Reviews from

Just Me at the KFC

A story about me traveling in New Zealand.

2 total reviews 
Comment from Baltimore Born
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a well-written story. You were pretty thirsty that day. Your story was captivating from beginning to end. I remember riding the Greyhound buses in Baltimore, sometimes not a pleasant experience. Very good details throughout. Glad the couple was at the KFC. Nice story and picture.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    Thank you for your kind words and 5 star review.
Comment from Sallyo
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is great--it really held my attention. Below are a few things you might want to consider. There are a couple of errors in this passage- correct is below.

And low and behold, like a beacon burning bright, is a Kentucky Fried Chicken in the distance with its candy stripes beckoning me.

And LO and behold, THERE like a beacon burning bright, is a Kentucky Fried Chicken in the distance with its candy stripes beckoning me.

was s trying
Extra letter S has sneaked in

shoe is untied
A Kiwi would probably say, "Your shoelace is untied." They speak much the same as Australians, give or take a few odd words and their "i" sound.

The dialogue below needs fixing. The fixes are below each line.

"Where you headed?" The man asks.
"Where you headed?" the man asks.

"The youth hostel on Cook Street." I reply.
"The youth hostel on Cook Street," I reply.

"We're headed that way if you want a lift." The woman volunteers.
"We're headed that way if you want a lift," the woman volunteers.

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2024
    Thanks for your feedback. The corrections have been made.