O Evils!
5-7-5. Short-lived dark pleasure or long-lived white joy?186 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
Interesting use of the haiku format (though I must admit with the photo and the reference to short lived it was James Dean that sprang to mind, rather than Elvis). However, I find the last line ambiguous....is it a reference to drugs, or spiritual purity, I ask myself. And to be truthful, I could not decide as I did not feel the preceding 2 lines interconnected well enough with the final line to guide me. I suspect the intent is If (only he had) tasted white joy! But I do not feel on solid ground with that interpretation. On the other hand, I applaud the feeling conveyed by the poem, as well as the attempt to force introspection.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2013
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Interesting use of the haiku format (though I must admit with the photo and the reference to short lived it was James Dean that sprang to mind, rather than Elvis). However, I find the last line ambiguous....is it a reference to drugs, or spiritual purity, I ask myself. And to be truthful, I could not decide as I did not feel the preceding 2 lines interconnected well enough with the final line to guide me. I suspect the intent is If (only he had) tasted white joy! But I do not feel on solid ground with that interpretation. On the other hand, I applaud the feeling conveyed by the poem, as well as the attempt to force introspection.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2013
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THANKS.
Comment from mizzkris20
With only a few words you manage to get your point across without boring the reader. It is very original and I'm a fan of 5/7/5 poems. Great job
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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With only a few words you manage to get your point across without boring the reader. It is very original and I'm a fan of 5/7/5 poems. Great job
Comment Written 02-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR NICE REVIEW.
Comment from Janet Foor
Not sure if your going with dark is evil and white is pure and good. I guess it depends on the interpretation of humanity. This has a sad tone.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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Not sure if your going with dark is evil and white is pure and good. I guess it depends on the interpretation of humanity. This has a sad tone.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 02-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR NICE REVIEW.
Comment from Hudblack
Short lived
The black, beautiful it is
Inside
The push outside
The wicked way you write of seeing the white
The only way it is
Even when it has to be hidden
Keep it inside
No one has to know
The best of things you keep hidden
Behind black and white
Bars behind your eyes...
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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Short lived
The black, beautiful it is
Inside
The push outside
The wicked way you write of seeing the white
The only way it is
Even when it has to be hidden
Keep it inside
No one has to know
The best of things you keep hidden
Behind black and white
Bars behind your eyes...
Comment Written 02-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR PRAISEWORTHY REVIEW.
Comment from Allison78
This is a very thought provoking poem you have written. I think this is very subjective, one person's white joy may still be someone else's black pleasure.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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This is a very thought provoking poem you have written. I think this is very subjective, one person's white joy may still be someone else's black pleasure.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR COMMENDABLE REVIEW.
Comment from Gypsy Starchild
This is a beautiful little ponder... It inspires deep thought in only seventeen syllables... Great job! I like this little poem a lot.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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This is a beautiful little ponder... It inspires deep thought in only seventeen syllables... Great job! I like this little poem a lot.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR THIS REVIEW.
Comment from Gloria ....
Hey AC, I like the layout on this one. I think the word you might be looking for is elusive though, not illusive, but I might also be wrong. Wouldn't be the second time. Definitely has the look of dark sinful pleasures not resulting in anything long term or whitely good.
It's been my pleasure to read and review.
Gloria
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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Hey AC, I like the layout on this one. I think the word you might be looking for is elusive though, not illusive, but I might also be wrong. Wouldn't be the second time. Definitely has the look of dark sinful pleasures not resulting in anything long term or whitely good.
It's been my pleasure to read and review.
Gloria
Comment Written 02-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR SUGGESTIVE REVIEW.
Comment from Celestina Waters
I really liked your 5-7-5... it could have been about any young person drinking in the other side of life, while others watched in awe and an almost jealousy that they could not dance the night away. That is what this poem made me feel. Excellent!
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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I really liked your 5-7-5... it could have been about any young person drinking in the other side of life, while others watched in awe and an almost jealousy that they could not dance the night away. That is what this poem made me feel. Excellent!
Comment Written 01-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR HONEST REVIEW.
Comment from Frank Atwood
Very dark, deep and full of truth. The world is a kaleidoscope of dark pleasures, which we all taste now and then.
Yet there are many who know where this world is in scope of life and all, thus the darkness they enjoy is never ending, as they enjoy life to the fullest and their darkness becomes their light which they follow to the depth of the abyss, where truth is scarce and lies rule.
Very good. Had to share my two-cent's worth. God bless and keep writing.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2013
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Very dark, deep and full of truth. The world is a kaleidoscope of dark pleasures, which we all taste now and then.
Yet there are many who know where this world is in scope of life and all, thus the darkness they enjoy is never ending, as they enjoy life to the fullest and their darkness becomes their light which they follow to the depth of the abyss, where truth is scarce and lies rule.
Very good. Had to share my two-cent's worth. God bless and keep writing.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR PROFESSIONAL REVIEW.
Comment from emjaihammond
As always, I am thinking this one through. Your poems are always thought provoking. Is the reference to "dark, illusive, black pleasure" and "white joy" a spiritual one? This one is growing on me as I think about it. Truly well done.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2013
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As always, I am thinking this one through. Your poems are always thought provoking. Is the reference to "dark, illusive, black pleasure" and "white joy" a spiritual one? This one is growing on me as I think about it. Truly well done.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2013
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THANKS FOR QUEST REVIEW.
