
cheers grant
p-s if I can work out my technology, I'll try to put the melodies with the lyrics

Comment from Swtdreamz

Excellent

I got a frontal lobotomy
it's bad for my memory - what's a lobotomy right now? for the moment too lazy to check...it must be the heat...

I got a gunshot reminding me
of cowardly memories- ah...those we so fervently wish to forget

There's a smile that's inside of me
inspite of my enemy
I need it to live...- of course- never let it die inside you
good job

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 15-Jun-2007

Hi there swt
Nice to see from you again!
Glad ya liked it
Maybe I'll hang around.. LOL
cheers
grant

Comment from Phill-Phonics

Excellent

Nicely done. This is a good song/poem. Thought your words flowed well and your rhythm was good. Thank you very much for sharing this. -Phill

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 15-Jun-2007

Hi Phill
You are very much welcome!
And thank YOU for reading and replying!
cheers mate
grant

Comment from cheshire blue

Excellent

Another of your pieces that I can almost hear being played in my head. Slick and smooth in its delivery.
Interesting subject matter, and good flow through out.

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 15-Jun-2007

Thank you Chesh Cat
I am very smiling that you enjoyed the song and one day hope to actually make it a fully blown effort...along with the very many others!! hehe
cheers
grant

Comment from Trena One Who Cares

Exceptional

Hi MG this song has very interesting song lyrics the first verse ends in rhyme the last verse does not. The chorus repeats and has no rhythm or rhyme I can find . Maybe its the style of music or something. Just my opinion. Trena

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2007

---

reply by the author on 15-Jun-2007

Hi Trena
Thanks for the Fantastic rating and review!!
Very cool.
Hope you can find my other writings equally enjoyable.
cheers
grant