My Brother Fought Two Wars
A brother fighting two wars. Combat and the bottle.4 total reviews
Comment from CornishChick
This story is a great tribute to your brother. You pour love into it and are not afraid to explore emotion. A few suggestions to make the story sizzle:
1. Start with a strong hook
2. Write active over passive
3. Give one or two actual scenes to put the reader into the story. God bless and I'm glad you got your brother back. The most potent line was: It took my brother 46 years to come home.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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This story is a great tribute to your brother. You pour love into it and are not afraid to explore emotion. A few suggestions to make the story sizzle:
1. Start with a strong hook
2. Write active over passive
3. Give one or two actual scenes to put the reader into the story. God bless and I'm glad you got your brother back. The most potent line was: It took my brother 46 years to come home.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2024
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Thank you for the suggestions and the kind words.
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Keep writing!
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Thank you so much for the review and suggestions. All well taken.
Comment from cupa tea
That was very pleasing to read about a brother who served our country and I am glad he finally recovered. I have no idea what it must have been like to live like that.
God Bless all of those who served and who serve now.
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That was very pleasing to read about a brother who served our country and I am glad he finally recovered. I have no idea what it must have been like to live like that.
God Bless all of those who served and who serve now.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2024
Comment from Sally Law
I am so sick for a six, mystery writer. I, too, lost a stepbrother in Vietnam but not to the Vietcong, to Agent Orange exposure. He served three tours as a Green Beret Weapons Sergeant and was sent stateside to receive radiation treatment for his throat cancer. Steve enlisted, he was not drafted, and had always wanted to be a soldier.
I remember the same as you chronicled here: the nightly news, the newspaper articles, and it was too much. My parents were in a constant state of worry. Steve would come home and straighten us out because the news wasn't accurate. He especially hated Jane Fonda. He often said Miss Fonda should spend one day with him and his troops, and she'd be cured.
Please accept my condolences in your loss. I know exactly how you feel. Seeing Steve without a voice (he used a mechanical device to speak) and in a wheelchair, was heartbreaking. His spirit was good the last time I saw him. He wanted to know all about my new boyfriend. We laughed and smiled the entire time. Only afterwards, did I allow myself to cry.
Sending you my best today as always and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sally Law
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I am so sick for a six, mystery writer. I, too, lost a stepbrother in Vietnam but not to the Vietcong, to Agent Orange exposure. He served three tours as a Green Beret Weapons Sergeant and was sent stateside to receive radiation treatment for his throat cancer. Steve enlisted, he was not drafted, and had always wanted to be a soldier.
I remember the same as you chronicled here: the nightly news, the newspaper articles, and it was too much. My parents were in a constant state of worry. Steve would come home and straighten us out because the news wasn't accurate. He especially hated Jane Fonda. He often said Miss Fonda should spend one day with him and his troops, and she'd be cured.
Please accept my condolences in your loss. I know exactly how you feel. Seeing Steve without a voice (he used a mechanical device to speak) and in a wheelchair, was heartbreaking. His spirit was good the last time I saw him. He wanted to know all about my new boyfriend. We laughed and smiled the entire time. Only afterwards, did I allow myself to cry.
Sending you my best today as always and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sally Law
Comment Written 13-Mar-2024
Comment from bob cullen
Gary,
If the purpose of writing is to inform, you have done that superbly. You've also provided insight on the traumas experienced by those frontline fighters both in battle and emotionally. This truly is an exceptional write that highlights the other side of battle, the conflict within. Please thank your brother for me. We will always owe him and his fellow colleagues.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2024
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Gary,
If the purpose of writing is to inform, you have done that superbly. You've also provided insight on the traumas experienced by those frontline fighters both in battle and emotionally. This truly is an exceptional write that highlights the other side of battle, the conflict within. Please thank your brother for me. We will always owe him and his fellow colleagues.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2024
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Bob,
I will pass your thank you onto my brother. I know he will appreciate. Thank you for the kind words on my writing. This is one story that truly has a happy ending.
