Reviews from

Return To Concorde Valley

Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Bath of the gods"
Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.

18 total reviews 
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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This is such an interesting story. I'm assuming Echo will not go back the the world we know. I her grandparent have been told she is okay but I wonder if there is search for her sinse she is missing. You have a great imagination but yet you make the fantasy seem real.

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
    Hi Beth, thank you so much for reviewing! The grandmother knows she?s safer where she is. As it will turn out, she knows more than Echo knows.
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Rhonda,
Another marvelous chapter in the story of Echo and Theo.
We learn a great deal about this new (ancient) world through the conversation
of Diantha and Echo, which is much better and more engaging than the author telling us.
This is a nice lull from the confrontation with the Enemy which will reappear as has been alluded to: "there will be times when you'll wish you'd never heard of Concorde Valley." Of course, having (or being a member of) a family of gods descended from Poseidon is comforting.
I suspect of them will have their own interesting stories.
I don't know if the plunge into the bath of the gods, or being carried through the arch signifies any transformation, but I'm sure all will become clear in the next chapters.
Well done,
Best wishes.
Robert



 Comment Written 14-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
    Hi Robert, thank you for the six star rating. It is much appreciated, as are your thoughts and comments.
    Yes, the marriage carry through the arch, symbolizes a point of no return for Echo, and her joining their tribe. Not sure if I will refer back to it, or not, but probably will at some point.

    The enemy will, indeed, reappear very soon, or at least in the sequence of events, maybe not in real time, lol.

    Thank you for the comment on introducing facts through conversation rather than information dump. I used to do that a lot, and had people bring it up. You, probably, G-Man used to ding me on it, and I can't remember who else.

    Thanks again,
    Rhonda
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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I like the tender and understanding Earth woman to Earth woman talk that Diantha has with Echo. It seems they have a lot in common although I can't imagine God's or demigods needing cosmetics.
It finally occurred to me why their names are Echo and Anthos! From Narcissus (a flower = Anthos) and Echo, the nymph who loved him.

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
    Helen, you are so very smart!! You're the only one to make that connection, especially since I have him go by his nickname, Theo.
    Thank you for always sticking with my story and lending your thoughts.
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellent artwork and chapter to go with it, Rhonda. You let us see different sides of this world and this family each time. Excellent descriptive detail about the archway. I don't know how you came up with some of those fish species.

It is certainly a very different family, serious at one time, playful at another, and going back and forth during this particular day. The food fight had preceded it so some of that mood might have carried over. I think you included the detail about the god that was on this arch as a precursor to Theo, who took off his shirt, showing a muscular body. It had to have made an impact on Echo, especially when he embraces her and then she lands in a pool and he dives in after. This is quite a place you are making up.

Most of the remaining story is an in depth conversation between Diantha and Echo. They share a similar experience and it is helpful for Echo to hear, but she also lets her know that some things she will need to discover on her own. Diantha sounds like a very nice person, someone Echo could relate to, having lost her parents so early.

Now we have to wait to find out what Phoebus wants to talk to Echo and Theo about!
Very well done, my friend.

One small thing: down a aspiriling [spiraling] staircase



 Comment Written 13-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
    Hi, Pam, thank you for the brilliant six stars and for the brilliant review.
    You managed to hone in on my major points and to explain how they came across to the reader.
    The mood is going to carry across to the kids who are upstairs with the croquet game, but the older ones will now have to deal with a very situation. Thank you for pointing that out as I probably need to clarify that point.
    Thank you for finding the misspelled word. Most of the time when things are found, they are mistakes on my part, because I know the correct spelling and grammar. I'll be honest, I just plain misspelled it.
    Thanks again for your helpful and supportive review,
    Rhonda
reply by Pam (respa) on 14-Feb-2024
    You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. I appreciate your reply. You are doing a great job with the story. I know what you mean about spelling and grammar. It's the little things we see as correct, and then they're not.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
    So true!
Comment from w.j.debi
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Every time Echo turns around there is something new to learn about Concorde Valley and its inhabitants. It's as though the outside world has ceased to exist, at least for the moment. The description of the pool is fun. I wish I had one in my backyard.
Diantha is proving to be supportive as well as a good person to fall back on when everything seems overwhelming since she has gone through the same process herself.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    Hi Debi,
    Thank you for the dazzling 6 stars, my friend. I appreciate you following the story and keeping me up on what works for you on it. Diantha has gone through a lot of what Echo has, and is a mentor for the moment.
    hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
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Good plotting progress. Nice work explaining/not explaining details.
And nicely written.
Yeah, you can just forget about curling irons and blow dryers, Missy! (smiley face here)
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    Lol, thank you, Wayne. I always appreciate your perspective!! You're honest and I love it.

    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is such a clever story, Rhonda! The way you intertwine the mortal world (reinforced by Echo's loss of her parents and a normal childhood) with the legendary one is original and fascinating as you take the reader on this journey of escapism into a mythical world. Now we hear from Diantha the same mystifying sensation once that Echo experiences now as the two worlds unite and both women have to reconcile the immortality of their partners with their own mortality. For additional ambiance, you give us the wonderful, tactile nature of the architecture to enhance the beauty and eternity of the surroundings to which Echo is becoming increasingly accustomed. This is a lovely, inspired story, Rhonda. Thank you for sharing. Debbie

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    Debbie, thank you so very much for the six stars. I appreciate it and the very thorough review. I appreciate the details you put into it. I do try to weave the two worlds together to make it more relatable.

    Thanks and hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
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The descriptions make this such a marvelous and well-written story: that and the dialogue you handle excellently. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much for your review,
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Rhonda, I loved this chapter, but it also created some questions as a good story should do. Echo seems to adopt well, but she obviously still have a lot to look earn. I will be looking out for what's next. Hugs, Ulla xcx

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    Hi Ulla,
    Thank you so much for the six star review and comments. Echo has more to learn coming up, but some of it will be trial by fire, so to speak.
    Thanks again,
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Excellent
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This is lovely, and the picture of Posedion is very striking. Your story is very nicely fleshed out, and I appreciate that it remains PG. When are we going to hear more about Adam? I will keep reading. Karen

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2024
    Adam is about to have a very prominent role as will several of the other children. Minor characters now will stand out. Funny you should bring him up, lol.
    Yes, always PG, even for my Valentines chapter.

    Thanks for continuing the journey with me,
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 12-Feb-2024
    You couldn't beat me away with a stick. :-) I wrote " my secret love" I tried to write a straight romance but.......
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    Awww, so sweet!
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 13-Feb-2024
    I will keep reading. Your stuff is so good. Karen
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much!!