Comment from Mrs. KT

Excellent

Another well-crafted chapter, Tony, that held my attention throughout.
Ayesha is wound pretty tightly! Didn't expect her to have a panic attack, but she composed herself quickly. And I am hoping that Steve is a man of integrity.
End of chapter = just the way I like it!

On to the next installment!
Thank you for sharing!
diane

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024

Thanks, Diane. Such a positive and motivating review. I shall have to get started on the next chapter! All good wishes, Tony

Comment from Cindy Warren

Excellent

Ah, but she is heading for the police station, so I suppose he's going to try to stop her. Good thing she's not alone. I think Dave might be underestimating them. They both seem able to handle themselves.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024

Thanks for your review, Cindy. They certainly seem to be heading for trouble with a capital T. Let's hope that, like Crocodile Dundee, they have a bigger knife!

Comment from Jim Wile

Excellent

Out of 6s now, Tony, or this would surely be one. Great chapter with lots of suspense and raw emotion. As strong as Ayesha is, it's very understandable how the danger is getting to her. She's not used to a life like that, as few of us are.

Johnno is determined to get her money and will stoop at nothing to see that he does.

She sounds like she's a little unsure of the direction, but has some wonderful plans for the money. About how far are we into the story now, if you'd care to share that? - Jim

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024

Thanks, for the review, Jim, and the virtual six. Appreciated.
Johnno would like to get his hands on some of the money, but what he wants more at the moment is to prevent Ayesha from going to the police and identifying Bruno's wedding ring. That could potentially land him with a murder charge.
This was initially intended to be a novella but has grown. We're now 38,000 words into it. I'm not sure how much further I want to go, but probably not into the 60,000 to 80,000-word range. I suspect it'll end up around 50,000 words, neither one thing nor the other!

reply by Jim Wile on 18-Mar-2024

Thanks for sharing that, Tony. No matter what it ends up being, it's an enjoyable and well written story.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

I love the twists and turns. Can we trust Steve? He seems too good to be legitimate. Poor, Ayesha, I had anxiety attacks ... they are awful. I feel like I can't breathe.

The whole ordeal of saving Abhamaru is getting complicated but it will be worth it.

Well done, Tony.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 15-Mar-2024

Thanks, Gypsy. I always look forward to your reviews. Best wishes, Tony.

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

Hello tony,
Another excellent chapter adding details to the dilemma Ayesha faces--
tax problems, legal complications, Bruno's gang of crooks and murderers.
She clearly needs help, and Ken may be the answer, though he may also be naive in some areas.
Ayesha's mind seems to wander when she's around a male "hunk" like Mr Kraft. Many readers will like this aspect of her character.
Some marvelous ironic touches like "Gentleman Jim" and "eight inches of cold steel" keep the thriller theme alive.
I assume 'dialling' is UK spelling. (a waste of a perfectly good 'l'. :)
If she does go to the police station, she better use an armored car.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024

Thanks for another entertaining and star-studded review, Robert. As you so rightly assume, the double 'l' is another example of UK spelling being profligate with letters. Literal diarrhea or, as we would write, adding an onomatopoeic 'o', diarrhoea.

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi there,
I was so excited to see a message about this continuation of your story. I'm really enjoying this storyline.
The interactions within this chapter are described so well I could 'see' the characters as they interacted.
Well done - and I'm anxiously awaiting the next chapter,
~patty~

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2024

Thanks very much for your review, Patty. You are always so encouraging. I shall have to get off my butt and start writing the next chapter! All good wishes, Tony

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

Well, dang. I didn't expect that. The tail was one step ahead of her ... again. I like that I feel like I can trust Steve. So far, it seems like on every continent she's met more folks after money than those who are ethical. Great job on this. Gretchen

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024

Thanks for your review, Gretchen. Appreciated. All good wishes, Tony.

Comment from estory

Excellent

There really seems to be two sides to Ayesha, and she can play the tigress or the deflated doll begging for help with aplomb. You seem to have dropped Bapit from her sights altogether, except for her wanting to start the charity to save elephants. Why would she spend all that money and put it in the hands of a trust if she doesn't care about Bapit anymore and is practically tossing her cap for this lawyer? Some of this doesn't make sense anymore. But the writing is crisp, the dialogue is pretty sharp, and that last scene where Johnno's henchman is seen tailing her and the lawyer shakes things up a bit and throws some suspense back into the mix. estory

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024

Thanks for your feedback, estory. This part set in Sydney has grown beyond my original intent, and I may need to do some editing to bring the two parts closer together. I had in mind that anyone who allowed herself to become involved with Bruno would have to be a bit loose.

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

(This review includes a couple opinions.)

In the paragraph that begins "At that moment, Steve..." you use the word "his" 8 times, and the word "he" twice. This comes across as a mite repetitive. Perhaps substitute Steve's name for a couple/three of them to break that "his/he" block up a tad.

In "However, to be companionable..." the word "However" does not appear to add much to the sentence. Seems a stronger sentence to delete the word "However".

(End of opinions)

Is "dialling" a British spelling? If not, the word is misspelled and should be spelled dialing.

Nice illusion portrayed with "The warmth of his flesh left a delicious tingle." Conjures up quite an image.

Ending implies Steve and Ayesha could well be in harm's way with the threat of "eight inches of cold steel."

Plenty of action occurs to keep the storyline interesting.

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024

Thanks for your feedback, Brett. I'll have another look at the he/him issue. I tend not to repeat names unless it would otherwise be unclear who is speaking, but there may be a case for it here.
Yes, dialling is the British spelling. There are several words with the same doubling structure in contrast to the American spelling.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

Ayesha knows she is in danger but doesn't really know why. Steve has risen to her cause, but he doesn't really know what is happening either. It makes for a scary time, especially as the last thing the bad guys want is for her to go to the police, which is where she is going.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024

Thanks for your review, Carol. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony.