O My God and Mother Nature!
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Ol' Wave!"Appreciation of God and Mother Nature
89 total reviews
Comment from Homespring
AL---you have described some thoughtful images. But, I' sorry I have to be brutally honest here. This reads like my "things to do list". In my opinion, poetry should be enjoyable to read. It should make contact with one's sense and set them reeling. The poem's tone is drab and flat. The last line of your poem is very good. Perhaps you can take this line and create something unforgettable. If you have to explain to your readers what you are trying to say, you haven't said it very well. Forget the syllables and start with rhythm and meter. Your poems flow comes to a dead-end with eash line. Thanks, Homespring
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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AL---you have described some thoughtful images. But, I' sorry I have to be brutally honest here. This reads like my "things to do list". In my opinion, poetry should be enjoyable to read. It should make contact with one's sense and set them reeling. The poem's tone is drab and flat. The last line of your poem is very good. Perhaps you can take this line and create something unforgettable. If you have to explain to your readers what you are trying to say, you haven't said it very well. Forget the syllables and start with rhythm and meter. Your poems flow comes to a dead-end with eash line. Thanks, Homespring
Comment Written 12-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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THANKS FOR THIS EXCLUSIVE REVIEW, OF SEVENTY, I NEVER WONDER.
Comment from Renee' J Thomas
This is a very interesting take on how we cope with life's calamities.
I think it read well
The picture goes very well with this poem. It is a gorgeous picture anyway!
I think you did a good job on this one.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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This is a very interesting take on how we cope with life's calamities.
I think it read well
The picture goes very well with this poem. It is a gorgeous picture anyway!
I think you did a good job on this one.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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THANKS A LOT FOR THIS REVIEW I DO APPRECIATE MUCH.
Comment from Dklrdmcches
a very creative piece you have written here. striking language which made the reader jump back and notice. I enjoyed the imagery in the piece as well. great job...dklrd
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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a very creative piece you have written here. striking language which made the reader jump back and notice. I enjoyed the imagery in the piece as well. great job...dklrd
Comment Written 12-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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THANKS A LOT FOR THIS NICE REVIEW I DO APPRECIATE.
Comment from lkdunny
This piece is definitely different. I read and re-read to get the just of the of what the author was trying to relate, without reading the authors notes. I did this purposely, I like to see how the reading makes me feel, what I get from the piece as I read it, I like to absorb the words as though there were no notes. I did this, and I have to say it was hard to get the full jest of what the author was trying to empathize. I do this because, most/many poets do not have the luxury of giving their reads a per view/directions on how to read their words/work. I see that you are working this piece into a book, I'd like look at some others to see some of the different structure/styles you have mention so I can get acquainted with some new/fresh view points on writing. After reading your author notes, the piece makes sense and is understandable. But without the notes, this piece leaves the reader a bit lost, causing a some brain bruising, from really, really working over time. I'm all for different and new/fresh styles, so I look forward to reading more of your work in this book. Good luck with your book and its success. lkdunny
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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This piece is definitely different. I read and re-read to get the just of the of what the author was trying to relate, without reading the authors notes. I did this purposely, I like to see how the reading makes me feel, what I get from the piece as I read it, I like to absorb the words as though there were no notes. I did this, and I have to say it was hard to get the full jest of what the author was trying to empathize. I do this because, most/many poets do not have the luxury of giving their reads a per view/directions on how to read their words/work. I see that you are working this piece into a book, I'd like look at some others to see some of the different structure/styles you have mention so I can get acquainted with some new/fresh view points on writing. After reading your author notes, the piece makes sense and is understandable. But without the notes, this piece leaves the reader a bit lost, causing a some brain bruising, from really, really working over time. I'm all for different and new/fresh styles, so I look forward to reading more of your work in this book. Good luck with your book and its success. lkdunny
Comment Written 12-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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THANK YOU.
Comment from Poetically Speaking
I like the unique phrasing expressed in this poem. Your language is definitely imaginative and innovative, but I think the form you've chosen (the double-space) and the lack of enjambment makes the poem reads a little like a list. Of course, this is just my opinion, for others may feel totally different. Overall, you have crafted a good poem. Enjoyed the read.
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Update:
You are right. I love it. I have changed my rating accordingly.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2006
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I like the unique phrasing expressed in this poem. Your language is definitely imaginative and innovative, but I think the form you've chosen (the double-space) and the lack of enjambment makes the poem reads a little like a list. Of course, this is just my opinion, for others may feel totally different. Overall, you have crafted a good poem. Enjoyed the read.
*******************************************'
Update:
You are right. I love it. I have changed my rating accordingly.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2006
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Thanks for this review. If you re-look you may like it, much better.now.
Comment from cutie
Ho! This poem watering burning worrying spirits! Well-inspired thoughts and harmonical picture says very well getting-well story!!!!!!!
THKS SIR!
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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Ho! This poem watering burning worrying spirits! Well-inspired thoughts and harmonical picture says very well getting-well story!!!!!!!
THKS SIR!
Comment Written 12-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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THANKS A LOT FOR THIS REVIEW I DO APPRECIATE.
Comment from DEEPTI GUPTA
This tiny poems speaks volumes...........! The picture above it helps in explaining the poet's emotions and subtle feelings instantly.
" Keep water rage in your grip "
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Their homes re-breathe off shore now
Faiths find sunshine help sprout genes
Lives smile fading ol' dark days ! "
The writer has said so much in these few words ... that becomes a thing of realisation and deep feeling.
Heaps of warm wishes for such more creations !
Deepti
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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This tiny poems speaks volumes...........! The picture above it helps in explaining the poet's emotions and subtle feelings instantly.
" Keep water rage in your grip "
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Their homes re-breathe off shore now
Faiths find sunshine help sprout genes
Lives smile fading ol' dark days ! "
The writer has said so much in these few words ... that becomes a thing of realisation and deep feeling.
Heaps of warm wishes for such more creations !
Deepti
Comment Written 12-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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THANKS A LOT FOR THIS NICE REVIEW I DO APPRECIATE MUCH.
Comment from onewithchrist
I enjoyed the imagery in this poem, very lovely, and creative. I also thought that the picture fit the writing very well and overall I found it to be enjoyable. Keep up the excellent work and God bless.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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I enjoyed the imagery in this poem, very lovely, and creative. I also thought that the picture fit the writing very well and overall I found it to be enjoyable. Keep up the excellent work and God bless.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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THANKS A LOT FOR THIS NICE REVIEW I DO APPRECIATE MUCH.
Comment from rivki1111
Hi, I see that you have written this to a criteria...that is always hard for me so good job with that!
The poem is nicely published with the graphic which suits the work.It is always hard for people who have suffered at the hands of nature...natural catastrophes that occur everywhere probably on a daily basis...we just don't know about them all.
I thought you reflected that relationship we have with forces bigger ourselves...thanks for sharing your work with me, it was enjoyable to read and think about what you have written....cheers rivki
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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Hi, I see that you have written this to a criteria...that is always hard for me so good job with that!
The poem is nicely published with the graphic which suits the work.It is always hard for people who have suffered at the hands of nature...natural catastrophes that occur everywhere probably on a daily basis...we just don't know about them all.
I thought you reflected that relationship we have with forces bigger ourselves...thanks for sharing your work with me, it was enjoyable to read and think about what you have written....cheers rivki
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2006
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2006
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THANKS A LOT FOR THIS TRUE, HONEST, FAIR, LITERARY PROFESSIONAL REVIEW WITH GOOD ORDER OF APPRECIATE I DO APPRECIATE MUCH.
YOUR COMPREHENSIVE AND THOUGHTFUL REVIEW IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED.
