Reviews from

The Unwilling Heir

Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "The Unwilling Heir - Chap 22"
A Mysterious Inheritance and Murders

16 total reviews 
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
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It keeps on getting better with each chapter. I especially enjoyed this, Esther, that you recently introduced us to readers. I find your story unique and enjoyable.

 Comment Written 20-May-2024


reply by the author on 23-May-2024
    It's different for sure. My mind wonders in different places every time I start to write. Glad you are still enjoying it.
    Thanks as always....Smiles, Carol
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
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Beautiful parallel between the life of both women and a nice way to show that no matter what there is still place for redemption. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.

 Comment Written 20-May-2024


reply by the author on 20-May-2024
    Oh, Iza, Thank you so much for jumping back into the story. It's been a strange one to write but fun as well. I appreciate your thoughts and review.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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So Esther can be the one who makes everything right, if she can bring William out of his incoherent state. You might add William to your cast of characters.

 Comment Written 19-May-2024


reply by the author on 20-May-2024
    I think it might take more than Esther, but I believe she will be the one to find the clues from William. It will take more than one person to decipher them and trace them down. Thanks for catching that...I'd left him out at first because I didn't want the reader to realize we had a grandfather and a grandson with the same name. Then of course, my brain forgot to put him in. Good catch, my friend.
    Have a great day!
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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Esther sounds as though she really needs full release. The interactions between the ghostly figures all reveal a little more of the complex puzzle you have created. Hopefully Sandra will return, understand and sort out the complexities of the past, and bring relief and healing to all who genuinely seek it.
Wendy

 Comment Written 19-May-2024


reply by the author on 19-May-2024
    Good morning, Wendy!
    I think you might enjoy the next chapter... and you will learn what Sandra's thoughts are on what is unfolding. Thanks for the review and Have a great day!
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I hoping all these trapped sould looking for salvation will find it. I assume Sarah will be the one to find ther treasure and help with their leaving thre house for paradise. You are doing a great job witht the story.

 Comment Written 18-May-2024


reply by the author on 19-May-2024
    I think you meant Sandra...but regardless...I believe the next chapter might clarify Sandra's intentions. Hope you enjoy it. Thank you for the awesome thoughts and for the stars. I greatly appreciate them. Have a great day!
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Julie Helms
Excellent
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I wanna see the notebook and the incoherent ramblings!! Sounds like a fine puzzle. So, though William disintegrated under Victoria's attack, he's still around in some form. Very interesting!

A suggestion for a pretty insignificant reword:
Men were quick to find me, especially one particular one.
(...especially one in particular.)

Great chapter!
Julie

 Comment Written 18-May-2024


reply by the author on 18-May-2024
    Good catch! That sounds better.... Trying to get this next chapter done for tomorrow but my eyes are getting blurry. Probably have to finish it in the morning. With William being a ghost (and the center of the ghost world) I didn't think he could get killed again if he was already dead, so he vaporized and the whispering ghosts in the walls rescued him and brought him to Sebastian. Sounds rational to me...but then I doubt I am ever rational. LOL I'm working on those clues.... they've got be a little stumped on how we follow one after another to find the treasure....I suppose something will come to me.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
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This is interesting. The ghost story seems to be taking on a slight turn with a celestial being sent from above to help redeem lost souls. It seems the ghosts of the mansion and their backstory are far more important than the heir. I'm cheering for Esther. She's suffered great pain.

 Comment Written 18-May-2024


reply by the author on 18-May-2024
    In one or two more chapters, Sandra will find herself embroiled in the darkness. But I must admit, the story breathes its own life and has taken me in a way I had never imagined. I can guarantee in the beginning none of this was in my notes....That's how I write though. Letting things develop as I go. Lorrie should be with us soon too.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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I'll have a six for tomorrow's chapter!!!! LOL. This is amazing! I do hope Esther is the one to free them all and free herself from all the pain she has suffered. Perhaps she will see William and her son again. That would be so nice. This story gets better with every chapter, my friend. Well done again! Love and hugs, Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 18-May-2024


reply by the author on 18-May-2024
    So sweet of you....I hoped people wouldn't be bored that the story has taken a bit of a twist and slowed down for a few chapters. Not to fear, more is yet to come. I can't write a story with all evil and gore. I've got to touch a few hearts here and there. Even if it is only through my characters.

    I'm about two thirds of the way through the next chapter. Esther decides whether she will meet William. That's a tough one for her.

    And I think it's time to bring Sandra back into the game. People are worried that she was the star (the Unwilling Heir) but what can I say...the story changed a bit. I'm trying to please the whole crew.

    Thanks so much for reading these chapters and of course always encouraging me.
    Smiles, hugs, and lots of love, Carol

    PS. Hope your face is feeling better.
Comment from Esther Brown
Excellent
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Oh boy. I only wondered about William's one "massive lock of hair"? Other than that tiny interruption to my train of thought I was with you all the way. I am cheering for Esther to take a chance...what has she got to lose? Esther

 Comment Written 17-May-2024


reply by the author on 18-May-2024
    My brain was thinking of a giant curl on top of his head, but I guess it didn't come out exactly like that. LOL I'll change it to locks of hair (curly head). Thanks so much and keep enjoying.
    Smiles, Carol
reply by Esther Brown on 18-May-2024
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Sebastian is someone who is acquainted with God, and someone who cares as God cares. He says William can be a source of salvation and peace for her. Beautifully
Written Carol, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 17-May-2024


reply by the author on 18-May-2024
    As you see Roy, I can't even write creepy ghostly stuff with out leaving a message with the crowd. I just happens that way.... and I hope someone finds the message and takes it to heart. These two chapters of kindness and the love of God weren't planned...but I am sure glad they happened.
    Thanks so much, Roy.
    Smiles, Carol
reply by royowen on 18-May-2024
    You're a good girl Carol
reply by the author on 18-May-2024
    Thank you! I appreciate your kindness. I've had a bad day and you made me smile.
    Hugs, Carol
reply by royowen on 18-May-2024
    Be blessed Carol