The Fix
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Fix - Chapter Four"A mother fights to prove her son's innocence
13 total reviews
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Lucie/Georgia seems way too nice, and did she really believe in Joshua's innocence? Not quite so sure about that either; why would she vote guilty because everyone else does?
I think there's more here than what we see on the surface. Looking forward to the next chapter.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
  |
Lucie/Georgia seems way too nice, and did she really believe in Joshua's innocence? Not quite so sure about that either; why would she vote guilty because everyone else does?
I think there's more here than what we see on the surface. Looking forward to the next chapter.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 24-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
-
Thank you Pam, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Begin Again
Another intriguing chapter, Jacob. At least she's found someone else who believes her son is innocent. Maybe she can help her discover the truth.
Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
|
Another intriguing chapter, Jacob. At least she's found someone else who believes her son is innocent. Maybe she can help her discover the truth.
Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 24-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
-
Thank you Carol, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
It is good to know someone on the jury, didn't believe her son was guilty. I've been on a jury where I wasn't convinced but the other eleven and the judge makes it almost impossible for one to buck the others. I will be anxious to follow where this leads.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
|
It is good to know someone on the jury, didn't believe her son was guilty. I've been on a jury where I wasn't convinced but the other eleven and the judge makes it almost impossible for one to buck the others. I will be anxious to follow where this leads.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
-
Thank you Beth, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is another good chapter, Jacob. I like how you averted Stacey's question to Lucie with the arrival of the ambulance. It turned out to be a very subtle hanger for the next chapter.
Forgive me if I'm wrong about this, as we use phrases differently here in the US; the last sentence seemed a bit off. It could be me. I haven't had my coffee yet. Lol.
Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
|
This is another good chapter, Jacob. I like how you averted Stacey's question to Lucie with the arrival of the ambulance. It turned out to be a very subtle hanger for the next chapter.
Forgive me if I'm wrong about this, as we use phrases differently here in the US; the last sentence seemed a bit off. It could be me. I haven't had my coffee yet. Lol.
Best, JohnC
Comment Written 24-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
-
Thank you John, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
She believes he is innocent! Well that is a good start. Now let's hope she helps Stacey try to find the proof she needs. Well, I'm all caught up and looking forward to the next chapter. This is a really good story, Jacob, and so well edited, no spags at all. Well done!! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
|
She believes he is innocent! Well that is a good start. Now let's hope she helps Stacey try to find the proof she needs. Well, I'm all caught up and looking forward to the next chapter. This is a really good story, Jacob, and so well edited, no spags at all. Well done!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 24-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
-
Thank you Sandra, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Another excellent chapter moving the story on at good pace, keeping the reader focused and intrigued, albeit a little concerned (in my case) by this inadvisable contact she's having with the foreman. I'm a little confused about the name change (did she adopt a pseudonym in the courtroom?). But an enjoyable read and perfect length. Thanks for sharing, Jacob. Debbie
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
|
Another excellent chapter moving the story on at good pace, keeping the reader focused and intrigued, albeit a little concerned (in my case) by this inadvisable contact she's having with the foreman. I'm a little confused about the name change (did she adopt a pseudonym in the courtroom?). But an enjoyable read and perfect length. Thanks for sharing, Jacob. Debbie
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2024
-
Hi Debbie, yes she named her Georgia in her head while she was watching her in court. Thank you.
Comment from tfawcus
Great continuation of the story, Jacob. Stacey's confusion on coming round is very believable. The scene makes a really good way of connecting her with Lucie. I'm intrigued to find out how this will continue. Can't wait for the next chapter.
A few things you might want to look at...
Lucie. Okay, yes, that name(')s better than Georgia.
'They'll need to check you other (over?),' Lucie says
'No please, I shouldn't have bothered you and now.' [Should this end with an elipsis (...), as an unfinished sentence?]
Stacey inputs it into her phone [maybe inputs it to her phone]
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
|
Great continuation of the story, Jacob. Stacey's confusion on coming round is very believable. The scene makes a really good way of connecting her with Lucie. I'm intrigued to find out how this will continue. Can't wait for the next chapter.
A few things you might want to look at...
Lucie. Okay, yes, that name(')s better than Georgia.
'They'll need to check you other (over?),' Lucie says
'No please, I shouldn't have bothered you and now.' [Should this end with an elipsis (...), as an unfinished sentence?]
Stacey inputs it into her phone [maybe inputs it to her phone]
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
-
Thank you Tony, and for spotting those errors, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jacob, this is a devastating outcome and.no wonder Stacey is feeling sick from the stress of it all. It's a perfectly natural reaction when disaster hits. Very well written. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
|
Hi Jacob, this is a devastating outcome and.no wonder Stacey is feeling sick from the stress of it all. It's a perfectly natural reaction when disaster hits. Very well written. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
-
Thank you Ulla, I?m really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I've only just discovered this novel so I can't judge the subject, but it is well written with good pacing. I will definately be adding it to my 'to read' list. kay
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
|
I've only just discovered this novel so I can't judge the subject, but it is well written with good pacing. I will definately be adding it to my 'to read' list. kay
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
-
Thank you, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Often stressful situations cause people to pass out and this is no doubt what has happened here. I suppose Stacey is trying to understand how the jury reached their decision, although this is not something that is revealed by juries, and she is not entitled to know. Another fine chapter in your story Jacob, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
|
Often stressful situations cause people to pass out and this is no doubt what has happened here. I suppose Stacey is trying to understand how the jury reached their decision, although this is not something that is revealed by juries, and she is not entitled to know. Another fine chapter in your story Jacob, love Dolly x
Comment Written 23-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
-
Thank you Dolly, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
