Tales of our Times
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Coins"Collection of short stories
7 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
I am totally with this grandma and I understand her tears.Sometimes I think real life is skipping the younger generation.. what with mobiles tablets AI etc etc Sigh!
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
  |
I am totally with this grandma and I understand her tears.Sometimes I think real life is skipping the younger generation.. what with mobiles tablets AI etc etc Sigh!
Comment Written 27-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
-
Great review - interesting comment 'real life is skipping the younger generation'- thanks for sharing zanya
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I like the story but was left confused if Gramps was really on the ISS or had gone on to heaven to await Grandma's arrival. If the well was that overgrown it would seem the proposal was more than a generation ago.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
|
I like the story but was left confused if Gramps was really on the ISS or had gone on to heaven to await Grandma's arrival. If the well was that overgrown it would seem the proposal was more than a generation ago.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
-
Thanks for reading zanya
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Usually wishing wells are sacred places. (Where you make a wish when you drop a penny to the bottom of the well. Wishing wells are also found in gardens where flowers and memory walks are created.) I'm glad that the character in the story made sure there was a proposal at a wishing well.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
|
Usually wishing wells are sacred places. (Where you make a wish when you drop a penny to the bottom of the well. Wishing wells are also found in gardens where flowers and memory walks are created.) I'm glad that the character in the story made sure there was a proposal at a wishing well.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
-
Thanks for reviewing zanya
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is an excellent story for the challenge, presented beautifully. It's very creative and you used good imagery and authentic dialog uses to bring your story and message to life. I could relate to Grandma.
Alex
I just noticed a word possibly missing. Grandma pulled hard (on)) the entangled greenery blocking the well.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
|
This is an excellent story for the challenge, presented beautifully. It's very creative and you used good imagery and authentic dialog uses to bring your story and message to life. I could relate to Grandma.
Alex
I just noticed a word possibly missing. Grandma pulled hard (on)) the entangled greenery blocking the well.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
-
Superb review zanya
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a very sweet tale vividly conveying the generational gap between the much more romantic and superstitious theme of the wishing well's message and the modern-day technological form of communication.It was an imaginative and enjoyable take on the contest brief and I thought the descriptive detail regarding the well and grandma's determined effort put into turning the wheel was excellent. Your story was a pleasing blend of poignancy and youthful enthusiasm. My only edit: (H)ave you been here before, Gran? Thanks for sharing and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
|
This is a very sweet tale vividly conveying the generational gap between the much more romantic and superstitious theme of the wishing well's message and the modern-day technological form of communication.It was an imaginative and enjoyable take on the contest brief and I thought the descriptive detail regarding the well and grandma's determined effort put into turning the wheel was excellent. Your story was a pleasing blend of poignancy and youthful enthusiasm. My only edit: (H)ave you been here before, Gran? Thanks for sharing and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 13-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
-
Superb review zanya
Comment from Navada
This is an interesting way to reflect on the differences between the generations and use the wishing well as a device for this reflection. Thanks for the share and good luck for the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
|
This is an interesting way to reflect on the differences between the generations and use the wishing well as a device for this reflection. Thanks for the share and good luck for the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
-
Great review zanya
Comment from lancellot
I think will appeal to the majority of senior FanStory members. They will love the characters and the fondness of love gone by and changing times. I would suggest more editing. But I doubt the knits would take away from the voting. Good luck.
notes:
'Careful, Tommie,' Grandma called after him, there's a lot
-'Careful, Tommie,' Grandma called after him, 'there's a lot
pointing to a fallen ivy- covered tree on the forest trail.'
- pointing to a fallen ivy-covered tree on the forest trail.
'I know that's a tree, grandma, but what's this?'
-'I know that's a tree, Grandma, but what's this?'
' A wishing well, grandma,' Tommy repeated, ' what's that?'
-'A wishing well, Grandma,' Tommy repeated. 'What's that?'
'Grandma regained her composure before replying,' a place where you make wishes.'
-Grandma regained her composure before replying, 'A place where you make wishes.'
'Grandma, careful, don't scrape your arms, grandma,' Tommy shouted.
-'Grandma, careful, don't scrape your arms,' Tommy shouted.
Grandma was torn from her reverie as Tommy enquired,' have you been here before, Gran?'
-Grandma was torn from her reverie as Tommy enquired, 'Have you been here before, Gran?'
Or maybe I can find a wishing well
-'Or maybe I can find a wishing well
How else could I talk with papa every day on the International Space Station if we didn't have screens.
-screens?
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
 |
I think will appeal to the majority of senior FanStory members. They will love the characters and the fondness of love gone by and changing times. I would suggest more editing. But I doubt the knits would take away from the voting. Good luck.
notes:
'Careful, Tommie,' Grandma called after him, there's a lot
-'Careful, Tommie,' Grandma called after him, 'there's a lot
pointing to a fallen ivy- covered tree on the forest trail.'
- pointing to a fallen ivy-covered tree on the forest trail.
'I know that's a tree, grandma, but what's this?'
-'I know that's a tree, Grandma, but what's this?'
' A wishing well, grandma,' Tommy repeated, ' what's that?'
-'A wishing well, Grandma,' Tommy repeated. 'What's that?'
'Grandma regained her composure before replying,' a place where you make wishes.'
-Grandma regained her composure before replying, 'A place where you make wishes.'
'Grandma, careful, don't scrape your arms, grandma,' Tommy shouted.
-'Grandma, careful, don't scrape your arms,' Tommy shouted.
Grandma was torn from her reverie as Tommy enquired,' have you been here before, Gran?'
-Grandma was torn from her reverie as Tommy enquired, 'Have you been here before, Gran?'
Or maybe I can find a wishing well
-'Or maybe I can find a wishing well
How else could I talk with papa every day on the International Space Station if we didn't have screens.
-screens?
Comment Written 13-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2024
-
Thanks for reviewing & spotting the spags!!zanya
