Survived, But New Fear Unlocked
Surviving violence but fearing my escape is a dream.3 total reviews
Comment from kahpot
A powerful story, I cannot help with the skills of prose, grammar, or punctuation, so I only go on the story, and I like the way you have added fear to fear itself, very well done, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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A powerful story, I cannot help with the skills of prose, grammar, or punctuation, so I only go on the story, and I like the way you have added fear to fear itself, very well done, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Thank you for your feedback!
Comment from Bill Schott
Wow! This story, Survived, But New Fear Unlocked, is a truly horrifying event that would drive anyone insane, thinking she is in the middle of her own grisly murder. I see it is listed as fiction, which I hope it is, but the competition doesn't specify nonfiction.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Wow! This story, Survived, But New Fear Unlocked, is a truly horrifying event that would drive anyone insane, thinking she is in the middle of her own grisly murder. I see it is listed as fiction, which I hope it is, but the competition doesn't specify nonfiction.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the wow!
Comment from CornishChick
I rated this story with 5 stars for content. Unfortunately, thousands can and will relate to this story. to gain even more impact, learn to write active, not passive. Put your thoughts into italics - that puts the reader inside your head - rather than write, 'I thought'. Show the reader your panic, don't tell or explain it. Let the reader into your heart to feel the panic, the terror, don't explain it. I hope that makes sense. This piece deserves to be honed because the message is real. Also, I wouldn't add the personal "happy ending" sentences at the end. I'm happy you have experienced your happy ending, however, let the story stand on its own. Keep writing! It's very therapeutic!
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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I rated this story with 5 stars for content. Unfortunately, thousands can and will relate to this story. to gain even more impact, learn to write active, not passive. Put your thoughts into italics - that puts the reader inside your head - rather than write, 'I thought'. Show the reader your panic, don't tell or explain it. Let the reader into your heart to feel the panic, the terror, don't explain it. I hope that makes sense. This piece deserves to be honed because the message is real. Also, I wouldn't add the personal "happy ending" sentences at the end. I'm happy you have experienced your happy ending, however, let the story stand on its own. Keep writing! It's very therapeutic!
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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I appreciate your feedback. I have taken notes. Thank you.
