The Family Garden: A Memoir
A father and daughter reminisce about the family gardens.3 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
AHH, I wish I had a six left for this contest entry. This past Christmas two of my four boys and their families came home. On evenings discussions centered around that my boys didn't really know me. I was shocked at that because I never hid anything from them. Ther just wasn't time to discuss. Good luck with this contest.
I pried the tote lid off carefully as my father sat down and dabbed his eyes dry with a well-used handkerchief (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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AHH, I wish I had a six left for this contest entry. This past Christmas two of my four boys and their families came home. On evenings discussions centered around that my boys didn't really know me. I was shocked at that because I never hid anything from them. Ther just wasn't time to discuss. Good luck with this contest.
I pried the tote lid off carefully as my father sat down and dabbed his eyes dry with a well-used handkerchief (you can omit 'down' it's understood)
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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Thank you for reviewing my story. Thank you for the writing tip.
Comment from zanya
What an engrossing, evocative family story of times past and now fondly remembered with love and indeed joy by father and daughter - the pace of the story is so well timed- at times moving slowly before picking up pace- a slice of real life.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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What an engrossing, evocative family story of times past and now fondly remembered with love and indeed joy by father and daughter - the pace of the story is so well timed- at times moving slowly before picking up pace- a slice of real life.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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Thank you for reveiwing my story. I appreciate your positive review.
Comment from Sallyo
This is a beautiful reflective piece and the structure of stories within stories, and memories encapsulated in a "now" framework is cleverly constructed. I enjoyed reading and found it well-proofed and persuasively written.
I don't know if paragraphing is different where you live, but here we're taught to keep dialogue and THAT person's actions in one paragraph and starting a new one for someone else's actions.
Thus "Here, let me take over, Dad," I quickly offered, pretending there were no tears. Reluctantly, he trailed slowly behind me using his cane to navigate the maze of packed and labeled boxes.
would be
"Here, let me take over, Dad," I quickly offered, pretending there were no tears.
Reluctantly, he trailed slowly behind me using his cane to navigate the maze of packed and labeled boxes.
Mind you, "labeled" would be "labelled" so I do understand different places have different literary rules.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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This is a beautiful reflective piece and the structure of stories within stories, and memories encapsulated in a "now" framework is cleverly constructed. I enjoyed reading and found it well-proofed and persuasively written.
I don't know if paragraphing is different where you live, but here we're taught to keep dialogue and THAT person's actions in one paragraph and starting a new one for someone else's actions.
Thus "Here, let me take over, Dad," I quickly offered, pretending there were no tears. Reluctantly, he trailed slowly behind me using his cane to navigate the maze of packed and labeled boxes.
would be
"Here, let me take over, Dad," I quickly offered, pretending there were no tears.
Reluctantly, he trailed slowly behind me using his cane to navigate the maze of packed and labeled boxes.
Mind you, "labeled" would be "labelled" so I do understand different places have different literary rules.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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Thank you for reviewing my story. I appreicate your positive review.
Thank you for the writing tip.
