Comment from nomi338

Excellent

This is a very well written piece. It flows well and is very believable. I noticed a few typos that can easily be fixed. I don't know how long you have been writing, but I must stress the importance of good editing. I use Microsoft Word, and I have my writing read to me by its AI reader, listening to the reading often surprises me with little things I either misspell or left out completely, a good lookover also helps.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2024

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reply by the author on 09-May-2024

Thank you Nomi388. I appreciate the advice. Sometimes I don?t always catch all of the typos I make. Usually, I?m a pretty good speller, but it would help if I used my spell checker. Sometimes it tries to correct my names, or something that I misspell on purpose. But I?ll use it anyway. I?m glad you enjoy the story, please stay tuned. There will be more to come. Happy reading.

Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

This is a bit long. I'd suggest breaking something this long down to three or four chapters going forward. The writing is strong. Kara's feeling come through so well. I love how she feels about Michael. You do a wonderful job with internal and external dialogue. This was very enjoyable to read.

 Comment Written 21-Apr-2024

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024

Thank you Michael. I think I will do that. Some of my upcoming chapters are kind of long. I never thought about it until recently.