Lair Of The Seductress
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Oh Crap!"Book Four Wolf Bend Series
8 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Douglas, we certainly have a a lot going on here and some high action. It's well written and pares action with characterisation in a wonderful way. All best, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Hi Douglas, we certainly have a a lot going on here and some high action. It's well written and pares action with characterisation in a wonderful way. All best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 12-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Thank you, Ulla! Appreciate you!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a very interesting chapter, with both action and characterization working together well. Thank you for including what was going on with Lenny before.
Little fixes:
You had to go through steel double doors and pass through the office section in order to reach the courtyard that led to the housing units.
I would change "You" at the beginning of the sentence to "They" instead.
We put out a state-wide APB and a manhunt is being organized now.
I would suggest inserting a comma after APB, since you have two independent clauses there.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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This is a very interesting chapter, with both action and characterization working together well. Thank you for including what was going on with Lenny before.
Little fixes:
You had to go through steel double doors and pass through the office section in order to reach the courtyard that led to the housing units.
I would change "You" at the beginning of the sentence to "They" instead.
We put out a state-wide APB and a manhunt is being organized now.
I would suggest inserting a comma after APB, since you have two independent clauses there.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Thank you! I appreciate the catches!
D
Comment from Julie Helms
Lots of high action here! Thanks for including that previous chapter as it was before my time. Enjoyed your writing as usual, it is gripping, leaving me want anymore.
rabbeted out the doors (rabbited)
charger.' Jesse (stray quote mark)
Thanks for sharing! Julie
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Lots of high action here! Thanks for including that previous chapter as it was before my time. Enjoyed your writing as usual, it is gripping, leaving me want anymore.
rabbeted out the doors (rabbited)
charger.' Jesse (stray quote mark)
Thanks for sharing! Julie
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Thank you, Julie. You are awesome!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
You've built this chapter up nicely, Doug, and it certainly ends on a cliff-hanger as they charge off fearful of Jen's safety. Some great action with the escapee and I could feel that buttstroke across his face. Some edits: rabb(i)ted out the door?; must've had help (without 'ed'); sons of a bitches (sounds awkward) But an excellent read. Thanks, Doug. Debbie
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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You've built this chapter up nicely, Doug, and it certainly ends on a cliff-hanger as they charge off fearful of Jen's safety. Some great action with the escapee and I could feel that buttstroke across his face. Some edits: rabb(i)ted out the door?; must've had help (without 'ed'); sons of a bitches (sounds awkward) But an excellent read. Thanks, Doug. Debbie
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Thank you! This is a wonderful review and great help!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
That a boy
Keep churning those chapters out
How did the riot come to pass
I guess the bandit needed to escape to revenge his hate for his ex who is the Sheriff sweetheart, yea?
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024
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That a boy
Keep churning those chapters out
How did the riot come to pass
I guess the bandit needed to escape to revenge his hate for his ex who is the Sheriff sweetheart, yea?
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024
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Nailed it! Lenny?s a bad boy!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
This is great and keeps getting better. I don't know what is going on, so I keep reading. I think you will zig and you zag. You keep my interest up. Your writing keeps us in your thrall. :-) Karen
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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This is great and keeps getting better. I don't know what is going on, so I keep reading. I think you will zig and you zag. You keep my interest up. Your writing keeps us in your thrall. :-) Karen
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Thank you, my friend! You are precious.
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You are so "Lord of the Rings"!
You are a good writer. If you ever get stuck, I am here to help. My brain is packed full of stuff. Some I haven't even used! Honestly, it gets crowded. :-) Keep writing. Karen
Comment from Gunner Lil
Excellent. Fast moving, full of excitement. Good detail about police work.
Excellent dialogue that moved the story along. Also, very good sensory descriptions in the whole chapter.
Did find one or two type o's.
Great job. Thank you!
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024
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Excellent. Fast moving, full of excitement. Good detail about police work.
Excellent dialogue that moved the story along. Also, very good sensory descriptions in the whole chapter.
Did find one or two type o's.
Great job. Thank you!
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2024
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Thank you! I will look for those.
D
Comment from barbara.wilkey
When I saw your name in my PM box and I clicked on it, happily, by the way, I knew I couldn't read what mess Greg got himself into with more tea. I had to get some.
No way on God's green earth is this good. I sure hope Greg get to Jenny and the children in time. You'd better and hurry your next post.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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When I saw your name in my PM box and I clicked on it, happily, by the way, I knew I couldn't read what mess Greg got himself into with more tea. I had to get some.
No way on God's green earth is this good. I sure hope Greg get to Jenny and the children in time. You'd better and hurry your next post.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
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Ha! I am so happy that you are enjoying this addition to the series. I also appreciate your awesome review!
