Embarrassment
I dropped the shotput2 total reviews
Comment from Mark Jackson
Oops, I feel for you when I was at school those things were made out of iron. I have seen training ones since which are not so solid. I am afraid you might not have read the contest properly. The idea was to just use dialogue and only half of it at that. No expedition was allowed.
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
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Oops, I feel for you when I was at school those things were made out of iron. I have seen training ones since which are not so solid. I am afraid you might not have read the contest properly. The idea was to just use dialogue and only half of it at that. No expedition was allowed.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
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thanks Mark It wasn't the half a dialogue contest
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Oh, got that wrong then sorry.
Comment from Natureschild
You provide a candid glimpse into the discomfort of someone who suffers from the fear of embarrassment. I admire your courage to participate despite knowing you could not win. I liked your story, but I think you need a '?' at the end of this line, "I didn't have a chance of winning, and that cemented it, didn't it." You have used the wrong verb tense in 'I went to the First Aid room, and they think I could have broken something.' The word 'think' should be 'thought' to be consistent with the past tense. The word 'really' is repeated several times. Try and find some alternatives or consider whether it is necessary in the context of your story.
I hope you find this review constructive. - Terry
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
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You provide a candid glimpse into the discomfort of someone who suffers from the fear of embarrassment. I admire your courage to participate despite knowing you could not win. I liked your story, but I think you need a '?' at the end of this line, "I didn't have a chance of winning, and that cemented it, didn't it." You have used the wrong verb tense in 'I went to the First Aid room, and they think I could have broken something.' The word 'think' should be 'thought' to be consistent with the past tense. The word 'really' is repeated several times. Try and find some alternatives or consider whether it is necessary in the context of your story.
I hope you find this review constructive. - Terry
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
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Thanks for pointing out those errors, Natureschild
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You're welcome
