Domestic Pig
An encounter with a pig talking on his phone!2 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a funny nonet with a mono-rhyme going on (phone/scone, etc.). I think another reviewer pointed out that you have 8 syllables on the second and third line.
You can fix the one this way, maybe:
I said I liked his musk cologne.
I said, "Like your musk cologne!"
Also, you don't need quotation marks after Joan! nor before Bring. That is because the quote is continuing.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2024
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This is a funny nonet with a mono-rhyme going on (phone/scone, etc.). I think another reviewer pointed out that you have 8 syllables on the second and third line.
You can fix the one this way, maybe:
I said I liked his musk cologne.
I said, "Like your musk cologne!"
Also, you don't need quotation marks after Joan! nor before Bring. That is because the quote is continuing.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2024
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Thank you Crystie! I responded to this earlier but think I forgot to save the reply.
You are spot on with those bloopers I made. So glad you spotted them.
I've just started writing again after a break of a few years and am looking forward to more involvement with FanStory.
Comment from s.m.kirby
I like the rhyming of this, and i am not a pro. I think in line seven you are using eight syllables; I may be wrong. I still liked it. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2024
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I like the rhyming of this, and i am not a pro. I think in line seven you are using eight syllables; I may be wrong. I still liked it. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2024
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Thank you s.m.! You are absolutely right! I did make some mistakes...so glad you noticed them.
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you're welcome
