Comment from Rondeno

Average

Who determines if a pleasure (which you suggest is inherently evil) is black or white? "If tasted white joy!" Does this actually mean anything?

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013

THANKS.

Comment from Galactia

Excellent

Happy with short-lived
Dark, illusive, black pleasure?
If tasted white joy!

great little poem reflecting Elvis.

just a suggestion.

1st line : (Happy with short-lived) change it to...

(Happy with short life)

great job

Regards
Tia

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013

THANKS FOR SUGGESTIVE REVIEW.

Comment from Cedar

Excellent

Our lives can be filled with evil things if we choose to live within dark pleasures and seeking demon thoughts and actions, even short-lived. However, as you said, life can be a wonderful thing if we keep a strong faith in God, so that we can taste the white joy brought about by eternal life.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013

THANKS FOR SUGGESTIVE REVIEW.

Comment from guinea

Excellent

This is quite good work here.Your words flow smoothly and with heart. You say a lot with so few words. Evil cannot win in the end.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013

THANKS FOR EXPRESSIVE REVIEW.

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

I interpret this as a reference to people who get pleasure from evil acts. Thugs who find pleasure in unjustified violence. Certain films such as 'Goodfellas' portray Joe Pesci as such a person. 'Reservoir Dogs' is another example. Sadistic actions that give pleasure and satisfaction. This piece of writing is very clever but not easy to understand. Well written though. Regards

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013

THANKS FOR COMMENDABLE REVIEW.

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

How very true that a majority are thinking only of present pleasure. While I don't condone suffering for the future, I think a balance between the two is important. Debbie

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013

THANKS FOR SUGGESTIVE REVIEW.

Comment from Nebukadneser

Excellent

Well done, my friend for yet another brilliant writ filled with wisdom, as we as humans love to eat forbidden fruit, and then convince ourselves I was white joy.
Well done
You're a star
Cool bananas and warm regards
Nebukadneser

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013

THANKS FOR CREATIVE REVIEWS.

Comment from rhymelord

Average

I believe that for poetry to be effective in carrying a message, it must be understandable and, preferably, have grammatical and syntactical sense. I can understand the first statement/question, although the use of "Dark" and "black" in as adjectives to the same noun is surely a tautology. "If tasted white joy!", I am afraid, has no meaning in itself and no apparent relation to the first statement.
Sorry, but this needs considerable work.
Regards
Reg

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013

THANKS.

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, alcreator, you did an excellent job writing this 5 7 5 poem about experiencing darkness after finding joy. i enjoyed reading this one....

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013

THANKS FOR CREATIVE REVIEW.

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

"Happy with short-lived
Dark, illusive, black pleasure?
If tasted white joy!"
live fast, die young. where does the white try to engage?
thank you for sharing!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013

THANKS FOR NICE REVIEW.