A Teachable Moment
I came to appreciate the phrase, Physician, heal thy self.26 total reviews
Comment from hullabaloo22
Oh, wow! This was such an emotional read. I really felt for both you and Monica. How sad that everyone seemed to have deserted her when she needed support, and how lucky she was to have you. As you wrote the emotional toll it took on you became clear but you were still there.
A wonderful write from a wonderful person.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Oh, wow! This was such an emotional read. I really felt for both you and Monica. How sad that everyone seemed to have deserted her when she needed support, and how lucky she was to have you. As you wrote the emotional toll it took on you became clear but you were still there.
A wonderful write from a wonderful person.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Thank you for a wonderful review. Yes, it took a toll on me but Monica's death was a lesson learned: Take care of your own grief. Find a healthy way to process it. I did and I was able to provide counsel to the dying and to their families for decades. BTW, I have a new book on Amazon with the same title. -Bill Stephenson
Comment from phill doran
Hello William,
This is a well written piece. Well done.
There is an underlying sense of inevitability, but the reader is drawn along to the unavoidable conclusion by your very strong writing.
It isn't an easy read but then it isn't meant to be, I am sure, and a reader might well turn away had your writing been weaker.
You have two very different styles at play. Your opening three or four paragraphs comprise of many short sentences; they are not as fluid as the balance of the work. Perhaps you might consider this, and maybe even repunctuate some of the text to lessen the effect ("...I would come to her bedside, and we would talk, well, she did the talking. She talked incessantly, almost fearfully; she talked about her childhood and adolescence; she talked about both of her marriages, she talked about her two miscarriages and one abortion. She owned a lot of unresolved grief and a load of guilt that clashed with her beliefs..." Just a suggestion, I mean no offence to your work or words).
There's one small typo in your final words "....a hope that wil never..." (should be "will").
I wish you well with this piece and your continued writing.
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Hello William,
This is a well written piece. Well done.
There is an underlying sense of inevitability, but the reader is drawn along to the unavoidable conclusion by your very strong writing.
It isn't an easy read but then it isn't meant to be, I am sure, and a reader might well turn away had your writing been weaker.
You have two very different styles at play. Your opening three or four paragraphs comprise of many short sentences; they are not as fluid as the balance of the work. Perhaps you might consider this, and maybe even repunctuate some of the text to lessen the effect ("...I would come to her bedside, and we would talk, well, she did the talking. She talked incessantly, almost fearfully; she talked about her childhood and adolescence; she talked about both of her marriages, she talked about her two miscarriages and one abortion. She owned a lot of unresolved grief and a load of guilt that clashed with her beliefs..." Just a suggestion, I mean no offence to your work or words).
There's one small typo in your final words "....a hope that wil never..." (should be "will").
I wish you well with this piece and your continued writing.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 07-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Phil, this is the best review of the 26 I have received. I am so very fortunate that you decided to put some time into this story. Much of what I record comes from my progress notes and I can see how I sometimes write in the same manner. I need to work on that and I will start with this piece. BTW, I just published a new book that is just now on Amazon with the same title as this story. -Bill Stephenson
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
How very sad for this poor girl so young and who had suffered so much in her life. Your story is humbling and very sad indeed. It is no wonder this death had a profound effect on you and I hope you are okay now. Thank you for sharing this very brave post, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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How very sad for this poor girl so young and who had suffered so much in her life. Your story is humbling and very sad indeed. It is no wonder this death had a profound effect on you and I hope you are okay now. Thank you for sharing this very brave post, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Dolly, to clarify, this happened when I was new to this game. But this event taught me how to take care of myself. Thank you for your review. I value them when you read my writes. BTW, I have a new book out called, yes, Teachable Moments. It's on Amazon. - Bill Stephenson
Comment from Julie Helms
What an incredibly difficult experience. You know, Monica was so determined that God had a final mission for her. Maybe she did and it was her impact on you and how you grew from it.
Thanks for sharing such a heart wrenching experience.
I have some suggestions for your consideration:
She talked about her childhod
(childhood)
Monica used that time to talk to the staff about her faith and how she ws ready
(was ready)
She was put into her bed and the hospice team
(...her bed, and the...)
expel blood from every oriface
(orifice)
They say I was unable to speak
(They said...)
Julie
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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What an incredibly difficult experience. You know, Monica was so determined that God had a final mission for her. Maybe she did and it was her impact on you and how you grew from it.
Thanks for sharing such a heart wrenching experience.
I have some suggestions for your consideration:
She talked about her childhod
(childhood)
Monica used that time to talk to the staff about her faith and how she ws ready
(was ready)
She was put into her bed and the hospice team
(...her bed, and the...)
expel blood from every oriface
(orifice)
They say I was unable to speak
(They said...)
Julie
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Julie, these are diamonds to me. Thank you.
BTW, I have a new book out with the same title. It's on Amazon. -Bill Stephenson
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You have chosen one of the most difficult professions, at least in terms of grief. This is a sadly terrible end for this young woman who had believed there was life after death, but in the end her courage failed her. Why does your story seem undone? Is it because you don't feel you have yet fully accepted something?
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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You have chosen one of the most difficult professions, at least in terms of grief. This is a sadly terrible end for this young woman who had believed there was life after death, but in the end her courage failed her. Why does your story seem undone? Is it because you don't feel you have yet fully accepted something?
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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I have a reputation of writing stories that have a second chapter hidden in the story is usually another and this one is no exception. -Bill
Comment from Douglas Goff
Oh my goodness, William, this is tragic. I do believe in a creator but I don't think He makes deals or needs us for any reason.
I think poor Monica was hanging onto anything she could grasp. I also believe this was a lesson for you. That is between you and your beliefs.
Thank you for sharing this difficult memory with us.
D
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Oh my goodness, William, this is tragic. I do believe in a creator but I don't think He makes deals or needs us for any reason.
I think poor Monica was hanging onto anything she could grasp. I also believe this was a lesson for you. That is between you and your beliefs.
Thank you for sharing this difficult memory with us.
D
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Thank you Doug for your review. -Bill
Comment from mermaids
As a nurse I have worked with hospice over the years. Your story shows what the patient and caregivers go through. This young lady was fortunate to have you there for her. I have seen patients who do not have anyone visit them but the hospice staff. Excellent writing here and your experience is valuable and has meaning.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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As a nurse I have worked with hospice over the years. Your story shows what the patient and caregivers go through. This young lady was fortunate to have you there for her. I have seen patients who do not have anyone visit them but the hospice staff. Excellent writing here and your experience is valuable and has meaning.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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I could not begin to compare the years of work, counseling the dying, and the service you nurses provide. Theproblem with all the hospice staff is the staying power. The turnover is huge.
Thanks for your review. BTW I have a new book out with the same name. It's on Amazon. Bill Stephenson
Comment from Jim Wile
This was very moving, William. I could really feel your pain and anguish about this poor woman who you ultimately couldn't help. This is a difficult role that doctors have--tending to the terminally ill and trying your best to help those who have no hope of surviving. I imagine it takes some experience (and therapy) to accept the fact that you can only do so much for people and their survival is often out of your hands.
We don't often think about the toll it takes on the doctors when their patients die. Thank you for sharing this with us.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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This was very moving, William. I could really feel your pain and anguish about this poor woman who you ultimately couldn't help. This is a difficult role that doctors have--tending to the terminally ill and trying your best to help those who have no hope of surviving. I imagine it takes some experience (and therapy) to accept the fact that you can only do so much for people and their survival is often out of your hands.
We don't often think about the toll it takes on the doctors when their patients die. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Jim for your wonderful review. Just to clarify, my doctorate is in counseling psychology and I was the counselor for this hospice and I also had a private practice. This event took place over 20 years ago, but I can think back to it as if it was yesterday. -Bill
Comment from GWHARGIS
I remember one day my neighbor who was stage four lung cancer, was drunk and crying. I had three small children and I left them to play in the house and I went over to talk to him. He said "they can tell you you're going to die, but they don't tell you how to do it." It's probably the most alone anybody ever feels. Life is special. You really meant a lot to her. Beautiful story. Gretchen
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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I remember one day my neighbor who was stage four lung cancer, was drunk and crying. I had three small children and I left them to play in the house and I went over to talk to him. He said "they can tell you you're going to die, but they don't tell you how to do it." It's probably the most alone anybody ever feels. Life is special. You really meant a lot to her. Beautiful story. Gretchen
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Her major struggle was that she was all alone. Dying alone is one of
the most painful episode in anyone's life. Thanks for the review. BTW, my new book is now on Amazon. -Bill
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
What an incredible story! I was completely immersed in this sad, sad story that, ultimately, evolved to help you find resolution. You absolutely lived through Monica's demise and saved nothing back for yourself. When she died in such a dramatically visual way, a part of you died too. You were broken. I'm so relieved for you that you found your salvation and thank you for sharing this stunning and heart-breaking write. It's a very powerful entry and I wish you luck, Bill! Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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What an incredible story! I was completely immersed in this sad, sad story that, ultimately, evolved to help you find resolution. You absolutely lived through Monica's demise and saved nothing back for yourself. When she died in such a dramatically visual way, a part of you died too. You were broken. I'm so relieved for you that you found your salvation and thank you for sharing this stunning and heart-breaking write. It's a very powerful entry and I wish you luck, Bill! Take care Debbie
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Debbie, to have premier writers such as you stop by and review is an encouragement for some of us that take the time to be on FanStory. Thank you. -Bill
