Man Versus Fly
Men and our never quit attitude. No matter what.5 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
To answer the question in your notes...NO! That would have never been my husband. The fly could buzz all around the room and it would never annoy him. However, he would joke and say, "I know the bug chaser will get him," meaning me. He would be right. I would stand in the center of the room and watch the fly move where ever it wanted. As soon as it landed. BAM! Dead. Great story.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2024
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To answer the question in your notes...NO! That would have never been my husband. The fly could buzz all around the room and it would never annoy him. However, he would joke and say, "I know the bug chaser will get him," meaning me. He would be right. I would stand in the center of the room and watch the fly move where ever it wanted. As soon as it landed. BAM! Dead. Great story.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2024
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I appreciate your review. It has been a long time since I wrote something for FanStory. Plus, this was my first effort at a more unusual type of storytelling.
Comment from Ric Myworld
ROFL! Yes, this is one of those battles where there was no winner. Well, unless it was the fly who finally escaped the garbage can, leaving you to deal with the wife's scorn and disappointment. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2024
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ROFL! Yes, this is one of those battles where there was no winner. Well, unless it was the fly who finally escaped the garbage can, leaving you to deal with the wife's scorn and disappointment. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2024
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I appreciate your review. It has been a long time since I wrote something for FanStory. Plus, this was my first effort at a more unusual type of storytelling.
Comment from JanPerry
I like the bold print you use. Typo..."I got a few swings (as)at the little bugger". Leave out as.
..."which the kids found rather funny" should run on after the last sentence.
A few commas are missing. ("You're) the devil himself."
He buzzed (over) my head all the way."
"As I was adding coffee to the filter(,) still in coffee heaven(,) the devil himself returned." You need to run on the sentence here.
"Can't forget my (fury) kids."
There needs to be some run on sentences as in "As I swing with all my 285 pound body (,) he flew off the post and me!"
A lot of grammatical errors throughout the story. Howeverš?„°it's entertaining and very humorous throughout.
It's yay not yah! Apart from grammatical errors it's a hardy tale of man against fly. At my house I use a fly swat to kill spiders and there have been many of those.
I suggest using a fly swat not a fry pan to kill flies. A good story.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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I like the bold print you use. Typo..."I got a few swings (as)at the little bugger". Leave out as.
..."which the kids found rather funny" should run on after the last sentence.
A few commas are missing. ("You're) the devil himself."
He buzzed (over) my head all the way."
"As I was adding coffee to the filter(,) still in coffee heaven(,) the devil himself returned." You need to run on the sentence here.
"Can't forget my (fury) kids."
There needs to be some run on sentences as in "As I swing with all my 285 pound body (,) he flew off the post and me!"
A lot of grammatical errors throughout the story. Howeverš?„°it's entertaining and very humorous throughout.
It's yay not yah! Apart from grammatical errors it's a hardy tale of man against fly. At my house I use a fly swat to kill spiders and there have been many of those.
I suggest using a fly swat not a fry pan to kill flies. A good story.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much for a truly honest review. That means a lot to me. I should know by now haste in writing leads to errors. I shall make the corrections.
Comment from BethShelby
It was a while before I realized this was fiction. I think it was after you started destroy things of value. Flies are pesky critters and they have the ablility to make on swear but this one must have been Satan himself. I was a really funny story for those of us who dark humor.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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It was a while before I realized this was fiction. I think it was after you started destroy things of value. Flies are pesky critters and they have the ablility to make on swear but this one must have been Satan himself. I was a really funny story for those of us who dark humor.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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This is the first time I tried to write something funny. I must admit I was nervous waiting to see what others thought of it. Thank you for reading and reviewing this story.
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Thank you Beth. I appreciate your review. It has been a long time since I wrote something for FanStory. Plus, this was my first effort at a more unusual type of storytelling.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
What a fun story! I was really involved and could imagine my own husband in similar circumstances. Nicely written and humorous. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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What a fun story! I was really involved and could imagine my own husband in similar circumstances. Nicely written and humorous. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Thank you Marilyn for the kind words. This is the first time I tried to write something funny.
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Thank you Marilyn. I appreciate your review. It has been a long time since I wrote something for FanStory. Plus, this was my first effort at a more unusual type of storytelling.
