Dancing in the Grass
Life's always about when or then, but what about now?5 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
A very imaginative free verse. I can picture a young person laying the grass and taking in all the splendor.
notes:
As my eyes adjust I notice how beautiful the moon is.
- you may want to make this line bold too.
"You don't need anyone or anything", these thoughts plant inside my mind.
-"You don't need anyone or anything," these thoughts plant inside my mind.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023
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A very imaginative free verse. I can picture a young person laying the grass and taking in all the splendor.
notes:
As my eyes adjust I notice how beautiful the moon is.
- you may want to make this line bold too.
"You don't need anyone or anything", these thoughts plant inside my mind.
-"You don't need anyone or anything," these thoughts plant inside my mind.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023
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Thank you!
Comment from Wendyanne
This is a well written piece of free verse fantasy poetry which I found very beautiful to read and take in the sights.
"A blue and white butterfly flap toward me.
I grab onto their wings and we fly towards the sky.
I take my tongue and drag it across the Milky Way.
I grab Saturn's ring and wrap it around my finger."
This is such a wonderful image. Well done, good luck and welcome to this site.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023
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This is a well written piece of free verse fantasy poetry which I found very beautiful to read and take in the sights.
"A blue and white butterfly flap toward me.
I grab onto their wings and we fly towards the sky.
I take my tongue and drag it across the Milky Way.
I grab Saturn's ring and wrap it around my finger."
This is such a wonderful image. Well done, good luck and welcome to this site.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much, I truly feel welcome!!
Comment from Janis M.
This was extremely enjoyable to read, so yes I did absolutely love it. I read it twice. It is very different from some of the other poems I have read lately and I think in some ways that encouraged me to go back and read it again to appreciate it a bit more. I love the creativity in your descriptions.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023
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This was extremely enjoyable to read, so yes I did absolutely love it. I read it twice. It is very different from some of the other poems I have read lately and I think in some ways that encouraged me to go back and read it again to appreciate it a bit more. I love the creativity in your descriptions.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023
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Awe this was so nice to hear, thank you!
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is excellent work. You use expressive sensory words and colorful imagery that readers will enjoy, just as I did. Thank you for sharing this.
Best wishes,
Alex
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023
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This is excellent work. You use expressive sensory words and colorful imagery that readers will enjoy, just as I did. Thank you for sharing this.
Best wishes,
Alex
Comment Written 19-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023
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Thank you for enjoying it!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
What a first attempt here! The fantasy is nicely woven. One thing I learned here quickly is, if you want to win contests and get read to get points, you need pictures. Fanstory has some. But for more variety (they are free), use Unsplash, Vecreezy, Google Images, and the mother load of them all, Pinterest. All you need to is mention where the picture came from in the author's notes. Beware!
You can get lost in Pinterest! I lost an hour there yesterday looking at videos of babies laughing.
:-) Karen
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023
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What a first attempt here! The fantasy is nicely woven. One thing I learned here quickly is, if you want to win contests and get read to get points, you need pictures. Fanstory has some. But for more variety (they are free), use Unsplash, Vecreezy, Google Images, and the mother load of them all, Pinterest. All you need to is mention where the picture came from in the author's notes. Beware!
You can get lost in Pinterest! I lost an hour there yesterday looking at videos of babies laughing.
:-) Karen
Comment Written 19-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2023
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This made my day :) I will totally add pictures thank you for the tip! It really did feel like something was missing and yes Pinterest is my favorite app so you best believe ill be on there for hours hahaha.
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glad to help
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Have a good week. Karen
