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Panpipes

Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Panpipes - Chapter 18"
A Novella

24 total reviews 
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi Tony, I realise that I haven't read this chapter so I thought I would do that enabling me to follow the story. I can certainly understand why she wants to sell everything, although it will cost a lot. Now onto the next chapter. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
    Thanks for going back to review this chapter, Ulla. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from kiwisteveh
Excellent
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Hi, Tony, I wonder, when you pen your stories, whether you ever consider what they might look like on the TV or cinema screen. Based on what I've read so far I could see this one as a dramatic TV series. Got any scriptwriter friends - or any contacts in the ABC? The Australian setting here combined with the exotic scenes in Thailand might be right up their alley.

Good mix of climactic action and more sedate stuff that still moves the plot forward. I did wonder whether the stockbroker accepted Ayesha's identity a little too easily. maybe that just slipped past, especially since she will obviously have more paperwork to complete before she lays her hands on the fortune she has inherited.

Steve

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2024
    Thanks very much for this review, Steve, and for the suggestion. When I've completed the story, which should be fairly soon now, I'll make a few enquiries at Writers' SA, and see if there's anyone there who could advise me on where to go next with this.
    I shall probably write the ending so that Steve, Ayesha, Bapit, Johnno and Somchai could all be rolled over into a follow-up story if it came to it.
    I'll be amalgamating Ch 18 with Ch 19, where there's more on identification. Maybe, I should also slip in a sentence suggesting that he already knows Ayesha by sight because of his association with Bruno.
    All the best, and thanks again
    Tony
Comment from Barry Penfold
Excellent
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Wow, always plenty happening in this exciting story. Looks as though Ayesha has plenty of cocktail money now and no doubt there are others who would be more than happy to relieve her of her not too small fortune.
Next instalment please.
Regards
Barry Penfold.

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Thanks, Barry. I appreciate your reading and comments. Ayesha appears to be a chicken ready for plucking. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Tony,
Another excellent chapter in the Panpipes book. Going to a bar and getting drunk doesn't seem like the smartest thing to do, considering the circumstances. But at least they got away unharmed.
I know nothing of Australian law, but in the US, a large percent of the transactions would exceed $10,000. The whole system would crash if a report had to be filed.
Ayesha could probably transfer the stocks into an account with only her name on it. It might also be prudent to use a different broker. There appears to be a crook around every corner.
She might even need a bodyguard.
Interesting developments and that ring might cause some future problems too.
Best wishes.
Robert




 Comment Written 28-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
    I might have to get someone to convince her to transfer the shares to her own name and cancel her sell order. It only takes a transfer request, and there's no capital gains tax involved. The broker should have told her that...
    She's not doing herself any favours at the moment!
    Thanks for another six stars. I shall put the in my pocket and save them for a rainy day. It looks as if the poor girl may need them.
reply by rspoet on 29-Feb-2024
    Unless you have other plans for him, Steve Kraft might be helpful.
Comment from Jacob1395
Excellent
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Another excellent chapter Tony, I could feel the tension increasing in this scene, and I could sense that Ayesha is starting to get suspicious, particularly with her lawyers, but I am glad she is sticking to her guns. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Thanks, Jacob, I appreciate your comments. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is an excellent chapter, Tony. I decided to see what has been going on, and it was easy to follow. You have a very good character with Ayesha. She has a good head on her shoulder and seems to be able to handle various situations, whether troublesome or business related. I like how she and Tammy dealt with the men who were disrupting the meal.

The scene with the maid is also done well with Ayesha being cautious, as she should be. I didn't know who was behind the door, but I'm glad it was the maid. It seems that Bruno had amassed quite a fortune when Ayesha decided to go to the bank and look into his financial status. You also do a good job with this discussion about selling everything in the account. I don't know if that was a smart move since it could create more interest in her and the money, but the broker was happy about it.

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Thanks, Pam, I appreciate your encouraging comments and the sixth star.
    Ayesha is being a bit naive at the moment with regard to the handling of money. Let's hope she sharpens up!
reply by Pam (respa) on 29-Feb-2024
    You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Tony. It would be good for her if she did "sharpen up" or find someone to trust that helps her.

    I like your profile pic, too. Rufus is too cute.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

An unsettling night out for the girls after Johnno's thugs threatened Ayesha.
I like the way Ayesha strength is coming through and the fact she shows the financial guys she will do what she wants. Another good read Tony.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    It doesn't look as though Ayesha is thinking too clearly at the moment. However, she's certainly learning how to assert herself.
    Thanks very much for the review and the six stars. Much appreciated!
    Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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This is a well written chapter. Yes, those Capital Gains taxes will get you in many countries, and most governments would be watchful of that kind of financial transaction. I am surprised those guys did not give chase. They should have been able to catch them.


 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Thanks, Lance. All I can think is that the bar management were able to delay them long enough for the girls to get away. All the best, Tony
Comment from Gunner Lil
Excellent
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A very good chapter. This reader enjoyed the fast pace excitement of this story.
This chapter has good dialogue to move the story along.
Very good sensory details.

Thank you!

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Thanks, Gunner Lil. I appreciate your kind words. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Jim Wile
Excellent
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Exciting chapter. Now that Ayesha sees what Johnno is capable of, she has to get that money out of his reach, even if it means losing a little in the process. She's smart, and she's not greedy.

This chapter served as a great warning to her that she'll need to keep her wits about her. Maybe she'd better not go drinking with her friends anymore.

Your knowledge about the financial markets made for a very realistic chapter, Tony.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2024
    Thanks, Jim. Unfortunately, my knowledge of financial markets hasn't netted me millions yet - not even thousands!
reply by Jim Wile on 29-Feb-2024
    Well, I'm not so sure I could fix a toaster or a dehumidifier either for that matter.