Panpipes
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Panpipes - Chapter 7"A Novella
27 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This has a very clear picture of the restaurant from the description. Pardon my biases against Abbots. I learned a lot in my research for my book 'Tor' when we were vortexed into a 16th century. The monks were in charge of the money for the whole Catholic Church. I suppose the money that was collected extra here went to the Catholic Church. The irony is the monks could not use any of the money because they had a of poverty. They were supposed to be poor but somehow through a double standard, the Catholic Church was not.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2024
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This has a very clear picture of the restaurant from the description. Pardon my biases against Abbots. I learned a lot in my research for my book 'Tor' when we were vortexed into a 16th century. The monks were in charge of the money for the whole Catholic Church. I suppose the money that was collected extra here went to the Catholic Church. The irony is the monks could not use any of the money because they had a of poverty. They were supposed to be poor but somehow through a double standard, the Catholic Church was not.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2024
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I tend to agree with you. Although there are some wonderful people in the Church, it is an organisation that has done as much if not more harm than good.
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Right... I immediately go in the favor of the Native Americans who were devastated and continue to be devastated. All in the name of Jesus. I've said this before I think ,I feel badly for Jesus. He's probably saying "leave me out of this."
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great chapter Tony full of drama, bad deeds and corruption and emotions too when Ayesha learns Bapit is in hospital. I smiled with her dreams of zombie grinning nuses walking the corridors. Enjoyed it,
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
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Great chapter Tony full of drama, bad deeds and corruption and emotions too when Ayesha learns Bapit is in hospital. I smiled with her dreams of zombie grinning nuses walking the corridors. Enjoyed it,
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 08-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
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Thanks for your comments, Valda. I'm glad you are continuing to enjoy it. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That poor make-up artist! He was so proud of his work too, perhaps that was one reason he had to disappear!
Major Suttiku has really thought this all through, leaving no chance to discovert by anyone. Unless, of course, one day Bruno comes 'back to life' and people wonder who was cremated.
I'm glad that Bapit is out of danger, and it's so good that Ayesha wants to go and see him. That little silly incidence will be forgotten or forgiven. Now I'm off to read the next chapter! :)) Sandra xx
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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
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That poor make-up artist! He was so proud of his work too, perhaps that was one reason he had to disappear!
Major Suttiku has really thought this all through, leaving no chance to discovert by anyone. Unless, of course, one day Bruno comes 'back to life' and people wonder who was cremated.
I'm glad that Bapit is out of danger, and it's so good that Ayesha wants to go and see him. That little silly incidence will be forgotten or forgiven. Now I'm off to read the next chapter! :)) Sandra xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2024
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Thanks for your review and comments, Sandra. Major Suttikul may not be as clever as he thinks he is!
Comment from Frank Malley
I think the dialogue could be more concentrated and the characters might have more varied diction and speaking styles. I've only read one chapter, but I think the author might do better with the focus of an I-narrator. This would create a stronger reader involvement, and would still permit as many sections of omniscient narrative including descriptions and character information.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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I think the dialogue could be more concentrated and the characters might have more varied diction and speaking styles. I've only read one chapter, but I think the author might do better with the focus of an I-narrator. This would create a stronger reader involvement, and would still permit as many sections of omniscient narrative including descriptions and character information.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Thanks very much for this forthright review, Frank. You have given me a number of things to reflect on, and I am most grateful. Thank you, too, for the sixth star. All good wishes, Tony.
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Be well, Tony. I don?t know where you live, but I?m hoping that here inthe US our discussions of the 2 preeminent wars become focused upon compromise. Be well. Frank
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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 A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review. |
Comment Written 05-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2024
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Thanks very much. Greatly appreciated.
Comment from Sanku
An innocent make up artist sacrificed ! Suttikul and Bruno are two wily creatures
Ayesha totally baffled by the lack of any serious inquest..it is heartening that she cares for Bapit..
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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An innocent make up artist sacrificed ! Suttikul and Bruno are two wily creatures
Ayesha totally baffled by the lack of any serious inquest..it is heartening that she cares for Bapit..
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Sanku, for your continued interest and review. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Ulla
Aw, so the deception is going on, and Ayesha is none the wiser. This story is so.full of plots and subplots. I love it you really write it so very well. I love where you've placed the story. It's very authentic. Now on to the next part. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Aw, so the deception is going on, and Ayesha is none the wiser. This story is so.full of plots and subplots. I love it you really write it so very well. I love where you've placed the story. It's very authentic. Now on to the next part. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Thanks, Ulla. Glad you're still enjoying it. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Is this back in colonial times? The attitude seems very old. I have never been to Thailand so a lot of this is very different. I hope you had a happy New Year. Karen :-)
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Is this back in colonial times? The attitude seems very old. I have never been to Thailand so a lot of this is very different. I hope you had a happy New Year. Karen :-)
Comment Written 01-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Thanks for the review, Karen. Set in an undefined period earlier this century, some time within the past twenty years or so. As you say, Thailand is a bit different.
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That clears that up. :-)
Comment from Jim Wile
This was an interesting chapter with some great examples of the characters' various traits. Suttikul proves time and time again what a soulless sociopath he is--willing to kill an innocent makeup artist merely to fill a coffin for cremation. He understands how to get things done in this corrupt world, being willing to grease whoever's palm to get do his bidding.
Ayesha also shows her concern for Bapit even though he attacked and insulted her gravely; however, she must have had a feeling it wasn't genuine because she's worried about his condition. Will she be duped by Suttikul concerning the death of her husband, or will she see through his subterfuge? This is getting quite interesting! - Jim
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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This was an interesting chapter with some great examples of the characters' various traits. Suttikul proves time and time again what a soulless sociopath he is--willing to kill an innocent makeup artist merely to fill a coffin for cremation. He understands how to get things done in this corrupt world, being willing to grease whoever's palm to get do his bidding.
Ayesha also shows her concern for Bapit even though he attacked and insulted her gravely; however, she must have had a feeling it wasn't genuine because she's worried about his condition. Will she be duped by Suttikul concerning the death of her husband, or will she see through his subterfuge? This is getting quite interesting! - Jim
Comment Written 31-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Thanks for your review and comments, Jim. Appreciated. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from lyenochka
Ayesha is a rather hysterical woman and completely driven by emotions. I'm surprised that she could get through to the hospital staff asking only with a first name. It seems Bapit and Ayesha are the minor characters/puppets under control by a more powerful and corrupt Chief of Police.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Ayesha is a rather hysterical woman and completely driven by emotions. I'm surprised that she could get through to the hospital staff asking only with a first name. It seems Bapit and Ayesha are the minor characters/puppets under control by a more powerful and corrupt Chief of Police.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2024
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Thanks for your review and comments, Helen. That's a good point about the hospital. I don't think Ayesha would have known Bapit's family name at this stage. Perhaps I need her to find that out from Somchai.
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I've rewritten that part now. We already know his family name, Saisaimar, from the police interview in Chapter Two, so I've got Lieutenant Kamul to call the parents as Mr and Mrs Saisaimar when he mentions that they and their son are at the hospital.
