Comment from Jumbo J

Exceptional

I searched MariVal, I knew I had read it on the fly before my early morning swim and have been on catch up ever since in a limited time bracket.

The haiku suit runs concurrently and smoothly whilst telling a somewhat haunting tale... and when I went into the thought of the theme, Jealousy... I felt as if I was suddenly transported to 'her' feelings I think mostly because... how did you know about the chest hair? It is rather uncommon on men these days, and the tickles and caresses... well you nailed it... okay, I was in my personification mode... settle down cowboy! ((lol))

Once again I am reading refrain in one of your poems. It adds to the punch needed to bring this suit altogether.
For me personally... I so impressed with this composition and construction. It's like joining with nature, the elements, whilst tying it in with the human connection... just a beautiful-beautiful presentation.

I truly appreciate the time and effort in this exceptional Haiku suite.
I also want to mention... the 'EVE' you placed strategically from top to bottom, I found intriguing. I'm not sure whether it was just dressing up the presentation or not, but I actually read eve as I went on the second and third go through. It added another element of a personal nature.

Stunning!

With our thoughts we create...
empathic connection.

Warm regards,
James.

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023

Hello, Cariño, I appreciate the exceptional six stars review!!

I am so happy to see you in the site more and see you write more poems, you are so good with imagery and metaphor. I love your reviews because you really 'get me', more than anyone else

I am not sure if I said this before because I had to start your reviews several times. My house is very noisy and we're all excited about the holidays. My daughter and her husband took a few days off for Thanksgiving. My daughter's father (my ex) came over and he's driving us crazy ... lol it's alright, she hasn't seen her father for a couple of years.

I love the way you understand what my poems are about... so deeply. I pour myself onto the page and it's wonderful when reviewers identify with that part of themselves. I think we all have passion in our hearts but some more than others. Maybe that is why they like my romantic and passionate poems ... the express what they don't.

I'm sorry about the 'eve', line. I didn't do it on purpose. I needed something to divide each haiku into the next. I don't know why but all the haiku were running together without an extra space in between each stanza. So it wasn't 'eve' it was symbols. I didn't even notice. Thank you for bringing it up, I know you didn't mean it as an edit but it was good to know. I found a better divider, I hope it looks better. Presentations are very important to me. I did a few edits that improved the flow and makes more sense, like for example: 'night' and 'sunrise' didn't make sense so I changed it to 'sunset'.

"settle down cowboy!" hahaha Thank you, darling,

Con Cariño

MariVal

reply by Jumbo J on 23-Nov-2023

Hey Gypsy Queen... I thought the 'EVE' was a great additive, it may have just being used as a divider, but as I said, it added intrigue. Something talking to you from the side of your mind.'Is it making connection to the woman?'
'Is Eve a symbolism of motherhood?'
Okay, It may be mother nature tying to the nymph in the wonderful image posted.
As I said it adds, it does not detract!

And have a great time celebrating Thanksgiving with your family and -x. I wished we adopted here in OZ, what a magic thing to celebrate.

You shine your light brightly, and with a quiet confidence my dear friend... like moths to the flame!

reply by the author on 23-Nov-2023

I understand but my poem has nothing to do with eve. She is a fable
character. I don't like that she is blamed for the world's sins.

Thank you for your beautiful words, you are a true poet at heart and it shows in everything you write, even reviews.

Con cariño,

Tu Amiga marival

Comment from Mark Schardine

Excellent

This poem really haunts the reader. The obsessive repetition of the declaration of jealousy reminds us that the worse may have already happened, and will happen again.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023

Thank you very much

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I am jealous that I can't even come close to writing poetry as well as you do. You are extremely talented. I know we're blessed here on FanStory that you share this talent with us. Thank you.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023

Barbara,

I appreciate your kind review and feedback. May you have a wonderful day.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from aryr

Excellent

What a beautiful haiku, Gypsy. You managed to break the flow with the phrase, 'I am jealous'. This was quite catchy. The pictures were phenomenal. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023

Aryr

I appreciate your kind review and feedback. May you have a wonderful day. Blessed be.

Gypsy hugs

reply by aryr on 20-Nov-2023

Most welcome, Gypsy.

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

googling the little symbols. . . � * ¥ * �
ahh! money...

love the repetition of "i'm jealous..."
the refrain and the other stanzas flowed well together

great imagery and cool pics, too

thank you for sharing
shelley :)

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023

Shelley

I appreciate your kind review and feedback. May you have a wonderful day.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Mike Stevens

Excellent

Another fine poem about the green eyed monster that lives just above our face and is a cruel master of our emotions and reason and controls are actions.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023

Mike

I appreciate your kind review and feedback. May you have a wonderful day.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

I am jealous of your beautiful skills in this genre. Lol. I have tried poetry time and again. It always sounds forced and contrived. Once or twice I have been able to put forth a mediocre freestyle. Your work is just so good. On a higher caliber than most. Great job. Gretchen

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023

Gretchen

I appreciate your kind review and feedback. May you have a wonderful day.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Paul Manton

Excellent

Dear Gypsy,

You have an embarrassing typo to fix right away: for 'chestnut hair' you have written 'chesthair' in verse 2. Unless this lady is a werewolf, I don't think you meant that.
Love from Paul

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023

It's a woman's point of view. Haiku are about imagery... here she talks about his chesthair. I divided the word in two... chest hair..

I appreciate your kind review and feedback. May you have a wonderful day.

Gypsy hugs

reply by Paul Manton on 20-Nov-2023

Sorry I misread that Gypsy.
Paul

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Good use of repetition and yes, the moon and wind have a great advantage over a mortal human body. Yet, if she really looks like that picture, and the one she loves is human, too, I think she has no competition from the moon or wind!

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023

Hahaha... the woman in the picture probably doesn't have a boyfriend problem but you never know.

Big sister

I appreciate your kind review and feedback. May you have a wonderful day.

Love

Marival

Comment from Douglas Goff

Exceptional

Had to six this. Great flowing beauty that matches the stone cold hottie in the picture.

More exquisite is your brain. You are such an impressive poet. I like ALL of your works, but sometimes piece just hits me in the gut like this one.

Bravo Master Poet!!!

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023

Thank you, Douglas.

I appreciate your exceptional six stars review and kind feedback. May you have a wonderful day.

Gypsy hugs