Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

Congratulations on winning the contest. You've presented a well written story that takes the reader to unfamiliar places and cultures. It was a pleasure to read. Have a great day!

Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024

Thanks so much, Carol, both for your congratulations and for going to the trouble to review this first chapter. We're up to Chapter 14 now. Little by little! All good wishes, Tony.

Comment from Contests

A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2024

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reply by the author on 10-Feb-2024

Many thanks to the committee. I'm honoured.

Comment from Navada

Excellent

Thank you so much for sharing this. I loved the story of the young piper and his connection with the elephant, and I will be interested to see where you take these characters in the future!

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 10-Dec-2023

Good to have you on board, Navada. I hope I can keep you entertained. All good wishes, Tony

Comment from Liz O'Neill

Excellent

You use strong sensory descriptive words. Also, this has touches (PUn intended) of sensual descriptive words. The alliterative w's become onomatopoetic, sounding like a pan flute, pretty. Great ending.

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023

Thanks for taking the time to go back and review this chapter, Liz. Appreciated, as are your kind comments. Best wishes, Tony.

reply by Liz O'Neill on 10-Dec-2023

I'm working on this

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Tony,

Good stuff here.

His was as black as his heart- this is a great line, delving much deeper into his inner self in a simple way, revealing character in a direct way.

this area needs editing as it's the only aspect in an otherwise good offering.

She gave him a teasing smile and, once again, beckoned. He handed her the pipes. She turned them between her fingers and blew into them, producing a harsh and strident note.- at this point she already has the pipes before they bargain on the price but then this follows a short while later - He stared at the gold cross chained around her neck but nodded reluctantly, saying a few words in Thai as he handed her the pipes. - there is no mention of her having handed them back in between.

happy notes drifting up from his wot like the bubbles children blow. - nice imagery here.

Backstory is well woven in and the transition to it is well-realised.

I quite like the diversion from the two scenes and their juxtaposition is well-worked.

Very nice start and an excellent drawing in at the end of the chapter.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023

Thanks again, Gareth. Just shows how important it is to have another pair of eyes looking. I must have read the paragraph more than a dozen times without noticing that.
I appreciate your kind comments.
All good wishes, Tony

Comment from Wy Jung

Excellent

Even though I read chapter 2 before chapter 1, I still enjoyed it and now find myself hooked.
Very good work Tony and your style is inspiring as well. I am giving this 5 stars because upon reading, I got completely wrapped up in the characters and forgot that I was reviewing. If there is anything that needs to be changed, I did not see it on my readthrough.

 Comment Written 08-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 08-Dec-2023

I appreciate your time in going back to read Chapter One. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thank you very much for the complimentary remarks.

Comment from Cindy Warren

Excellent

This promises to be good. I love the characters, especially Bapit and the elephant. Bruno will make a great villain, and I don't imagine the injured mahout will be to happy when he recovers. Lots of possibilities there!

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023

Thanks, Cindy. There's a good deal of villainy yet to come...

Comment from jmdg1954

Exceptional

Hi Tony. I do not believe I read you much in the past so I'm glad I stumbled on your novella.

Also, the locale, Thailand is an area I know little about which makes this more intriguing.

I'm going to fan you in order to receive these posts.

Thank you,
John

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023

Thanks for this most encouraging response to my first chapter, John. I'm delighted that you enjoyed it enough to award a sixth star. Most generous. All good wishes, Tony.

Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill

Exceptional

Helen is right. You write very well. I will enjoy getting your stories in my mailbox. I was quite prolific writing two a day or more. Now I am hibernating. But when my energy improves I will be writing like crazy again. Good writing. Karen

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023

Thanks for this lovely review, Karen, and for the sixth star. Greatly appreciated. All good wishes, Tony

reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 06-Dec-2023

Your welcome Karen

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

A very engaging story. My brother lives in Thailand six months there and six months in Spain. He loves Thailand.

I was very sad to read about the young elephant's abuse and separationfrom his mom. It reminded me of Dumbo, the Disney movie. Why didn't Abharamu set him free?

Well done, Tony. I'm looking forward to the next chapter, BTW, happy early birthday.

Gypsy

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2023

Thank you, Gypsy. I can scarcely believe I'm about to become an octogenarian!
Maybe Abharamu will eventually be saved by Bapit. We shall see. It may be too big a task for him alone.