Avert Not Thine Eyes
Phenomenon5 total reviews
Comment from Glena Jessee-King
This is a fine creation composed of five syllables in the first line; seven in the second; and five in the third line about a topic occurring on the eighth of April, the first complete eclipse for numerous years. Many traveled to one of the areas where they could view the "once in a lifetime for some" better. The world in shadows has at least two meanings, in my opinion, one as a unique occurrence and one in the state the world is in. Fine composition for the occasion.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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This is a fine creation composed of five syllables in the first line; seven in the second; and five in the third line about a topic occurring on the eighth of April, the first complete eclipse for numerous years. Many traveled to one of the areas where they could view the "once in a lifetime for some" better. The world in shadows has at least two meanings, in my opinion, one as a unique occurrence and one in the state the world is in. Fine composition for the occasion.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments and kind review.
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Most welcome, writer.
Comment from lyenochka
We weren't anywhere near the path of totality and it was cloudy, too, so no fear for our eyes.
Your poem, especially the "thine" in your title, made me think of the Dark Ages when people really feared the eclipse, not understanding what was happening. But now that some have replaced faith in God for "science" and think everything just accidentally became created, it seems the "darkness" still exists.
The familiar form of "your" is "thine" so I'm guessing with the KJV style, the title is addressing God. Good use of every syllable including the title.
Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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We weren't anywhere near the path of totality and it was cloudy, too, so no fear for our eyes.
Your poem, especially the "thine" in your title, made me think of the Dark Ages when people really feared the eclipse, not understanding what was happening. But now that some have replaced faith in God for "science" and think everything just accidentally became created, it seems the "darkness" still exists.
The familiar form of "your" is "thine" so I'm guessing with the KJV style, the title is addressing God. Good use of every syllable including the title.
Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Thanks so much for your comments and kind review--greatly appreciated.
Comment from Sally Law
I just voted for this and come back to review you. A wonderful poem of this phenomenon and sign of the Lord's return.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes in the vote.
Sally Law :))
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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I just voted for this and come back to review you. A wonderful poem of this phenomenon and sign of the Lord's return.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes in the vote.
Sally Law :))
Comment Written 08-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Thanks so much for your kind review, endorsement and well wishes--much appreciated.
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My pleasure. Blessings,
Sal :))
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the Senryu You writing prompt. What a creative and powerful image to make...God blinking and the eclipse happens. The artwork resembles God's eye in the sky. Very nice.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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An excellent entry for the Senryu You writing prompt. What a creative and powerful image to make...God blinking and the eclipse happens. The artwork resembles God's eye in the sky. Very nice.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for your kind review and six stars/excellent rating--hugely appreciated!
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi
This is a nicely one senryu. It tells of what will happen today. I like the God winking metaphor. I also like the black and white color scheme to show what it will be like. It seems a lot of places won't me able to see it as well because of clouds.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Have a wonderful day.
Joan
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Hi
This is a nicely one senryu. It tells of what will happen today. I like the God winking metaphor. I also like the black and white color scheme to show what it will be like. It seems a lot of places won't me able to see it as well because of clouds.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Have a wonderful day.
Joan
Comment Written 08-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments and kind review--truly appreciated. Do have a lovely day, as well!
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You are most kindly welcome.
Joan
