Panpipes
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Panpipes - Chapter 23"A Novella
25 total reviews
Comment from Madeleine Mardis
Holy cats! What a great writer you are! I could see you becoming a famous author! Kiss of a landing, phrases like that, peppered throughout your writing! Maddy
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
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Holy cats! What a great writer you are! I could see you becoming a famous author! Kiss of a landing, phrases like that, peppered throughout your writing! Maddy
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
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Wow! What a fantastic review. I'm on Cloud 9, where I can get a better view of those six stars. You've made my weekend, Madeleine.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
I appear to have missed a chapter, but I'll go back and catch up.
This chapter is very well done with clear dialogue and interesting banter that also informs. Your descriptions are excellent, drawing a clear picture for the reader. I enjoyed the details of the flight, especially the beautiful landing.
I wonder what "Wotás Eeli à Siam" really means.
It's good to be back in Thailand and the hectic pace of life. I remember Fez talking about driving, taking one's life in their hands.
Ayesha is now wealth, so she may be able to pulls some strings herself.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Hello Tony,
I appear to have missed a chapter, but I'll go back and catch up.
This chapter is very well done with clear dialogue and interesting banter that also informs. Your descriptions are excellent, drawing a clear picture for the reader. I enjoyed the details of the flight, especially the beautiful landing.
I wonder what "Wotás Eeli à Siam" really means.
It's good to be back in Thailand and the hectic pace of life. I remember Fez talking about driving, taking one's life in their hands.
Ayesha is now wealth, so she may be able to pulls some strings herself.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 11-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Thanks for your review and star shower, Robert. If you try saying 'wat-as eeli a Siam' a few times quickly, you'll soon discover its meaning!
Comment from royowen
As always, incredibly readable Tony, you've got a real flair for writing, its as good as I've read, certainly in recent times, in fact right up there with anything, she's back in Thailand, I've been in Phuket with family some years ago. Beautifully written Tony, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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As always, incredibly readable Tony, you've got a real flair for writing, its as good as I've read, certainly in recent times, in fact right up there with anything, she's back in Thailand, I've been in Phuket with family some years ago. Beautifully written Tony, blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Very many thanks for these exceedingly generous remarks, Roy. You've made my day!
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Most welcome
Comment from Ulla
Yeah, I must say, snakes are not my cup of tea either, harmless or not. So now you have set us up for what is going to happen in Thailand.
Loved the scene with three people on the scooter. A common sight there, or at least it used to be. The soup sounded wonderful. It would have agreed very well with me. Poor Ayesha. Ulla:)))
Not a six left, sorry.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Yeah, I must say, snakes are not my cup of tea either, harmless or not. So now you have set us up for what is going to happen in Thailand.
Loved the scene with three people on the scooter. A common sight there, or at least it used to be. The soup sounded wonderful. It would have agreed very well with me. Poor Ayesha. Ulla:)))
Not a six left, sorry.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Ulla, for yet another supportive and encouraging response. Greatly appreciated.
Comment from Jacob1395
I really like how you manage to really set the scene well in your writing and make us feel as though we are there with Ayesha. I'm looking forward to the moment when she and Bapit are reuinted. Another excellent chapter Tony, I really enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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I really like how you manage to really set the scene well in your writing and make us feel as though we are there with Ayesha. I'm looking forward to the moment when she and Bapit are reuinted. Another excellent chapter Tony, I really enjoyed it.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Jacob. I appreciate your kind words. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Cindy Warren
Is she safer in Thailand? Perhaps not. Mobsters have a way of finding people. But I hope things will go well for her and she can help Bapit and the elephant.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Is she safer in Thailand? Perhaps not. Mobsters have a way of finding people. But I hope things will go well for her and she can help Bapit and the elephant.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Cindy, for your review and comments. All the best, Tony
Comment from Pam (respa)
An excellent chapter with vivid imagery created a smooth flow to the story. The addition section was helpful, and let us know what had been going on before this chapter. I don't think I would have wanted to be on that plane or in the vehicle with Somchai, especially when it was called "The Yellow Peril."
A good report about Bapit and Ayehsa was agreeable to having some of the soup that Somchai had mentioned. I imagine the garden was a nice place to enjoy that. But when it came to the python in the attic, I wouldn't want any part of that, safe or not. Ayesha was understandably influenced by it with bad dreams and nightmares about a lot of snakes.
You did a good job writing and describing all of this.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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An excellent chapter with vivid imagery created a smooth flow to the story. The addition section was helpful, and let us know what had been going on before this chapter. I don't think I would have wanted to be on that plane or in the vehicle with Somchai, especially when it was called "The Yellow Peril."
A good report about Bapit and Ayehsa was agreeable to having some of the soup that Somchai had mentioned. I imagine the garden was a nice place to enjoy that. But when it came to the python in the attic, I wouldn't want any part of that, safe or not. Ayesha was understandably influenced by it with bad dreams and nightmares about a lot of snakes.
You did a good job writing and describing all of this.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Pam for your review and comments, and the accolade of a sixth star. Greatly appreciated.
Anna and Dave have a resident python in their garden. It can quite often be seen snoozing on the rafters of their gazebo by the swimming pool. Teagan has christened it Lovely!
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Tony. Thanks for sharing about the python. Maybe Teagan is going to be a zoologist. I am not a fan of snakes or reptiles!
Comment from phill doran
Hello again Tony,
Very accomplished - error free and advancing the tale meaningfully and adroitly.
I am pleased this work was recognised as last month's "Of The Month". The system works.
I wish you well with this continuing tale.
cheers
phill
As your notes are getting to be as long as the instalments, is there any way you can reduce these further for the newcomer? Just a thought. I do not know how much new traffic you pick up but the notes may appear daunting to the uninitiated.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Hello again Tony,
Very accomplished - error free and advancing the tale meaningfully and adroitly.
I am pleased this work was recognised as last month's "Of The Month". The system works.
I wish you well with this continuing tale.
cheers
phill
As your notes are getting to be as long as the instalments, is there any way you can reduce these further for the newcomer? Just a thought. I do not know how much new traffic you pick up but the notes may appear daunting to the uninitiated.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2024
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Thanks very much for your review, stars, and suggestion, Phill. You're right about the summary. It needs cutting back My original intention was to keep it around 300 words. I don't often pick up new readers at this stage. In fact, reviews have dropped from 25-30 down to 20-25 over the last few chapters. Fortunately, the ones who have stuck with me include the few who sometimes provide useful comments and advice.
I have rewritten the summary, reducing it by 50% from 1200 to 600 words. I'll include the shorter version under Chapter 24. I believe that agents require between 500-800 words.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well written. Your descriptions of the city life are excellent.
...to help me get a possum out of the roof. - Curious phrasing. I would think 'out of the attic' or 'off the roof'.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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Well written. Your descriptions of the city life are excellent.
...to help me get a possum out of the roof. - Curious phrasing. I would think 'out of the attic' or 'off the roof'.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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Thanks for your review and suggestion, Wayne. I'll change it to 'roof space' to make it clearer that the possums and/or snakes inhabit the space between the roof and the ceiling.
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We call that the attic.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You just keep weaving the tale. We think we have it almost at the end, and you turn the corner to give us someone new. You bob and weave. Iam hooked. Good writing. Karen
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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You just keep weaving the tale. We think we have it almost at the end, and you turn the corner to give us someone new. You bob and weave. Iam hooked. Good writing. Karen
Comment Written 10-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Karen. Glad I'm keeping you entertained! All the best, Tony
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:-)
