The Binding Spell/Pt. 7
Revised Sweet Chaos/A Novel of the Breedline series7 total reviews
Comment from Julie Helms
This chapter was a good calm in the action. It lets the reader regroup a bit after more intense scenes. Plus this was incredibly sweet and heartwarming!
"We'll give you some privacy." She motioned toward Cassie and the male nurse
(After the first time, I would not keep referring to him as a male nurse, just a nurse is fine)
Something to keep in mind for future books: Names like Casey and Cassie used together will slow the reader down. When we read, we really only read the first couple letters and move on, but similar names make us stop and figure out who the character is. I read a book with two characters, named Greg and Gary, and they were close enough that I was constantly stopping, rereading, and trying to figure out which one was talking. It didn't seem to me that they were that similar, but I realized my brain really just saw the G and the four letters, filled in the blanks, and moved on.
I am so enjoying your story! Julie
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
  |
This chapter was a good calm in the action. It lets the reader regroup a bit after more intense scenes. Plus this was incredibly sweet and heartwarming!
"We'll give you some privacy." She motioned toward Cassie and the male nurse
(After the first time, I would not keep referring to him as a male nurse, just a nurse is fine)
Something to keep in mind for future books: Names like Casey and Cassie used together will slow the reader down. When we read, we really only read the first couple letters and move on, but similar names make us stop and figure out who the character is. I read a book with two characters, named Greg and Gary, and they were close enough that I was constantly stopping, rereading, and trying to figure out which one was talking. It didn't seem to me that they were that similar, but I realized my brain really just saw the G and the four letters, filled in the blanks, and moved on.
I am so enjoying your story! Julie
Comment Written 11-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
-
Thank you, Julie :) I appreciate your generous review and helpful advice. I agree with you. I will have had issues with names sounding similar. I've actually had to go back and correct a mistake in one of my books. I had two names close and accidentally used the wrong name in a chapter. So, yes, you are so right. I'm always learning as I go along.
Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
If I had a six..... you are doing such a good job on the edit. What is the third book called? I will start reading it soon. I don't remember a backstory for Tim.
Here's one: As a proud father he hoped he would rise to the occasion. He had no personal background to draw on. Like a lot of Breedline wolves, he was a foundling. He was found in the forest, with little to no memory of how he got there. He was filthy and always hungry. A family of campers took him in.
The silversmiths. Yes, they did indeed make weapons, and always had. The father Josiah, made the lighest
swords you ever saw. Gorgeous in their detail, every scroll had power in it. He carved blessings and power into everything he made. His wife Cherry made bows and arrows. Light and fast, their was speed and fury built into each work of art. They never needed replacement. They obeyed only those of their coven who knew the secret word. If someone stole it, it would be useless. Her arrows only worked with her bows. Their weapons were expensive, but you only needed to buy one once. They judged Timothy to be about six years old. And, they could tell right off he was special.The fact that his teeth were growing was a tip off. He snarled at them. It was love at first sight.
Whadda think?
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
|
If I had a six..... you are doing such a good job on the edit. What is the third book called? I will start reading it soon. I don't remember a backstory for Tim.
Here's one: As a proud father he hoped he would rise to the occasion. He had no personal background to draw on. Like a lot of Breedline wolves, he was a foundling. He was found in the forest, with little to no memory of how he got there. He was filthy and always hungry. A family of campers took him in.
The silversmiths. Yes, they did indeed make weapons, and always had. The father Josiah, made the lighest
swords you ever saw. Gorgeous in their detail, every scroll had power in it. He carved blessings and power into everything he made. His wife Cherry made bows and arrows. Light and fast, their was speed and fury built into each work of art. They never needed replacement. They obeyed only those of their coven who knew the secret word. If someone stole it, it would be useless. Her arrows only worked with her bows. Their weapons were expensive, but you only needed to buy one once. They judged Timothy to be about six years old. And, they could tell right off he was special.The fact that his teeth were growing was a tip off. He snarled at them. It was love at first sight.
Whadda think?
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
-
Thanks! :) Tim's backstory is spread out throughout the book. He's the council head of all fifty Breedline Covenants. He is a dominant and Angel is his submissive. Now that they unexpectedly have a baby, their D&S relationship is going to change a bit.
Thanks for all your feedback and suggestions. Tim's story goes further into all the other books, too. The third book is called Unleashed Chaos.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
-
I will check it out, Karen
Comment from royowen
Of course, if I have the good fortune of reading about the birth of a child, there's something special about the first child, although I was a first born child, I cast my mind back to when my beautiful elder chil was born, I was speechless, she was perfect! I still remember, I fell in love with both my girls from the first, well done Shana, wonderful write my talented friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
 |
Of course, if I have the good fortune of reading about the birth of a child, there's something special about the first child, although I was a first born child, I cast my mind back to when my beautiful elder chil was born, I was speechless, she was perfect! I still remember, I fell in love with both my girls from the first, well done Shana, wonderful write my talented friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
-
Thank you, dear friend :) I'm like you. I'm a sucker for a birth story. It brings back my memories of my son. The birth of a child is something very special. I wanted to make Natalie's birth sweet and special.
Thanks again for all your support and generous stars!
Always your fan,
Shana :)
-
It is indeed Shana
Comment from fm wright
You always manage to mingle romance, the supernatural and even a little bit of humor into your stories. I did notice, it must be an automatic correction but I think it is supposed to be spelled poopy, not poppy in reference to the changing of Natalie Rose's diaper. Great photo by the way.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
|
You always manage to mingle romance, the supernatural and even a little bit of humor into your stories. I did notice, it must be an automatic correction but I think it is supposed to be spelled poopy, not poppy in reference to the changing of Natalie Rose's diaper. Great photo by the way.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
-
Thank you! :)
I am so grateful for the awesome feedback and generous stars! And also for catching my typo. LOL!
I appreciate you!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
-
I was sure it was an auto correct as I have had errors due to mine. I love your Breedline series. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
The scene you've crafted is incredibly heartwarming and emotionally rich. Tim's relief and joy at the birth of his daughter is written so well. and you've captured the atmosphere of a hospital room perfectly. The dialogue flows naturally. You could see each character's personality and emotions. I loved Tim's nervousness - that came across so well. Great job - this was such an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
|
The scene you've crafted is incredibly heartwarming and emotionally rich. Tim's relief and joy at the birth of his daughter is written so well. and you've captured the atmosphere of a hospital room perfectly. The dialogue flows naturally. You could see each character's personality and emotions. I loved Tim's nervousness - that came across so well. Great job - this was such an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2024
-
Thank you, Michael :) I'm so grateful for your kind words and generous stars! You made my day. This was stressful to write but also very rewarding. Hope to hear from you again.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from JP_Ryan
I have only been on fan story for a month, and this is my first time to encounter this series, I must say I really enjoyed it and I am looking forward to reading more, thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
|
I have only been on fan story for a month, and this is my first time to encounter this series, I must say I really enjoyed it and I am looking forward to reading more, thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
-
Thank you, JP :) I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. It's nice to hear positive feedback. I hope to hear from you again.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
You brought me to tears, Shana! The whole thing was so sweet, and I loved how everyone just barged into the room, lol, but what caused the tears was when they were naming the baby. It was just so darn sweet!!
As always, great story,
Hugs,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
|
You brought me to tears, Shana! The whole thing was so sweet, and I loved how everyone just barged into the room, lol, but what caused the tears was when they were naming the baby. It was just so darn sweet!!
As always, great story,
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment Written 08-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2024
-
Aww... thank you so much, Rhonda. I'm glad you approved of the chapter. I wanted to make this scene sound touching. My characters mean a great deal to me, and writing them with love is important.
Thanks again for your support and awesome feedback. I appreciate you!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
-
I can tell you put heart and soul into your characters!
