Oh Life!
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Shouldn't Man Achieve Human Rank Status?"Experiences of living
132 total reviews
Comment from Norbanus
That's the human, keep consumin'
mankind turns a new leaf
Elected dog or sometime hog
turns out to be a thief
But then again, we might just win
when rules are not too brief
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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That's the human, keep consumin'
mankind turns a new leaf
Elected dog or sometime hog
turns out to be a thief
But then again, we might just win
when rules are not too brief
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for great poetic review
Comment from Righteous Riter
The message is clear in gets to the mind of the reader. The writer is very direct in where the writer is taking this message. This piece has a deep and intriguing feel.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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The message is clear in gets to the mind of the reader. The writer is very direct in where the writer is taking this message. This piece has a deep and intriguing feel.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for fine review
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, alcreator, you did an excellent job writing this acrostic poem as well, i can't say i agree with your views but you write them in a good poetic format
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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this is very well written, alcreator, you did an excellent job writing this acrostic poem as well, i can't say i agree with your views but you write them in a good poetic format
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for nice review
Comment from LadyCosgrove
I read this (and it is 'technically' very well written), then I read the reviews. So intrigued was I to see what kind of reactions this might initiate.
Why wasn't I surprised to see that only one reader was considerate enough to be totally honest? Could it be that most only reacted to what little they understood amid all the waffle... or maybe they just opted for the member dollars, thinking it was way over their heads but reluctant to say so? Either way, you have merely flung your creative juices across the page without taking your audience into account. A good writer would do well to respect and cater for all of their potential readers - Otherwise, what is the point.
I suggest a re-write. The theme is a good one and basic element is sound - but it needs to be approachable.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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I read this (and it is 'technically' very well written), then I read the reviews. So intrigued was I to see what kind of reactions this might initiate.
Why wasn't I surprised to see that only one reader was considerate enough to be totally honest? Could it be that most only reacted to what little they understood amid all the waffle... or maybe they just opted for the member dollars, thinking it was way over their heads but reluctant to say so? Either way, you have merely flung your creative juices across the page without taking your audience into account. A good writer would do well to respect and cater for all of their potential readers - Otherwise, what is the point.
I suggest a re-write. The theme is a good one and basic element is sound - but it needs to be approachable.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Alcreator,
The poem is skillfully written praising the accomplishments of humankind. Our technology is beyond belief, and our civilation is the most educated and accomplished in history. We have made for ourselves idols of planes, cars, TV, and the Internet to name a few.
Our world is ruled by warmongers who place little or no value to human life, as long as they have their palaces and positions of power. We have enough nuclear weapons to wipe out all life on the earth, and we continue to build more. We have created new and horrendous diseases with which to kill our perceived enemies. The wars destroy families, cultures, and populations...for what? I question, does this deserves human status?
Your story has great imagery and gives the mind much to think about. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Curtis
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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Alcreator,
The poem is skillfully written praising the accomplishments of humankind. Our technology is beyond belief, and our civilation is the most educated and accomplished in history. We have made for ourselves idols of planes, cars, TV, and the Internet to name a few.
Our world is ruled by warmongers who place little or no value to human life, as long as they have their palaces and positions of power. We have enough nuclear weapons to wipe out all life on the earth, and we continue to build more. We have created new and horrendous diseases with which to kill our perceived enemies. The wars destroy families, cultures, and populations...for what? I question, does this deserves human status?
Your story has great imagery and gives the mind much to think about. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Curtis
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for true professional review
Comment from Ekim777
My dear Sir, having struggled your metaphysical piece I can't help thinking that simplicity is the highest form of wisdom. It is our precious minds that complicates things. Do you realize how confined our minds really are. What about the genius of intuition; or the peace that passeth understanding. I think I am impressed by your erudition but are you not a product of Western civilization. It seems, in my humble opinion that you are a very civilized man when to me our civilization is a resounding failure and we might have regressed 2,000 years. Some may comfort themselves by thinking we are the acme of all life. I think we overrate ourselves. Mind you, just by reading your final verse, maybe you might understand my cynicism. It seems you view God in a positive light. I say God might have cheated us. He blessed us with the imagination to do great things and not enough time to complete them. As for me, I don't even understand what faith is. I can understand Freud when he says; "All life is a detour towards our death. Be well.
Ekim777
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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My dear Sir, having struggled your metaphysical piece I can't help thinking that simplicity is the highest form of wisdom. It is our precious minds that complicates things. Do you realize how confined our minds really are. What about the genius of intuition; or the peace that passeth understanding. I think I am impressed by your erudition but are you not a product of Western civilization. It seems, in my humble opinion that you are a very civilized man when to me our civilization is a resounding failure and we might have regressed 2,000 years. Some may comfort themselves by thinking we are the acme of all life. I think we overrate ourselves. Mind you, just by reading your final verse, maybe you might understand my cynicism. It seems you view God in a positive light. I say God might have cheated us. He blessed us with the imagination to do great things and not enough time to complete them. As for me, I don't even understand what faith is. I can understand Freud when he says; "All life is a detour towards our death. Be well.
Ekim777
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for professional review
much appreciated
Comment from garrymc5
Very ambitious objectives. Laudable. But (there is always a but)...
'The Book of Poetry onTrue Experiences of Life in Living contains poems in different structures. It discovers the experiences, experimental and observatory feelings of life in diverse courses in dimensional perspectives or approaches of human living.; this can be said as "Poetry, written in diifferent styles, reflecting live experiences. Saying something in many, many words is pompous and confusing, and oftern non-sensical. Avoid verbosity- Rule one. Be humble (my rule two. Look, learn, think, feel and value before speaking or writing- Rule three.
By the way, what is 'traditional, orthodox,; is varied, culture by culture,. Nothing unexplained about it. It is build in culture and history, religion included. So, you see, there are 'rules' to writing too. Learn them. Good writing is hard work.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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Very ambitious objectives. Laudable. But (there is always a but)...
'The Book of Poetry onTrue Experiences of Life in Living contains poems in different structures. It discovers the experiences, experimental and observatory feelings of life in diverse courses in dimensional perspectives or approaches of human living.; this can be said as "Poetry, written in diifferent styles, reflecting live experiences. Saying something in many, many words is pompous and confusing, and oftern non-sensical. Avoid verbosity- Rule one. Be humble (my rule two. Look, learn, think, feel and value before speaking or writing- Rule three.
By the way, what is 'traditional, orthodox,; is varied, culture by culture,. Nothing unexplained about it. It is build in culture and history, religion included. So, you see, there are 'rules' to writing too. Learn them. Good writing is hard work.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks
Comment from Florrie
I see that the first word of every stanza is the acrostic followed word. This is a very good method of writing an acrostic and I enjoyed the message. Keep up the good work! florrie
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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I see that the first word of every stanza is the acrostic followed word. This is a very good method of writing an acrostic and I enjoyed the message. Keep up the good work! florrie
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for good review
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You are most welcome. florrie
Comment from Sanku
This is a very unusual poem .butwhat ever you said is true .i dont where our education .or any progress that matters lead ing us.But i have a suggestion. there too many points here may be it should make two different poems.then it would be easier to understand.i am happy to read your work .will go to your page again.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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This is a very unusual poem .butwhat ever you said is true .i dont where our education .or any progress that matters lead ing us.But i have a suggestion. there too many points here may be it should make two different poems.then it would be easier to understand.i am happy to read your work .will go to your page again.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for nice professional review
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hi ALCREATOR,
An interesting write. I hope I understand what you are saying.??
Yes it is very disturbing to think that man can feel important and significant in this world without the help of God.
This piece indeed made me ponder on each word.
gert
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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Hi ALCREATOR,
An interesting write. I hope I understand what you are saying.??
Yes it is very disturbing to think that man can feel important and significant in this world without the help of God.
This piece indeed made me ponder on each word.
gert
Comment Written 28-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2013
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thanks for good review
sorry for being late
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You are welcome
Smiles see you later.
Gert
