Comment from Iza Deleanu

Exceptional

Love the stillness crated by your words... death it's a shadow that accompies our lives that have several "near miss" death encounters. For me your last stanza with the accent falling on the east, reminds me of rebirth and second chances that God gave us though his powerful prayers. The orthodox religion comes from the East a light that helped survived all those Eastern European countries.

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Dec-2023

Thanks again for the six star rating and all your words celebrating the poem and its theme. estory

Comment from Austin Yu

Excellent

The way you describe the world we live in today, as well as the way you characterize time, I don't think I've ever read something as close to perfect as yours. You didn't just blindly state famine, or destruction, but also used natural elements to create a metaphor for them. Way to go, and good luck!

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023

Thanks very much for the excellent review and your encouraging comments in support of my poem. I am glad the language seemed to convey the sentiments and mood I was trying to get across. I don't know about perfect...I think it can always be better. But getting reviews like this certainly give one hope and the strength to write on. estory

Comment from BenThrone

Exceptional

I know all too well the terrible emotional waste land described so vividly here. When my own father passed, quite suddenly and at a relatively young age, it left me utterly devastated and unsure of the world around me (and to some extent still does). That "in-between" time can seem interminable. The last stanza for me is extremely powerful and makes this worthy of a six, leaving the reader with a haunting image that provides no answers. I admire your experimentation with the lines.
Excellent writing. Thank you for sharing, and I am sorry for your loss.

 Comment Written 19-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2023

Thanks again for the wonderful sixer and all these encouraging comments. I appreciate all the support. estory

Comment from evesayshi

Exceptional

In my opinion, beginning with darkness, tinged in gray, it moves and the gray of thought rests in time, as hope touches, subtly, and with promise - an excellent read...

 Comment Written 18-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 19-Dec-2023

Once again I thank you so much for the six star review estory

reply by evesayshi on 19-Dec-2023

You are more than welcome - Thank you once more for the provocative and immersing read...Eve

Comment from Janis M.

Excellent

I think this is an excellent format that you worked with. The seriousness of it is preserved. I don't think rhyming would have done it any justice. Each word held meaning. The last quatrain reminds me a bit of Revelation as people watch to the East. However, I am not one of those the end times are happening right now people. It's not for me to know, so I don't pretend to...but I do recognize the turmoil.

 Comment Written 18-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the piece. I am glad all those references to the end times came over loud and clear. I wanted to also equate hope with love. estory

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

I really like your poem that depicts a surreal dystopian scene with all things cast as lifeless bronze in a world of ice and famine. The tone of depression is very much like getting trapped in a bad dream.

Thank you for sharing your poetic skill.

Gloria

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and I am encouraged by the imagery proved to be so evocative. The surreal style served it well, I guess. estory

Comment from Aussie

Exceptional

A brilliant look at the end of time. You have painted a depressed scene of death. Nothing is living, even the moon is etched with disappointment. We who have ears to hear and eyes to see know we are in the last days of life. The caretakers have defaced our beautiful planet. Well written, well said. K xx

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023

Thanks again for the amazing six star review; I appreciate it. estory

Comment from Ulla

Exceptional

Yes, you caught that sentiment of our world today so very well, estory. We live through some very dangerous times and who knows where it will take us..thanks a lot for sharing this poignant poem with us. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023

Thanks again for the six star review and all the continued support. estory

reply by Ulla on 18-Dec-2023

So well deserved. Ulla:)))

Comment from Wendyanne

Excellent

I must admit I had to read a couple of Seamus Heaney's poems to fully understand what you meant by " This chain link style of offset sentences". I see what you mean now. I found your poem very well written with some wonderful imagery.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and I have to say that Heaney was a big influence on me as a poet. I did my graduating thesis paper comparing Yeats and Heaney. I guess it shows. estory

Comment from JSD

Excellent

Some spectacular imagery and excellent choice of vocabulary. Very much worthy of Heaney! You really can write and I know now why I follow you. Good to see more stuff from you.

 Comment Written 17-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2023

Thanks for the excellent review and all the support. I appreciate the encouraging remarks. The next post will be a short story. estory